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My Saga of Addiction
Citation:   Captainbutternet. "My Saga of Addiction: An Experience with Kratom (exp100293)". Erowid.org. Mar 26, 2018. erowid.org/exp/100293

  repeated oral Kratom (daily)
    repeated oral Vitamins / Supplements  
  30 mg oral Loperamide  
My Kratom Saga

I writing this report as both a glad tidings and a warning to those out there thinking about giving Kratom a try, especially Opiate-naive individuals. There is both pro and anti Kratom media out there who both have the facts wrong, and I want to give my personal experience so others could get more educated.

It all started back in 2010 when I did a little Google search for legal highs. At the time, I had quit drinking alcohol, mostly because of my significant other. I got tired of being sober, and I wanted something to take the edge off.

First I found out about Kava, which was effective but horrible to drink and the effects varied wildly each time I dosed. After looking up legal highs I found out about Kratom and ordered some Super Indo. from a vendor literally 20 miles from my house. As such I received my little 1 ounce package of powder the next day.

I made a tea out of it and drank it, and waited. Then it hit me, and I was like 'Wow, this really does take the edge off!' At this time I was Opiate-naive, I had never taken any Opiate so the effect was entirely new to me.

At first I was a bit strung out but after about 2 hours I felt great. I just felt so damn great for the first time in my life, and that is when I realized I had self-medicated with alcohol only because that is the only drug I thought I could get my hands on. It is the only thing I've known but it wasn't what I really needed to function properly. Kratom was the key.

As such, Kratom completely ruined Alcohol for me. I no longer look at drinking the same way, and to this day, it is something I do only when there is nothing else available.

My Kratom use went on for about 9 months without incident. I would order 1 ounce, take it in a 3 day period, abstain for 3-4 days and go again. It was great, like I finally found the key to coping with life in general.

All good things must end I guess.

One day I'm shopping around for Kratom and I find this vendor with 4 ounces for a cheap price, so I order it. It was a Thai strain, and man was it effective. So 4 ounces would take me 7 days to go through at least. As long as Kratom was in the house, I'd take it. I have zero willpower when it comes to drugs.

For some stupid reason I decide to order another 4 ounce bag. I had not experienced withdrawals yet so I thought they could not be that bad. At that point I had taken Kratom for about 14 days straight. I finally decided to stop to reset my tolerance, as the effects were not as good as they used to be.

The next day I get home from work and go to take my daughter bowling, and that is when the withdrawal hits me hard. Just an all around shitty feeling, I remember thinking, 'Wow this really sucks bad'. So this is what drug withdrawal is. I quickly ordered another 2 ounces and that night, Kratom-less, I learned what it is like to not sleep due to withdrawal.

This is how I slowly got into Kratom addiction. I went from about 1/4 ounce a day to nearly 1 1/2 ounces a day by the end of my addiction. After 3 months of addiction, I had terrible constipation - really bad. I was eating the powder whole in a tea and it messed up my system bad. I then had to start taking massive doses of magnesium to keep my bowel movements regular. If I missed a magnesium dose I would get horribly stopped up to the point of being afraid of needed to go to ER.

Also, I started having neck and upper back pain. During withdrawals it was just so damn painful and annoying. To this day the upper back pain is still there, goes in an out, I assume a chronic casualty to the drug I no longer am addicted to.

For about 1 1/2 years I was addicted, taking ounce after ounce, ordering from wholesalers so I would get pounds of the stuff at a time. Nothing is worse then running out of Kratom and your shipment being delayed or messed up - it was the biggest despair I think I ever felt sometimes when that happened.

I also ended up losing 30 lbs due to addiction, I was bone thin by the time I quit.

I was leaving the USA so I had to quit in 2012, could not bring massive heaps of powder with me to maintain my addiction, especially when I was going to the countries where it is questionable on it's legality. So I found out about the Loperamide method for opiate withdrawals. I would take 30mg of Lope and it worked! The withdrawals pretty much went away, but no sleep could be had.

After about 5 days of no Kratom and Loperamide for withdrawals I thought I was home free until something sinister happened - the opiate withdrawal went away but I got stuck with severe anxiety. Kratom acts as an anti-anxiety as well as light opiate. This was nearly 14 more days of no sleep whatsoever, combined with terrible anxiety. The Loperamide did nothing for this. Kava helped a bit, but sleep was not coming. Alcohol just made it ok at first then horrible later on.

I got little to no sleep for about one month - yes, one month, until my body finally readjusted to sleeping without Kratom in my system again.

Currently I do still do Kratom but never more than 3-4 days in a row, and I keep my supply low on purpose. It's a nice and great plant and I would not discourage one from trying it, but one should be warned, when one hear people talking about how it is like coffee addiction, how its easy to kick after a habit forms - please heed my words:

Kratom acts an opiate. It is mild, but withdrawals are very real, especially if one is opiate-naive and have not experienced withdrawal. One should not go into it thinking it's just like coffee. I know that experience is the best teacher and all but I just wanted to tell my story so I could warn others like I was warned (and eventually ignored).

If handled responsibly it is a great life-enhancer from those of us suffering from chronic fatigue and depression. It is not a synthetic or legal high like Spice and should not be grouped in with those substances.

Bottom line is: respect it, Kratom is no joke.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 100293
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Mar 26, 2018Views: 7,081
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Kratom (203) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Not Applicable (38)

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