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The Happiest I Remember Feeling
MDMA
Citation:   Lady Crown. "The Happiest I Remember Feeling: An Experience with MDMA (exp101302)". Erowid.org. Nov 12, 2019. erowid.org/exp/101302

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral MDMA
BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb
I had taken Ecstasy once before, but it was too low of a dose for me to experience it fully. I felt happier and more comfortable, but that was it. The second time I took it, it was a completely different experience.

A friend of mine had an extra ticket to Riot Fest. She asked me if I wanted to go, I agreed. Iíve been meaning to take Molly again since the first time, just to make sure there was more to it than what I experienced the first time, which was so mild that I knew all the craze about this drug couldnít be about what I felt.

We walked from the train station to the park where Riot Fest was being held. About 5 minutes before we went in, around 4:15, we took the pills. We walked inside the fest and just started walking around. The atmosphere in there was phenomenal. Everyone was happy.

I donít remember the exact time I first felt the effects, but I think it was about T:+30. I remember my vision slowly starting to change. I remember saying to my friend ďI think itís kicking in.Ē I donít remember the next minute or two, but I remember my friend taking my hand and walking to a tree. It was a tiny tree, and I sat with my back leaning against it. This is when the drug took its full effects. My vision felt exactly like it does when Iím on a roller coaster under large G-forces and Iím about to black out.
My vision felt exactly like it does when Iím on a roller coaster under large G-forces and Iím about to black out.
I felt like I needed to throw up, but I wasnít nauseous. I looked around, and everything was soÖDIFFERENTÖI started to panic. I remember thinking to myself ďI canít do this, Iíll just go to sleep and wake up and itíll be over.Ē My friend kept talking to me to try to get me to relax. I wasnít visibly panicking, but later she told me my pupils were like pinpoints from fear. I asked her, since sheís done this drug before, ďwill it get more intense? I donít think I can handle it.Ē And she said, ďitíll get better.Ē And it did.

She told me to sit tight, that she would get me water. She got up, and I started looking around. Thatís when I realizedÖeverything was so beautiful. Everyone was moving around me and I could feel their energy. Everyone seemed to be happy to be there and I started to pick up on it and I calmed myself down and went with the feeling. I noticed my hands were sweating and suddenly I felt very, very cold. But it didnít feel bad, it was just unexpected. My friend came back, saying in a singsong voice ďI got you a presentĒ and she gave me a tank top with Riot Fest written on it. She left again to get the water. I started feeling better and better by the second, and after 5-10 minutes or so, the climb was over and I was in the best place I can imagine. She came back with water, and very excitedly told me, ďCome here! You have to see this!!Ē

(T:40) (Pretty much guessing on the times) I got up and started walking with her. Walking was an entirely different experience than what I was used to. It didnít feel like I was moving my legs, instead it felt effortless and like my body was moving without me telling it to, and I was just along for the ride. But it wasnít like I was out of control. I had perfect control over my movement, moving just feltÖbetter. We walked to this wrestling match. I laid in the grass next to my friend and we watched the wrestlers for a few minutes. We then had a deep conversation about our friendship, and established at that moment that we were actually best friends. This conversation was the closest I have ever felt to her. After that, we decided to get up again and at that moment, we both looked up and saw the HAPPIEST squirrel Iíve ever seen, bouncing in the grass. It was very significant to us because we had recently tried to raise a baby squirrel that we found abandoned by its mother, and we lost it after 3 days. So this moment felt like it happened just for us, it was very, very bonding.

It really was just pure bliss in its entirety. Just to see that squirrel. Everything was like that. Everything. I noticed the tiniest details and everything is significant and amazing and happy.
I noticed the tiniest details and everything is significant and amazing and happy.
It feels just like when I was a kid and life was full of wonder and I wanted to touch and see and experience everything.

(T:50) She wants me to go on a spinny ride, but I donít like the idea. I suggest the ferris wheel instead. We buy tickets and wait in line. We went on it, and it was probably the best decision of the day. I normally get a little bit of vertigo, but I felt no fear of heights, no anxiety in the slightest. It was just a beautiful and amazing sight to see the entire park and all the people at the different stages.

(T:1:00) We keep walking, and walking just continues to feel amazing. We see some people we know. We go to different stages, and with each style of music, it takes a few moments to acclimate to the change in pace and environment. I could really feel the difference in the moods. I kept stopping to take pictures because everything was beautiful and I wanted to remember the feeling. Being in the sunlight felt incredible. I could almost feel it as a physical thing touching my body.

When I was walking quickly, I could almost imagine the path I would take. I could feel the momentum of my body. This part is hard to describe.

Since then, nothing new happened, and it started to fade at around T:1.30. It was definitely still there, but not as intense. It lingered for a total of about 5 hours, and faded very, very gradually.

Overall, Iím very happy I took it. I had a lot of personal realizations about things I need to change about myself, and realizations about life in general. I donít know if I could do it more than once or twice a year though, because if how intense it felt to me, but I will definitely do it again eventually.

As far as a hangover, I didnít experience one.
As far as a hangover, I didnít experience one.
I went to work at 8:30 the next morning and worked until 8 at night. I did feel very, very tired and somewhat groggy, but I never once felt depressed, anxious, or anything else like that. If anything, it left me with a positive feeling that I will continue to hold on to.

Exp Year: 2013ExpID: 101302
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Nov 12, 2019Views: 575
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MDMA (3) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Glowing Experiences (4)

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