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Confidence and Passion Restored
Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation:   daytripper. "Confidence and Passion Restored: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (exp113487)". Erowid.org. Jul 2, 2020. erowid.org/exp/113487

 
DOSE:
3 g oral Mushrooms
  0.5 g vaporized Cannabis
BODY WEIGHT: 186 lb
Loosely translated what I wrote down while tripping. I tried to organize it a little to keep it readable.

T – 00:15
I grind 3 grams of Psilocybe cubensis (Golden Teacher) and place them in an empty teabag. I added a bit of honey and some green tea to help with the flavor. I am somewhat experienced with LSD and have tried shrooms once before with a bit smaller dose but have not taken any psychedelics for a while so I get a bit nervous.

T = 00:00
I decided to put on back to the future and chill on my bed while drinking the tea. The tea tastes much more bitter and unpleasant than last time. I expect a rapid comeup because I had fasted for 17 hours before ingestion.

T + 00:25
I forgot that I had left a bunch of groceries on the counter. I can already feel my skin getting sensitive and a mild sense of euphoria. I would’ve preferred to lay down my but I figured I will forget the groceries if I don’t act now. As I get up and start trying to fit the groceries in my small-ish fridge I get some nausea and it’s making me anxious. It was really difficult but I made it. For some reason I thought that I “have” to put them all in place before I can go the bathroom. I run into the bathroom and instantly throw up.

As I’m throwing up I’m thinking “finally something different” and I smile. For some reason I am happy but I feel weirded out by that thought. “This is a good sign” I think to myself. I start washing my teeth and tell myself that self-help will be the theme of my trip.

T + 00:35
I get back to my bedroom and try to continue the movie. My perspective is clearly distorted. My thoughts are very clear and my skin is getting more sensitive. Writing my trip report starts to get incredibly hard and I notice that writing one sentence made me miss a bunch of the movie. It’s the first time I’m seeing it so I decide it’s important to not miss a bit. I had told my friend that I’ll be taking shrooms when I get work and I see that he has left me a message asking if I’m high. I smile to myself and write an answer to my report before getting back to him.

T + 00:45
I start to wonder if vomiting had an effect on the trip because I don’t feel as fucked up as I thought I would. It doesn’t matter to me. This is good, very peaceful and warm. I realize something about myself. This is what I like, nothing too crazy. I’ve done big doses of L only to brag about it.

T + 00:55
I feel like I could write on this forever. Although, it’s too hard to write everything that comes in mind. That’s ok, I’m getting a whole lot out of this. I almost got horny from my laptop pushing my crotch. There’s an incest joke in the movie so I get disgusted and laugh my ass off. There’s probably a joke about pornhub these days but I can’t think of one. I just imagine it’s there and laugh nonetheless.

T + 01:00
At this point I decided it’s too hard to count how many hours has passed and start reporting the time instead. The visuals are not as intense as I’d like so maybe I’ll vaporize some cannabis later. I really like the movie but I can’t focus on it. Writing seems better.

T + 03:00
I had watched some of the movie and chatted with my friends for a bit. A lot of time was spent on thinking if I’m being honest to myself. I vaporize some cannabis at 185 degrees celsius. My trip gets a lot more visual. I’m not sure what I have to write here. But well, I don’t have to right? I think I’ll just write what I want. I’m the only one that’s gonna see this after all (if I want so). For some reason I’m embarrassed to write anything. Even if it’s for myself only. That’s kind of scary. What’s wrong with me? I remember when in high school we had a writing exercise where you had to write whatever comes in mind. If nothing comes in mind you have to write gibberish. I start to write and complete nonsense appears on the screen.

“Have I not haved the skill to express myself? I mean a channel to express myself. Sorry future me “:D” I’m trying to relax now. No one will judge me for this. The only purpose in this is to leave some text I wrote for myself about this? Wow, it sure is trippy to look at my laptop from this angle. Looks like both keyboard and the screen are parallel to my vision. Vaporizing turned out to be the right call. This is a special event for me and I can’t worry about other people right now. I even have work tomorrow so I’ll need sleep”

T + 03:30
My alarm to go to sleep goes off. My thoughts go completely quiet for a while. I realize that I have never written a diary or such.

T + 04:00
I realize that the writing exercise I was referring to earlier happened a day after my first LSD experience. I get very happy about it. I remember how I read my LSD inspired story to a friend of mine and he was truly impressed. I go play my guitar with a huge passion. I even play better than usual. This is great. I feel like my life has just been turned upside down. I play a couple chords from “free bird” and my smile gets as wide as ever.

T + 04:30
Wow, I blew a lot of time for a few sentences again. That’s funny. I guess I should write more often, perhaps it would help me be more articulate and confident in my speech. I’ll probably be ashamed tomorrow about what I’ll write here, but that’s ok. I’m having the time of my life. The part before this now feels boring in comparison. Leaving you by Sound Remedy is playing. It’s important to remember this song. It will help me remember this beautiful moment. Or so I hope.

T + 04:40
Hello again future me. The text will from now on look like it was written by an idiot. But no can do. After all, I’m drugged out of my mind. It’s crazy that I’m writing this.

T + 04:50
Normally, I feel like time slows down on psychedelics but this is the complete opposite. Oh well, I’ve stopped to laugh at my naked self, to my guitar and … I forgot what else.

T + 05:00
It’s been at least 2 or 3 hours since I’ve vomited (I guess the time wasn’t going that fast after all). I was right about this being something different. I’m actually not anxious about anything no more. I haven’t felt this confident for a long time. I want to send my regards to future me: “don’t be ashamed of yourself :D regards mushroom guy”. If I have not written it yet the text I’ve written feels like a funny thing. I mean looks. The text makes up an object. A multidimensional, but still 2D image that can be read but cannot be read. My ramblings don’t make any sense but these are my unfiltered thoughts. Words are hard but I can’t do anything about it so it doesn’t matter. I feel like maybe I’m repeating myself too much? I can’t go back and organize this though, I can do that later. Or maybe not.
Thanks for that dot though…
“??? I don’t know where I was going with that but I felt like I had come up with a joke but there was no punchline, or any logic whatsoever. Kinda like when you are waaking up from a dream and try to explain that was in dream ??? I can’t. Fuck.

Lmao”

T + 05:15
I probably already wrote that I’ll vaporize some more but I don’t think I did vaporize anything because I began to write again. Huh, I could do these at the same time. I set it on 199 degrees celsius because from now on I want to take good care of my lungs. At least I would pleasantly find out about it but if not then 199 is good. I remember reading from a chart that 200 degrees is a bad threshold.

T + 05:16
My vaporizer is at 180 degrees now. I don’t know why I had to report that. I wonder if these will be interesting to read or just plane gibberish. Maybe a bit of both? I feel crazy again because I’ve been laying on my bed naked for 30 minutes high on weed and shrooms just spamming my thoughts on my laptop. I’m afraid someone’s spying on me. Well not really, but kind of. I should start using a password manager tomorrow. That would free up my mind. It could be beneficial to me to keep track of my thoughts even when I’m sober.

T + 05:18
I’m getting some good clouds from 199 degrees. It got dark outside really fast. But I guess I’ve been sitting here for a while now. Must’ve been 3 hours already since I took them. There’s nothing wrong with me. I just haven’t gotten enough practice and I lack confidence. When I overthink things go downhill. But that doesn’t matter because then I can use time afterwards to clean everything up. I should just do things when I have the energy and then fine tune them later. Check tomorrow how many appliances this idea has! I’m already cringing a bit at my text.
My screen looks multi-dimensional ? honeycomb
Another alarm goes off.

I had promised myself to go to bed early every day… now I am breaking that promise. I wish I could be my own supervisor. I’d probably like order. It’s also nice to do things, make something. Not just lay around all day doing nothing. Wow my days have been so boring for a long time. Do I really have to pee suddenly? This will probably be the last thing I’ll type on my report. My screen looks buggy I wonder what my apartment will look like.

T + 06:00
It’s been 30 minutes and I’ve done nothing but send nonsense messages to my friends. Or maybe I did go to the bathroom.

T + 08:00
Everything begins to even out. I’m still really high though. I read what I have written earlier in the trip and chuckle at them. I’m almost ashamed, but reading them again makes me happy. I have a feeling that I have just got out of Sauna. Or that’s the closest feeling that comes in my mind.
Shrooms have been very kind to me today.

Exp Year: 2019ExpID: 113487
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jul 2, 2020Views: 994
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Mushrooms (39) : Combinations (3), General (1), Alone (16)

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