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Overcoming Fear
DXM, ALD-52 & AL-LAD
Citation:   Lirid. "Overcoming Fear: An Experience with DXM, ALD-52 & AL-LAD (exp113884)". Erowid.org. Dec 27, 2023. erowid.org/exp/113884

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
3 tablets oral DXM  
  T+ 0:00 100 ug sublingual ALD-52 (blotter / tab)
  T+ 0:00 75 ug sublingual 1cP-AL-LAD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 1:00 4 tablets oral DXM  
At first I took 3 of my 7 pills of dxm (2.8mg/kg) and put the blotters I had prepared under my tongue. Then I went to play some Tetris to pass some time. After half an hour I got ready to take my routine walk, that I always take when I’m tripping. My routine helps me a lot during the comeup and I can always get a grip on the trip. I started walking and after about 20 minutes I arrived at my destination, the peaceful meadow near a forest. There I took the other 4 pills I had left (T:1:00).

As soon as I did I realized something was off, it felt weird to swallow these pills and my hands were trembling a little while I was swallowing. Everything started to become stronger and I got a little bit anxious, so I started walking home while listening to music. 10 minutes later I realized that sound was heavily distorted. It was not an unexpected effect on DXM but it was coming way earlier than expected. I put down my headphones and put them into my pocket and continued walking.

Everything in my vision started to get some kind of grey tint and everything started to look weird and scary. My body became heavier and I felt the physical effects of DXM starting to kick in really quick. Sounds were being heavily stretched and coming out of all directions, just random sounds that scared me. That’s when I realized I should get home as fast as possible, I was getting really frightened.

I knew I had to keep my calm, I didn't want end in a hospital. I needed to walk past a school and to my surprise it was just the time when parents started getting their children from school. When I was walking past them, what they were saying was not understandable for me anymore, it was way too much reverbed and distorted. I thought everything was okay. The cheerful appearance of the teenagers calmed me down, they didn't sound scary. But after a few seconds it went back to nightmare mode.

I finally got home. I realized I couldn't continue my usual routine. I went into the bathroom upstairs and striped off all my clothes including my underwear to get my body temperature down. I sat down on the corner of the bathtub and let cold water run down my feet, but it was already too much stimulation for my brain. I also noticed my vision getting worse and worse or rather the visuals getting stronger really fast. The vignette I had in my vision was getting stronger and stronger and more blurry. It was a whole new level of visual distortion for me. The walls were moving entirely and shapes were everywhere. I was really starting to panic and loose my mind.

To try to get this situation under control I started messaging a friend. He knew what I took, so I figured he could help me. I told him that I think I’m fucked and it is going to be hell. Then I went back and forth between my room and the bathroom, trying to pass some time. After that I went back to my computer and I looked at the clock only 5 minutes had passed. It felt like time stopped. I just wanted to get out of where I was. I wanted it all to stop. So I continued messaging my friend and he started to realize I was not having a good time. He started to give me spiritual advice and I was really having a hard time reading and trying to follow it.

I tried to lay down as he suggested. As I laid down I touched my chest and felt that my heart was pounding really hard and fast. It felt like a fist was hitting my chest from inside trying to get out. I was really questioning whether I’m going to die or not or whether I should get actual help, but then I remembered my friend’s words. I was just on drugs. I closed my eyes and that’s where everything started to unfold. I started to see three dimensional structures made out of fractals and I started to hear the orchestra of this other reality. It sounded exactly like one of Qebrus songs. It still wasn’t a pleasant experience because it was highly intense and I still had bad feelings inside of me, but it was highly interesting what I was experiencing. I started to understand what these sounds meant. It was the language of that dimension. It was how one communicates and deals and trades in that universe.

I was observing some entities trading something between each other, I didn’t see what was being traded or transferred (perhaps knowledge) but I understood that it was happening. Then everything was turning different, it got less exhausting but still intense. My jaw was jittering like crazy, I had a really hard time controlling it and my whole body was trembling too. After that I don’t really know what happened, because suddenly it popped into my mind "I have access to the entity, I can open the door at any time and visit it". Since I couldn't remember how I got this access, I closed my eyes again and I saw the door. I opened the door and then I saw the entity. It was very symmetrical and made out of fractals, it was rather round because so many shapes were overlapping. I somehow communicated in that language "Hey do you want to become one with each other?" because I was curious what would happen. Immediately as I open my eyes, my vision starts to vibrate and got filled with fractals and my body started to vibrate or rather I started to tremble, even the whole room was vibrating.

The room was slowly starting to spin faster and faster until it reached max speed and then it was complete. The auditory experience was also amazing, sounds were getting higher and faster too. I snapped back to our reality and realized all the funny thoughts I just had. I closed my eyes again. It was like all the bad stuff I held down, all the bad stuff that happened in my life, was suddenly in front of me and I had to deal with it. I was imagining whole scenarios and they were very realistic to me. I came to some kind of conclusion and resolved the issues that were presented. I felt slightly relieved.

T~2:00-3:00 I still wasn't feeling good, but I wasn't scared anymore because I realized I reached the highest point of the trip. It wasn't going to get stronger than that. That immediately calmed me down as I knew I could handle this intensity even if it went on for hours. Then, out of coincidence, the sun started to shine through my windows directly onto me. It made me feel more comfortable, so I started to try to listen to some music. I started playing my playlist I had prepared. My mood was slowly going uphill as the song was very very uplifting to the point where I started to hum it. I felt like a happy dog that was just content with just existing, I was feeling alright.

I figured I should message my friend on my phone telling him that I feel alright now. Then I went to my computer and listened to a song by the artist 2814 on my good over-ear headphones instead of my in-ears. I put my head on the table and closed my eyes. As soon as I did, my body disappeared. The whole feeling of my body just gone. I couldn't even feel myself breathing. I was floating. I was just a soul floating around in the universe.
I put my head on the table and closed my eyes. As soon as I did, my body disappeared. The whole feeling of my body just gone. I couldn't even feel myself breathing. I was floating. I was just a soul floating around in the universe.
I opened my eyes and was back to our reality. I took my phone and my in-ears and went back to bed. There I continued listening to my playlist. The next song on my playlist was an electronic future funk song called 'Crosstalk'. The crosstalk of the sounds didn't hold or echoed once or twice. No, the sound was being echoed and repeated many, many times. The robotic sound of the vocal chops was incredibly beautiful, I felt very comfortable now.

The song after that was a synth pop song with a really deep and harsh synth. The synth was really going hard on me, it sounded even more distorted than it is, it was taking me somewhere crazy, but not scary. I listened to some other songs from a lot of different genres including speedcore, which sounded even more insane that it normally sounds like, breakcore which was amazing because of its complexity and some other experimental stuff. But overall every song just sounded out of this world and had it’s own story. A last outstanding song was a polychromatic song by the artist called Sevish, 'Better Left Unanswered'. I started playing the song and I closed my eyes again and the emotions of this song were insanely intense and beautiful. If I had been able to cry I would have but that wasn't easy in my mental state. But I was still deeply touched by the beauty of this song. The polychromatic sound was just perfect for that kind of mental state.

After that I went to message some people. As I looked at my phone properly for the first time, I realized my phone was cursive, the whole screen was cursive. The text in the chat was cursive, every letter was moving or shaking and RGB colors were bleeding out of every single letter. Understanding any sentence was hard at that point, but still possible. I started to look around and I realized how much the room was distorted. The wall in front of me was curving towards me and the wall behind me was curving around so I could see it on the left if I didn't look directly into that direction. I went to the bathroom. The floor was completely uneven and it even felt uneven, it was such a funny feeling. The only bad thing that remained was when I drank water. It felt like a foreign object was forcefully entering me, but I knew I had to stay hydrated so I kept drinking water over and over again. I still ended up with a sore and dry mouth at the end of the trip. I started to listen to music and chatting with people. Time went by in an instant.

T:6:00 For the rest of the 6 hours I could feel the afterglow of the DXM. I felt really satisfied because I overcame that difficult experience. This was definitely a really good experience even though it was difficult at the beginning. The aftermath: none. I feel literally the same after that trip, as if nothing had ever happened. It almost feels like the information I got from the other reality is only accessible from the other side, not from our reality.



Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 113884
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 27, 2023Views: 18
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1cP-AL-LAD (952), ALD-52 (748), LSD (2), DXM (22) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)

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