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From Fear of Death to Indescribably Beautiful
4-HO-MET
by chip99
Citation:   chip99. "From Fear of Death to Indescribably Beautiful: An Experience with 4-HO-MET (exp101200)". Erowid.org. Aug 1, 2017. erowid.org/exp/101200

 
DOSE:
30 mg oral 4-HO-MET

BODY WEIGHT: 95 kg


Set: Excited, Summer vacation.
Setting: Home in my room alone at night with music and PC.

Forword:
Actually, I never wanted to write any trip reports but the whole was so fascinating to me and I feel as if everyone should have once made such a similar experience. Only the positive of course. Until now I had experiences with LSD and 2CB psychedelics. Of these I had but no real visual effects except for some morphing etc. However, I wanted to try a substance that comes well visually. After some research I opted for 4-HO MET because it is not mind-heavy as other psychedelics but it should be fun and visually beautiful. Actually I wanted the trip to do in a forest near here, however the summer ended and it has become a lot colder. I decided to do it at home. Where forest probably would be much better but I can still enjoy the experience. However, 4-HO-MET is a substance that is basically the same as mushrooms but is more colorful and not so mind heavy. I think the less mind heavy part is not really true but more to this later.

The Trip T+0:00
Evening about 23 o'clock I took about 30mg 4-HO-MET. Please note this is not a safe dosage for everyone! I decided to take this dose because I finally wanted to see visuals of the notorious and was also sure that it is okay because the substance is not intended to be so mind-heavy.

I didn't eat anything 4 hours prior to trip to avoid any problems. Then I took it to me in a gel-capsule. I was pretty nervous because I did not know what to expect so I decided to play League of Legends because it distracts me and reassured me. I played for a while, then I noticed the first effects. I finished the game and looked a bit in the room and saw not much except some morphing to the texture of the cabinet. I had music on and was in an IRC chat. Then the body load came. I felt pretty weird and uncomfortable and looked at a picture of an artist to distract me and was chatting in IRC.

T+0:40
I looked at a picture I was just fascinated by it. Everything was moving around. As a kind of 3D and as if I were there. Its hard to describe. A figure in the picture turned and looked directly at me also.


At the border of a horror trip T+1:00
The coming up was an incredibly disgusting feeling. Sometime I do not know why or what caused it I thought there were bugs or critters flying around me and attack me. My hair would fall out. I reached out to even check it over and think I have even seen the hair were in the air and slowly fell. I even thought its real at the moment so it seemed very real to me. I had not even considered that it is not real. But it was not that long, Maybe about 5 minutes but could also be a total of 15min. So much for not mind-heavy. Well, that may be because I took it the first time and the dose was really high ... Then there came a feeling as if water were dripping on my arms (as if you stand in rain) It just scared me but it was not that bad.

I had to pause the music because I could hear horror noises there just out of nowhere. This disappeared after a few seconds but came later from time to time. But the worst is coming now. I looked in the mirror and clicked on the play button to run the music again but it came very bizzare and almost sounded cruel. I quickly pressed the pause button and then it happened. I was incredibly afraid yes almost scared to death. I do not know if I've felt something like that before. It was almost as if I am in the hell now the whole atmosphere around me has changed (not visually just trying to explain my mind in that moment). The feeling just came out of nowhere but I was still in reasonably sane. I have looked in the mirror and told myself that it is the drug and I will not screw myself and I can control it. The panic attack then disappeared immediately. But was generally a very afraid phase. I was even afraid to change the current song.

The beginning of the good trip T+1:15
Actually, much has happened and I do not remember exactly everything and a lot can not really be described but I'll try it anyway. I had probably reached the Plateau and now pretty much everything morphed. I looked around the room. Everything seemed to breath, the ground seemed to be melting. There were lights in the room. It was as if as a kind of colorful ball of light hovering in space that change color and the light constantly. But I could not see it directly only in eye angle I noticed these lights. I also got the feeling as if the whole room was moving in one direction but it was clear to me that it's not real and it was only when I focus on it. It was not really scary but more interesting. I was still sitting at the PC and tried to read the chat on IRC. The letters but simply flew around and I just could not read anything.

From this point I started to have fun. I found it awesome and just looked at the IRC chat for a while. The text went from fat to thin, from small to large , the letters did what they wanted. The background was suddenly very bright as if someone extremely increased the contrast then again to become normal or dark. Even the desktop has moved, the entire display was actually moving but it was clear to me its not real. Somehow it seemed to me that the song currently played controlled the text in IRC. I changed the music and the chat was readable again but always strong on morphs or so weird to each other fluently. I looked at a few pictures on the internet which were all very interesting and I just thought if this is already going on in the computer so how would it be in the forest. I briefly regretted not going to the forest but it was not possible anymore ... I also saw as a kind of ink particles in the air and in my monitor. They were just there in the room but also rapidly disappearing .

Until now I tripped practically only in the computer. I could not really think clearly. But I had made up my mind to do something then forgot it or did something else. Generally I just didn't want to move. A walk would probably require a lot of will power but it was cold night outside so this didn't matter anyway. The music has been very good definitely better than sober. It also did not seem as important to what song was played.

I then went to the balcony because I wanted to see something that is not in my room. The sky was clear full with stars. I looked at the stars and it was like they had all different colors now, not just white. They shot from bottom to top as star shed, circled around, etc... I can not explain. However, I was on balcony only in socks and it was freezing cold. I did not really wanted to go away but it was just too uncomfortable and I got a feeling on the feet as if I was standing in water. My feet felt very wet. It was very real for the moment. To look on the ground to see that there is no water I wasn't even thinking about that. But that was not so bad. I quickly went back inside. I then also noticed that my feet were just very cold and not wet I didn't really feel like still sitting at computer but I still did it because I didn't know what to do.

The trip in bed CEVS T+2:00
On IRC then someone advised me to lie on bed and close my eyes. Then I can see so called CEVS (closed eye visuals). I did that and closed my eyes and put my hand on it because I thought it must be dark. I had on a light and did not wanted to turn it off. it seemed to me something threatening. What happened next was so perfect in its whole, it was just incredibly beautiful. The only thing I remember was a kind of flying bright star that extinguished but perfect to the music. It was as to each tone of musical visual came so quickly so beautiful that I can hardly remember. Hardly I saw it was there was already the next thing. However, this WOW effect I had only at the beginning. I then opened my eyes again. I do not know why but that was probably a mistake more or less. I was probably uncomfortable. I closed them again, this time the visuals were somehow different. Once I flew into some kind colorful tunnel. The visuals but also changed very quickly here constantly. I do not know really what I've seen there but it was all represented. Colorful lights, colors, Different structures, faces. One a panther and a tiger that jumped in my face but it was not fearful rather the contrary. I had to laugh the whole time.

4-HO-MET makes one pretty cheerful. I just laughed and was happy for no reason. I would compare it a bit with MDMA. I often saw faces. Especially one with female eyes but not the full face but only the eyes with a part of the face. This face had often opened and closed her eyes and I believe even blinked. This were the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Once there was a combination perfectly to the music. Invoked just so perfect that it totally blew me away, I was very happy. These eyes appeared and disappeared, sometimes left and sometimes to the right while holding such a kind of wink. Hard to describe but awesome. I saw a lot more but I do not really know how to write that. I had all the time my hand over my eyes. And I got a sense like my hand was merging with myself. The hand came more and more to me and it seemed as if I become one with my hand or something. But then I interrupted it taken down my hand and opened my eyes again. It seemed to me as if I lose control and I was a bit anxious, maybe also because I did not know what happened there. Was probably more so even a mind trip feeling. Also had the feeling as if I'm one with the bed. I also thought that my eyes are not closed even though they were closed. It was as if I am a visitor in a different world. But then I stopped the CEVS because I got the feeling that the longer I had the eyes closed I will fall asleep or rather so that my mind wanted to say goodbye. Like I would be complete there in this other world. I've Probably had some anxiety before and I 'm going to be trapped there and not get out.

The ceiling with thousand faces T+3:00
I went to the PC and have started Chillout Dreams. I wanted some quiet music. Then I went back to bed this time with my eyes open. I simply stared up on my white ceiling. What I would have never thought possible happened now. Not really put into words but I'll try to describe it so that one can imagine it to some extent. First, from nothing many small Colorful lights colors who turned and moved around. This then turned into a Mayan or Aztec art that changed constantly and moving. Also, there already seemed to be faces. The pattern disappeared and the ceiling was full of Homer Simpson faces or heads. Looked very real and in 3D. The whole ceiling seemed to move down to me and come closer. Then on left I noticed in my corner of the eye a kind of many small colorful lights flew past very quickly like a highway.

In the mirror I saw a kind of Shadowman run on the way like Charlie Chaplin, he was very thin and long, but all seemed incredibly funny as a cartoon. I wanted the situation not to end so I stared on the ceiling above me not moving at all. Then, a Homer head/face or maybe even the entire Homer Simpson has gone to me about the ceiling right down to the wall. Waiting there right next to my bed. I was absolutely blown away and could not stop laughing. Unfortunately, this colorful street lights disappeared quite quickly and the guy in the mirror too. But at that moment it was as if the whole room was alive. It was just amazing. Well then everything played out only on the ceiling. Some of the patterns have also had holes or something and got bigger over time. As a kind of universe but the whole closed down quickly. I also saw something like monkey faces, I suppose. Various patterns flew things the past, interacted with each other, anything was possible. Once there was a pretty funny scene. Homer Simpson has been eaten by other Homers and has dissolved. I tried to see if I can influence the images when I think of something particular. I thought of a sexy lady and then almost saw a woman's face but with some animalistic looks. I was endlessly happy. Then I tried to think of something scary and wanted to see if that has any influence. Once there was to see a huge grinning grimace on the whole ceiling. But I believe that this came before few times too. The Merry mood seemed impossible to make broken. Simply fascinated and happy .

The Comedown T+4:00
Unfortunately, the come down was pretty quickly except for minimal morphs there was nothing to see anymore. I felt good but pity it was so short. I went back to the PC. I've then see pictures on Facebook and people I know. They still looked a little different than normal. I looked at pictures from the club where I was last time. It gave me the impression as if the people in the foreground were photoshoped in the image . Some people looked something like cartoon from default. A girl had a grin like a troll.

Conclusion
I found it very beautiful. That's what I've always imagined under psychedelics when people talked of it. While the comeup was very bad it was a pretty short period of time but perhaps with more experience it would be easier to handle. I wonder why I've seen so many faces. Why Homer Simpson? The textures looked very similar to that of the Maya or Aztecs. I've never dealt with this stuff. These women eyes were just beautiful.

Exp Year: 2013ExpID: 101200
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 25 
Published: Aug 1, 2017Views: 3,967
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4-HO-MET (436) : First Times (2), Alone (16)

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