Citation: Fatally. "Been There Done That: An Experience with Heroin (exp101347)". Erowid.org. Aug 19, 2020. erowid.org/exp/101347
I've never written about any of my drug experiences before, so forgive me if I leave out important details regarding this experience. In addition, my memory of this event, for obvious reasons you'll discover, is quite hazy.
I had a friend. We'll call her C. She, and most people around her, though I hate this term, would describe her as a functional drug addict. She went to work on time every day and paid her bills, though didn't save any money as it all went into her drugs of choice, which were Heroin and Methamphetamines. I knew this about her and wanted to gain some more experience with drugs so I went to her. The first time we got together alone, she injected something of a 'speedball' and prepared a small to moderate dose of methamphetamines for me via insufflation, but that's another story (that didn't have the same repercussions or negative outcomes as this one). All in all, for some silly reason I thought she was 'safe' and I could trust her, especially with how hygienic she was about things (brand new needle and syringe every time, sanitary habits, etc.).
Back to the experience with H. My fiance at the time was using a lot of prescription opiates (Oxycodone, Hydrocodone) that were prescribed to him for his severe back pain. He had always been curious about H. We toyed around with the idea of an experience with H shared together and finally settled upon following through with it. We contacted C and she agreed to inject the both of us. Around 9:30pm, we headed over to her place. She injected my fiance first (one of the last things I remember) and he seemed to be enjoying his high. Then, I was injected. She injected about half of what she had prepared (and what was in the syringe) and stated something like I was given less than half of what he was (though he was double my size). I remember sitting down next to her on her bed, across from my fiance on the couch. They had a small conversation about nothing of substance, and I remember them trying to get a response out of me that was more long-winded than I was providing them. Listening to my voice, I could tell I was definitely slurring but I'm not sure they noticed, as they both had injected as well. The last thing I remember was shutting my eyes as though I was really tired. My fiance said I had this dopey smile on my face.
Fast forward some random amount of time, probably 30 minutes after we had arrived. I'm on the curb outside her apartment and there are a lot of people yelling and noise and lights. I'm vomiting, all over myself. I lost my glasses at some point, too. Apparently I had overdosed and died. Luckily, my fiance had been through RN training for over 4 years altogether and he was able to resuscitate me enough to the point for the emergency ambulance to arrive. One of them injected me with Naloxone or something similar, which explained the vomiting. Then, I was carried into the ambulance to be rushed to the hospital for monitoring and fluids. One of the firefighters treated me as though I was a life-long drug addict and did not believe that it was my first-time. The one next to me in the ambulance, however, was very sweet, gentle, and kind with me. He understood what had happened and did not use hate to scare me, but rather reasoning. I thank him for that, along with my fiance for saving my life.
All in all, the experience was very embarrassing and shameful for me. I felt forced to lie to the people around me about what happened, until months later when my family discovered the truth. I feel slightly uncomfortable still when I tell new people, but it almost gives me a sense of control over the experience to be able to share what happened with people. I still feel judged though. Also, I have bills from the ambulance to this day.
In a strange way though, I'm glad it happened. It gave me a new appreciation for life and new outlook on drug use and being more careful about methods and dosages. I have no intention of ever using H again.
I wish I had more to share about the actual experience, but I didn't really get to 'feel' it out for long...I've never really been drunk (there's this phrase for me...I don't get drunk, I get sick...meaning I reach the point of getting sick before I get to actually enjoy being drunk), but that is the most comparable to me (even though I had used higher than recommended prescription doses of opiates prior to this, it was not similar for me). However, there was this feeling of euphoria rushing like a wave over me, which explains my dopey smile towards the end. I felt calm and relaxed, without a worry in the world (especially about having to work in 9 hours, d'oh). All of life's problems just seemed to disappear or not matter temporarily.
IV use on the first time especially was probably one of the stupidest decisions for me at this point, and also not being aware of what dose I was being given. This isn't really a warning so much as it is a precaution to be as educated as possible when seeking out a new experience.
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