Citation: Gordon. "Destruction of Thought: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp100713)". Erowid.org. Jul 13, 2013. erowid.org/exp/100713
I had taken 25i multiple times in 1mg doses and unhappy with the experience I had 5 days prior I decided to kick it up a notch. At about 10:30 I stuck the two 1mg blotters in my upper lip and waited for the effects to kick in. I knew about vasoconstriction, but didn't really experience much at 1mg so I assumed it wouldn't be too bad at this does. I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't experience any, and had know weed to work well at preventing LSA vasonconstiction so I smoked some as well, about 30 minutes after taking the 25i.
At first I just really felt like a strong stoned feeling. As time went on I became more anxious, and my body started tingling. I didn't have a watch with me after this time so I can't be sure how long this period lasted, but it seemed to last for awhile. During this period I took a walk, and soon objects started to distort blending together slightly. As well as lights became brights, and rays of light where cast fairly far past them. This was a state I was familiar with.
As more time passed I started to become nervous, my heard began racing, and that started to frighten me. I know what vasoconstriction feels like, and I wasn't feeling too much effects from that, had I been sober I would have know to just ride it out. However I was not sober. My thought process was starting to deteriorate. I couldn't remember many things about who I was, or my life. I was panicking, I woke my mom up and had her drive me to the hospital. There I was asked my date of birth, and I could not remember it. Yet strangely while I could not remember when I was born, I was able to travel to periods in my life. I could think and experience things from my past. Visually I could see and feel them happening inside my head, though I had no control over where I was going. I struggled to think, I had the doctors reassure me I wasn't going to die. Which they did. My memory and perception were both terrible, I couldn't tell what was going on really. Objects were still swirling together. I was seeing very vivid fractal designs.
Perhaps the most interesting part, were the closed eye visuals. I could not tell the difference between when my eyes were open or closed. I can't recall what exactly I saw, but it must have very closely resembled the real world, for I could not differentiate between the two. During this time I was asked several questions by the doctors, none of which I could answer properly. I didn't like them asking me these question, if someone said something to me I didn't like I started to dislike the person. Which is not something I ever normal do.
The whole time the body load was a bit uncomfortable. It was like an uncomfortable orgasm going on throughout my body. It felt good and bad at the same time. Not of the tingling, or pains I had experience with vasoconstriction, and my veins seemed to be normal size as well as my hands were a healthy red color so I can only assume the feeling was a product of the psychological effects of the drug, and not any actual physical side effects. Though my memory wasn't very good, so I can't say for sure.
Time was at a stand still, everything seemed to last for an eternity. I kept waiting for myself to die, for everything to end. Not sure of why I was alive, or what I was doing here. Yet I kept going. It was like I had no idea what life or my own consciousness was and I expected it to just cease at any moment.
I remember at one point during the night I couldn't differentiate between words and tangible objects, and it seemed as if I could see words. See them, understand them. It was almost like I myself was a word, and as my thought process continued and I thought new things I became those new words.
Other interesting quality was the headspace. Now I have heard this term before, but never had it described to me, so I am not sure if I am using it correctly. It is the word that bests fit though, sorry if it isn't the accurate term. It seemed that my mind was actually physically and I could walk around inside it. Which is how I got from one thought to the next. Perhaps this was why I had perceived myself to be words. It was like a big physically area inside my body that I had access to, and I could access any part of it I liked. Well that's what it seemed like, but as I mentioned before I could not control what thoughts came into my head.
With my memory shot so badly, I assumed that I must have been an alien trapped inside a humans body. Obviously this was not the case, but I couldn't even really remember who I was, and this world seemed so foreign and strange to me, it really seemed like I must have been an alien.
While I did not have a clock throughout most of the night. I distinctly remember seeing strong visuals at around 3 AM around when I finally got how and went to bed. So around four and a half hours in. Light seemed to make them stronger. In the dark it just seemed like rays coming out from my alarm clock and extending into the darkness. When I would periodically get up to go to the bathroom though, as soon as I turned on the light it was like everything in my bathroom was swirling together. Vivid fractals and blending patterns. The fractals at this time were more fluid than ever, and very dark green in color. It was a shade of green I had never seen before, and I didn't like it to tell the true. This went on til 6:30 AM. The effects very slowly dissipating. Once they were over my mind was still racing and it was very hard to get to sleep, though that was something I was used to.
All and all it was very enjoyable, even with the doctors nagging me. Once I had their word I wasn't going to die, and I would be safe I stopped worrying, and when I did most negative aspects of the trip where gone. While I know it wasn't necessary to go to the hospital I am glad I went, because it helped me get out of the bad part of the trip. I have no idea what my mom thinks of all this, I don't want to talk to her about it again though I know it will come up. My philosophy on that though is I would rather be alive and have her upset with me, than Dead regardless of how she felt. And with the state of mind I was in I really did feel I was going to die before I got to the hospital.
To be blunt the effects at 2mgs even with having taken the drug 5 days prior where vastly stronger than at 1mg. At 1mg I barely got any visuals. There was some rays casted off objects, and some fractals, but nothing vivid. And my perception of the world, and my thought process remained fairly normal. I was not prepared for how intense this trip would be. The effects were far more than twice as strong. Be careful when taking higher doses of these chemicals, I have taken it and other psychedelics before, but never experiences something quite like this. While I told my mother and the doctors I wouldn't do it again, I think I will. Though I never plan to take that high of dose with 25i again. If it wasn't for the racing heart rate which I think was caused by it, I don't think things would have gone out of hand at the beginning. Still a great experience though, and again despite my mom finding out and going to the hospital I think it was worth it.
I wish I could put this better into words, but the psychedelic experience is something I have a lot of trouble describing. And my memory of the time isn't the best.
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