DOSE: T+ 0:00	2.0 mg	sublingual	Pharms - Selegeline
T+ 0:00	20 mg	oral	Pharms - Propranolol	(pill / tablet)
T+ 0:10	1 capsl	oral	Mushrooms	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:25	1 capsl	oral	Mushrooms	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:45	1 capsl	oral	Mushrooms	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:50	1 capsl	oral	Mushrooms	(ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

Okay I am not a big writer and am writing this a year after growing and a week after tripping but I will try to give some information which might or might not interest the myco- or tripto-files reading this. The idea behind this experiment came after reading the statement of A. Shulgin in his book Tihkal under 4-oh-det that maybe the mushroom was a 'x in, 4-oh-x out'-machine, and the papers by J.Garz.

I had grown some cubensis using rye. I took one of my jars of completely colonized rye and added 100mg dipt to a small amount of soil and vermucellite. I had done this because in the earlier stage of rye colonization I would normally loose some jars to infection. After a certain amount of time cubensis mushrooms started to appear. Unluckily I could harvest just a small amount of mushrooms before the rest of the culture got infected. It is with these mushrooms I did my experiment. I had given some to a friend who had reported eating just a little amount. But since the effects did not develop within 15 minutes (and he had taken a small dose) he concluded that he had not had an 4-oh-dipt effect.

Setting: a cottage in sweden
Substances: half a B-100 pill, half a C-1000 pill, about 2mg of deprenyl (held under the tongue), half a 40mg inderal pill, four OO capsules of mushroom powder with about 3,1 grams of mushroom powder total, half a 50mg tofisopam tablet.

Chronology:

11:00 or 12:00 : had eaten breakfast of pasta from the dinner the day before

13:50 : Decide to take the mushrooms today. And take some b-vit, c-vit (both time release), inderal, and deprenyl. I take the first two almost every day. The deprenyl I take two or three times per week. I should probably have left the deprenyl out. But after an earlier experience where I had purposefully abstained from deprenyl for 10 days, so as to not mess with my first taste of Methylone, and then found the effect of Methylone (180mg) to be almost completely absent I decided that I should make a point of taking my 'medicine' that day (someone else taking 1 mg every day had had no problems with Methylone, and I had read a comment of one guy who had much less effect from mdma when taking 5mg deprenyl three days prior, but not when taking directly prior to mdma). Of course Methylone and mdma are no tryptamines, but hey, I did what I did anyway. The inderal was to combat the panic wich sometimes comes over me when taking a psychedelic these days. I did not want the panic to spiral out of control, and thought of it as a possibility to overcome that panic just as stage fright can be overcome by taking inderal once or a few times before an event, and then by positive learning making the use of the substance unneccesary. The inderal impacted my trip but I think it also did do what I intended.

14:00 : I drop the first of four capsules. pack a bag with some provisions and cd's. Put on 'bitches brew' by Miles Davis and leave the cottage to have a walk. Short panic, what have I done? Is this what I want? But I go my way and think no more of it. After about ten or more minutes of walking I have an alert that something is happening, but it does not develop.

14:15 : I took another capsule of mushroom powder. Since 4-oh-dipt seems to be a fast and hard hitter I had planned to space the four capsules 15 minutes apart. If the mushrooms tuned out to be more potent than normal mushrooms (wich would mean there would at least be some 4-oh-dipt along with psilocybin, I had read of up to 3% strength with triptamine/DET fed mushrooms) I would have some time to find out before taking a full dose. The swedish scenery was beautiful with little fields with cows, forest, and a little stream running through. I decide to lay down on a natural stone wall and enjoy the view. No more than the alert before.

14:35 : Take another capsule. I am surprised not to feel any more than I do. Normally I would feel something within half an hour of taking mushrooms. Maybe a year of storage might have decreased potency quite a bit.

14:40 : What the fuck, I drop the last capsule and head back to the cabin. The scenery makes me think this would be a good place to take acid. Probably because it reminds me of switzerland where I had taken my first day time acid.

Ok now the chronology gets lost. I can just estimate.
When coming back to the cabin (probably about ten or fifteen minutes after taking the last capsule) I sit down in the garden and look at the lake and the trees surrounding me. I start to feel the trip. It feels different than a mushroom trip. I come to the conclusion that this is : more purple than mushrooms... and think the description is quite funny. Hi hi..

When looking at my surroundings the purpleness reminds me of 2-ct-7 (probably because the package (blue mystic) was blue/purple) and also reminds me of it and other substances because it feels 'chemical' (not dirty just not organic). I do not feel a connection with the trees, nature seems uninteresting (in contrast to mushrooms, lsd, or san pedro). I decide to close my eyes and check it out. A swirling female figure comes at me. This is similar to figures I know from dmt/psilocybin. She has a certain sexualness to her, but I am not into exploring this further. These figures always seem to have a certain unfriendliness/non-empatheticness to them I do not like. As happens to me while tripping I can ask myself something and sort of get the answer as if it is some other voice then the one that was asking, giving the answers.

I ask myself why am I not enjoying this / am not into it. I get the answer that I am not into it because I decided not to get completely involved by taking the inderal earlier. It has created a buffer. I decide it is possible, but it may also just be that this is just me being overly critical at myself again and ask what else from the female 'it' has to show me. Nothing comes. This makes me feels the material (4-oh-dipt) is quite shallow when I decide not to play by its rules, I get nothing.

I think I got up to get a notepad and some tobacco. Sit some more try to roll a cigarette, light it, but it tastes bad (the deprenyl must be overruling the trip here, tripping makes me want to smoke, deprenyl completely abolishes that wish/enjoyment) and I put it out. At some point after this I start giggling. I lough a lot. Everything just gets me laughing although I do not find everything funny. laughing at the silly neighbor boy driving his moped up and down the road all day long, laughing at the sound of water when I fill my water bottle, laughing at the fact that I am trying to get some cornflakes going and forgetting and getting some peanuts instead.

Finally I sit down and have some cornflakes. I need some food. Sit down on the couch inside and start munching the cornflakes. After the third bite I start to get a little freaked out from the sound of the munching which is pretty loud. Basically as long as I chew I can hear nothing else but this overwhelming strange munching sound. I worry but decide I need to at least eat something since it has been a while and some food would do me good. Not enjoying this. I realize its pretty intense and have no idea what to do with it. So I decide to play some music. Put on the jazz cd 'red hot on impulse' but its not what I need. Really going on a bit of survival mode, its hard to decide what music would be good to sort me out. So I put on crosby stills nash and young on the stereo instead of the discman. I want to lay down on the couch, but decide I need to turn down the volume. I need to lay down. . . Decide I have to open the window. lay down again. The music does not sound great but it does help a bit in distracting and having some way to make the time go by. I keep on yawning and feel drowsy. I get up to skip the Neil Young songs, his voice is not what I need. I kind of like the song about letting your freak flag fly, this is the only song that was more than just a way to pass the time.

I'm restless and drowsy and not enjoying it. I get a clock to see what time it is. It is five ( I think...), and I do realize that this should not be going on for much longer. But can't figure it out quite well with the spacing of the doses, calculating and remembering is quite hard. I try to sit it out some more and then decide to take half a tablet of tofisopam. I am not too sure about this since it might make the drowsiness worse. Try to lay down some more. Get up grab a beer and go to sit outside on the porch.

Before taking this trip I had thought about what I would want to ask myself for this trip (I have done this with most of my trips). I realized that all the questions I would come up with I would reformulate until basically the solutions I wanted to get came out being the question I would ask myself (I had learned from a friend that the way he formulates those kinds of questions really shapes the trip. He had once asked himself the question: what am I doing wrong?, as a theme for his mushroom trip. And got his psychological ass whooped big time). Also there was the question if tripping at all should be a part of my life any longer (no longer being a student, having a demanding job, and having had a depressive episode in the past and still having some problems). So I decided that for this trip I simply wished for a good trip, whatever that may be (as in not to exclude negative feelings as long as something useful would come of it). I think this open attitude made the trip valuable even though most of the time I did not enjoy it.

Back on the porch I did not have the overview I have now and started remembering the question I had asked. A good trip. Well this definitely was not a 'good trip'. I felt bad and thought that the 'whatever that may be' in this case was a clear message that tripping was no longer something for me. I felt the same distance and alienation from tripping as I feel when I go to some of the raves I used to go to and see everyone on drugs while I am sober. It looks sad, stupid, and so empty and I wonder how could one enjoy this relying so heavily on the drugs to make it a 'good time'. People don't even smile a lot, just distorted faces and wild eyes which miss a friendly glow. At this point I think of all the time and money I have spent to collect all those fancy schmancy drugs most of which I used only a few times or not even at all. The whole collection in my fridge must be gotten rid of. And it feels so stupid to always be searching for that one psychedelic that is 'perfect', when the classics are as good as it gets (how could there be anything 'better'than mescaline? or mushrooms or lsd). And at least these substances are meaningful and penetrating (and otherwise there is always 2-cb if I want a less involving trippiness), and at worst I have a bad trip, but that is something I'm not going to change by using something else (unless I taking mdma, but then I've got the whole problem of a terrible hangover which does away with the positive effects of the 'trip', unless I'm taking prozac afterwards). I think about flushing all the drugs down the toilet, or just giving them to somebody to have.

I am restless unhappy and don't know what to do. Finally I decide to go to bed and ride it out. I do that and in bed I start to slowly come down. At first I still have to concentrate very intently at one point in front of me not to be distracted by voices chattering. I find if I concentrate enough I do not 'become the voices'. But after a short time my concentration will slack and I get caught up in it again. Then realize I have to snap out of it and concentrate again. This slowly fades away over time. And I start to feel some sort of contentment again. I get a hint of what has been mentioned about 4-oh-dipt; some cuddliness. I eat some nacho's. Later that evening when almost completely down I enjoy the sunset, and take another walk. It is beautiful.

The next day I have a wonderful post-trip-chill. That evening I go to a nearby village and have dinner at a terrace on the city square with a nice looking church. I am completely content, open, contemplative, quiet with inner peace, and think over the events of the day before, my life, and life in general. I enjoyed the quiet evening sun and the esthetic of the place.

So the way I look back at it now I can say a few things.
1. I am sure this was not a shroom trip. There might have been some unreacted dipt, and some psilocybin present. It is difficult to say. Maybe deprenyl with mushrooms makes the trip more 'purple' ( hi hi..!..). If my friend still has some of these mushrooms I will have them analysed to be sure.

2. Next time no deprenyl before a trip. I can not be sure, but my gut feeling says this is not a good combination, and might have increased the 'mind chatter'/voices at the end of the trip (could also be unreacted dipt, or just a strong trip coming to an end).

3. The Inderal did what it was supposed to do. But there might be a downside of feeling less involved or thrilled by the experience. Maybe this is also analogous to when I was on effexor (also has some beta blocking effects like inderal), I would be able to get perceptual distortions when taking psychedelics but never felt the feeling of awe and 'newness' that I had known from previous experiences. I know that Inderal has been tried to prevent development of PTSD after a traumatic event. I feel my experience with the dip'ted shrooms might have left much more of an emotional (traumatic) imprint on me if I had not taken the inderal. It left me able to more rationally analyse what had happened on the trip, and what that meant to me. Maybe having some inderal handy to take during or after a nasty trip (instead of before) would be good.

4. I am not sure I like 4-oh-dipt. I have some 4-aco-dipt that I might take at some point to see how it compares to the dip'ted shrooms. I feel taking it at home instead of in nature would be the way to enjoy this material more. Too bad the music did not sound better like with other psychedelics (maybe slight amount of unreacted dipt playing a role?).

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 45257
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 14, 2006	Views: 36,959
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