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Lost Time Ruined Marriage
by Allegory
Citation:   Allegory. "Lost Time Ruined Marriage: An Experience with Alprazolam (exp100577)". Erowid.org. Feb 24, 2021. erowid.org/exp/100577

T+ 0:00
2 mg sublingual Pharms - Alprazolam (liquid)
  T+ 0:48 12 - 13 mg sublingual Pharms - Alprazolam (liquid)


Times are accurate, as I was planning on sharing experience with a skeptical friend.

I recently obtained some pharmaceutical grade Alprazolam powder from a supplier of mine. it came in a small baggie containing roughly 1.082g of powder (excluding baggie weight). My source works in the pharmaceutical industry and the powder comes directly from the manufacturing plant, so it's 100% pure. (Please don't bother disputing me on this, it's pure)

This was not my first experience with Xanax, I have had some 2mg bars recreationally now and then, and it helps with my anxiety.

Being powder, and incredibly potent for its very small size, I prepared the Alprazolam in a 2mg:1ml solution of powder and 95% ethanol respectively. For measuring purposes, I used a safety syringe, much like a child's tylenol plunger.

3:50 I consumed 1ml to start (2mg), sublingually.
4:05 I was beginning to feel the effects. relaxation, less persistent rage, etc.
4:15 The dosage had peaked, but I was in a calm state of mood, but still eternally stressed, and decided to dose more.
4:30 By the time I felt motivated enough to redose, I was getting slow in the head.
4:38 I refilled the plunger all the way, intending to only take another 1ml. When I ingested the second dose, my lack of attention dosed roughly 6.25ml (13mg)
4:55 It hit me hard. I was in a great mood, decided to sit on the couch and read a book.
6:23AM I wake up, go to work.

*****************Here's where it gets interesting.

I did not go to sleep until 2-3AM I have zero memory of the everts that happened. I have been told I was yelling at my wife saying 'I'm leaving you, I've never loved you' and attemped to fight my way to the car. I have never *ever* had a violent outburst. I was told I made it to the car and tried to run over my wife, but the car was in park, and thus failed. It seems I then went inside and began burning photo albums and punching myself.

In the morning when I woke up, the house was empty. Everything seemed normal to me. I woke up to a note saying my wife was leaving me and taking the kids. I went to work, was not able to contact her. When I got home, she was packing, and recounted to me what happened.

It is now the evening after, and I have absolutely no recognition of the events. Physically, I feel well rested if a bit dehydrated.

^^^^^^It seemed that at a dosage that high, it brought out a lot of repressed issues. I am experiencing strong suicidal feelings, not sure if from the drug or from what I did.

Please exercise caution when dosing without a partner to spot you

Exp Year: 2013ExpID: 100577
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22 
Published: Feb 24, 2021Views: 530
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Pharms - Alprazolam (98) : Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Alone (16)

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