Donate BTC or other Cryptocurrency
Your donation supports practical, accurate info about psychoactive
plants & drugs. We accept 9 cryptocurrencies. Contribute a bit today!
I Learned My Lesson the Hard Way
Cocaine
by A S
Citation:   A S. "I Learned My Lesson the Hard Way: An Experience with Cocaine (exp85460)". Erowid.org. May 11, 2022. erowid.org/exp/85460

 
DOSE:
  repeated IV Cocaine
BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb
It's been a few years since my nightmare of injecting cocaine finally ended, but I'll never forget the time I had while using. It felt good at the time, my three-month-long IV coke binge a roller coaster, without the ups and downs, but very fast, and no 'downs' until it ended. I had done cocaine before, but only by snorting it, and never in the huge quantities I used during the last few months of 2007. I don't believe I'll ever know exactly why I traveled so far down the path of needles, bloody messes, and hopeless addiction, but I do know how I got there, and what it did to me.

I had just lost my (very well-paying) job, and fell into a rut of depression and anger.
I had just lost my (very well-paying) job, and fell into a rut of depression and anger.
I wanted something to take the “edge” off, and, since I had done coke before and liked it, thought coke might do the trick. So, I set out to find a couple of grams, and then settled down to do a line. It disgusted me. I ended up sniffling constantly, and since the sniffling occurred in conjunction with the coke-induced jitters, it seemed an obvious sign to the people around me that I was on coke.

Not wanting the sniffles, but not particularly concerned about the jitters, I did some research online, and found out that cocaine could be injected. In my research, I found out about the rush a user could get from injecting cocaine that he would never get from snorting it. Excited, I went to the local pharmacy, and very confidently asked the pharmacist for a box of insulin syringes. I was quite nervous about the purchase, as I assumed I was committing a crime by buying the needles, but to my surprise, the pharmacist asked no questions, and gave me no trouble.

I went back to my house, and locked myself in and the world out. I went into the bathroom, cleaned the counter, and proceeded to lay out the materials I was about to use. As I was looking at them, my hands started shaking, and my heart began racing. I knew I had to calm down before sticking a needle in a vein, lest I make myself bleed all over. I was very nervous about shooting up, but I wanted it too badly to quit. I sat on the toilet, and made myself relax. When my hands finally stopped shaking, I put about a “line's worth” (100-200mg) of the cocaine into a spoon I cleaned with alcohol. I knew that everything I used had to be clean. I then put approximately 1mL of water into the spoon with the coke. Mixing the water and cocaine together with the plunger of a syringe, the cocaine dissolved completely, leaving no particulates. It looked sort of oily. I carefully dipped the end of the needle into the spoon, and, not using any “cotton,” sucked up the oily liquid. Having very prominent veins, I did not tie off my arm. I took a breath, and slid the needle into vein, and pulling back slightly on the plunger, saw a bright red plume shoot into the syringe. I knew I had hit my target. At this point, before I pushed the plunger in, I became surprised at how I knew how to do all of this. My heart began racing again. I began pushing the plunger in, ever so slowly. Before I had injected even half the mix in the syringe, my ears began intensely ringing, and I felt like I was on top of the world. I quickly pushed the rest of the red-tinged liquid into the vein, pressed a cotton ball to the injection point, and slid the needle out.

I was hooked.

After my first IV experience, I didn't want to stop. I took at least 5 needles, a spoon, alcohol swabs, and my coke, everywhere I went: to school (I was in college at the time), to my new job, to the mall, at home, even on vacation with my fiance. I was hopelessly addicted to shooting up cocaine. I was steadily losing weight, going from 140 pounds, down to about 90 pounds. I looked sickly. My belt had about four extra holes in it. My ribs and cheekbones stood out against my skin. I couldn't get an erection. I had bruises on my arms, from blown veins. I had lost all forms of the carefulness I had practiced the first time I injected. I didn't care about anything, or anyone, not even myself.

This continued on for almost three months, at the end of which I was arrested. To this day, I am not entirely sure of what happened, because my last shot almost killed me. I had suffered a massive overdose, at my work. I had injected more than five grams over the course of about 10 hours. That led to a seizure, cardiac fibrillation, and a coma that lasted around a week. I was accused of trying to kill myself via overdose, and was committed to a psychiatric crisis unit, after which I was arrested, and eventually found guilty of felony possession charges.

I've been on the wagon for over two years now. It has had it's difficult times, and I still get cravings, but for the most part, I simply look back at what happened, and realize, drugs and me don't mix very well.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 85460
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: May 11, 2022Views: 5,939
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Cocaine (13) : Alone (16), Addiction & Habituation (10), Preparation / Recipes (30), Retrospective / Summary (11)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults