Modern humans must learn how to relate to psychoactives
responsibly, treating them with respect and awareness,
working to minimize harms and maximize benefits, and
integrating use into a healthy, enjoyable, and productive life.
After-Effects and Loss of Magic After Hiatus
MDMA
Citation:   Stefan. "After-Effects and Loss of Magic After Hiatus: An Experience with MDMA (exp100973)". Erowid.org. Oct 10, 2018. erowid.org/exp/100973

 
DOSE:
  oral MDMA
BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb
I am 31. I started using ecstacy and mdma. I was a heavy user in my early 20s, dosing anywhere from 1 to 5 tablets every 1 or 2 weeks.

While I enjoyed the after effects most of the time, they eventually started to become more negative after a while, and I definitely did begin to notice a 'loss of magic' while taking ecstacy. I eventually stopped altogether. I went about 4 years without taking any ecstacy at all. Then in 2008 I went to an EDM festival and took several pills. After all this time, I felt the magic come back and the after-effects were once again pleasant. Two years later I repeated the experience, once again the effects were the same.

Now it has been another three years, at another festival this year (2013), I used mdma powder four nights in a row, and on the fourth night my experience was more euphoric than the previous three, and now 2 days later I'm feeling great, though quite tired, and I feel like I did after the first few times I dosed.

I estimate that over my lifetime that I have taken over 300 doses of ecstacy and MDMA. But if I take a good, long break, that there is no loss of its magic for me
if I take a good, long break, that there is no loss of its magic for me
and the after-effects are still quite positive.

I am still on the fence about MDMA's link to depression. While I do suffer from some depression from time to time, I can't know if it's due to heavy MDMA use. I feel like I've actually been depressed since childhood, and while it's likely MDMA didn't help anything, I can't say with any certainty that it has caused or exacerbated my depression in any way. And even so, it's quite manageable.

[Reported Dose: "Approx. 1.5 - 2 g over a weekend"]

Exp Year: 2013ExpID: 100973
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 31
Published: Oct 10, 2018Views: 996
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
MDMA (3) : Loss of Magic (34), Retrospective / Summary (11), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults