MDMA - Erowid Exp - 'My Life Did a 180 for the Best'

My Life Did a 180 for the Best

MDMA

Citation: William Slickymcgee. "My Life Did a 180 for the Best: An Experience with MDMA (exp100377)". Erowid.org. Jan 22, 2020. erowid.org/exp/100377

DOSE:

50 - 200 mg

oral

MDMA

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I would like to begin by explaining my life as it was.

The only thing I had going for me was intelligence and work ethic my entire life. I worked for very little pay and I had addictions to cigarettes, marijuana, crack, cocaine, alcohol and fatty, greasy, sugary foods. From ages 20-28 I weighed ~180lbs (size 34 waist) and I am 5'9'. I started to get even wider and almost needing 36 about 5 months ago. I would constantly degrade myself when I looked in the mirror.

I have been in many different fields of work. I got my diploma for network and administration when I was 21 and did not go into that field thereafter. I went into patrolling security. I have had 2 children with 2 women and those relationships did not work out. I had no real ambition and just wanted to 'get by' in life. I would excessively play video games and treat my body poorly.

I have been in many fields of work mostly because I needed rent money and bad habit money. I would never admit there was something I could not do or get done when I was told to do anything. I have installed ~23 fiberglass swimming pools (alot of times by myself), repaired dozens of hot tubs, framed houses and apartments for years, ~1500 hours as an electrician, drywalled, taped and painted tons of houses and generally did my best to learn and master any new skills that I had a chance to.

My entire adult life I accepted 10$-12$/hr to do all of the work previously mentioned, hoping that one day it will be benificial. At many points in my life I had 0$ and nothing to show for everything I've done.

I have never used, abused or took pleasure from anyone suffering or loss. My conscience is far too strong to allow me to be vindictive and violent. I am more of a pacifist and let bygones be bygones.

I've been told by both my fiance and current employer that I have a real communication problem and arguments have ensued because of said issue.

My entire life I have seen disgusting, violent, dreadful and despairing images in my mind that only a few could understand. I have berated myself for seeing so much, but understand that I see alot of good where people don't as well.

I like to think that it is the people that see things that no one sees can change the world. I use a bugs bunny episode I saw as a child as an example. 'The world, she is round!' 'No, she is flat like your head!' Everyone thought the world was flat, until 1 had an idea. Ptolemy, Aristotle, Einstein, Newton etc. All saw something different than the rest of the world and changed it forever. I am hoping I am capable of doing the same one day. 'In rememberance I relive' meaning that if people read of me, think of me and keep my memory alive, I shall truly never die, thus, living til there is no one left to remember my life.

In grade school, I was always close with the 'straight A' students and in areas, better than them. Physics, astromony, science, chemistry, mathematics and history I have always excelled at and see things in each that not many people see. In some aspects, I can relate to Einstein. As I have read alot about him, among many other earth changing individuals.

I grew up in the extremely poor areas of Winnipeg with my mother, her violently drunk boyfriend and my sister. He was a very comical, friendly and quick witted individual, until he had a 6-pack of beer. He would become a completely different person and become belligerent, sloppy and violent. They would leave my sister and I with almost no food and go to the casino all the time when they got money. At 16 I recall being introduced to crack and was smoking it with my friends and my mom. As with good comes bad, my mother and father are non-violent people. I was never hit by them so I 'give credit where credit is due'. They basically just let me be me and take care of myself, never telling me what to do or advising me.

Now that you have an idea of where I'm coming from, I would like to share my experience to date. About 5 months ago my buddy I've known for 12 years was telling me about how he was taking MDMA and I was telling him that can't be good. For weeks I listened to him and kept an eye on him. Shortly after he and his wife started using, he was out of cocaine for a couple days.

I did not see anything negative happening to them, so I got a sample to try out. Being precautious, I took the smallest little crystal (~.03g) and felt elevated. Up until that point, I always had trouble waking up on time, prioritizing and getting my life sorted out. That was the day my life completely turned around, for the greater good. I usually do not take any in the mornings and early afternoons. I notice that when I take a dose an hour or so before bed, I wake up easily in the mornings and ambitous to get up and start my day!

Since I started using I have not touched a drop of alcohol, a cigarette, a line of coke or any other harmful substance to my body.

Since I started using I have not touched a drop of alcohol, a cigarette, a line of coke or any other harmful substance to my body.

I even quit eating chocolate, chips, glucose foods and drinking pop! I was 184lbs when I started dosing myself. I am now 150 and in really great condition (6-pack and all). My diet has completely been revamped. I drink a double shot of wheatgrass and a orange-strawberry-banana booster juice with 2 fiber, 2 calcium, 2 energy and 2 warrior boosters almost every morning. This keeps me fed and with the calories I need for most of the day.

I attend the gym almost religiously, every day, doing a custom routine that this past several months have attracted big body-building and super fit people that I see daily to ask what I am training for. My answer is 'everything'. I use a 34.4lb vest and almost like dance but coordinate my body from top to bottom for up to 1 1/2 hrs. Each and every session, my shirt is completely soaked and sweat is all over the ground I train on. I forgot to mention, I take roughly .15-.2g of MDMA before I walk in the gym. I drink 2 bottles of gatorade G2 each session (electrolyte replenishment). After the gym, I get an orange-strawberry-banana booster juice with 2 fiber, 2 soy protein and 2 whey protein shots.

I have extensively researched any question or concern I have had regarding my health, work and life in general whilst on MDMA. I read for hours straight gaining knowledge to make my family's, my life and anyone I can help better everyday. I have been so productive and focused, I make enough money to buy a 2012 camaro SS convertible and invest in several businesses with potential. 2 years ago I had no car, no job and no possessions.

As I have said, with good comes bad. I think in my case, it's not that bad. Issues I have are urinating due to paranoia on higher doses (~3g) and being extremely paranoid about intruders in my home and when I am alone in my room. Although not the greatest feeling, I am completely prepared, ready and waiting should such an event occur. 'An ounce of preparation is worth a pound of pain'. Another issue would be staying erect for long periods of time and ejaculating due to paranoid feelings (on higher doses). It does help premature ejaculation on the days that may happen and can't see why the fiance would not think it a benefit sometimes.

As well, I have change my daily wardrobe into 1 outfit (I wear this everyday, everywhere I go, everyday of the week and in any circumstance). I now wear 5.11 tactical socks, pants, shirts, TDU belt along with accessories that include a tactical serated knife, butane lighter, astronauts pen (never fails and is 30$), multi-tool tactical cell phone case, key ring and tactically small, yet powerful, 310 lumen fenix flashlight. People sometimes ask why, I use these tools on a daily basis and am more ready for almost any emergency situation than almost all citizens and most police officers.

In conclusion, upon reading this, I hope you DO NOT get the impression that taking MDMA will do this for you too, as I have witnessed with many users I have met. I am a 'chronic' user and have not experienced any negative effects that can even come close to outweighing the benefits (thus far) and hope that down the road it does not happen that way. I watch everything I eat and try to be as natural and healthy as possible. Always hydrating my body and giving it proper vitamins and minerals.

If you have read this lengthy story in full, I thank you for your time ^^

[Reported Dose: ".05g-.2g average .3g-.5g when I let loose"]

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 100377
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Jan 22, 2020	Views: 774
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MDMA (3) : Performance Enhancement (50), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)

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