DOSE: T+ 0:00	100 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(fresh)
T+ 1:30	100 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(fresh)
T+ 6:00	25 mg	rectal	Pharms - Promethazine	(suppository)
T+ 6:00	10 mg	rectal	2C-B
T+ 6:45	10 mg	rectal	2C-B
T+ 8:15	225 mg	IM	Ketamine
T+ 9:30	250 mg	IM	Ketamine
T+ 12:30	40 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(fresh)
T+ 13:30	40 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(fresh)
T+ 15:00	1.25 mg	oral	Pharms - Alprazolam

BODY WEIGHT:

245 lb

On a Sunday afternoon I decided to test speed paste I had recently acquired but which had only just finished drying. Perhaps because I had not been looking hard enough, finding an accurate dosage for oral administration had not been successful. I had read a couple reports that 200mg was 'too much' when an additional 200mg had been taken.

And so, I took an allergy test, orally, of 10mg. An hour later I felt fine, and was comfortable taking 100mg orally. I did not see the real attraction of the drug, except that I was sweaty and more talkative. I regained all fine motor control and didn't think my thoughts too disjointed. There was perhaps bit of 'overshare,' due to what were reduced inhibitions to social games in discussion, but nothing I was terribly concerned about.

Accordingly, wanting to see if there was 'more' to the drug, I followed up with a 100mg of cap, orally, of the same speed. Within another hour (so, about three hours in total), I simply felt more of the same, and considered the experiment a success in that I had become familiar with a new drug (never having taken speed before), and just made sure to drink water and get salts so that I could sleep before work the next day.

At this point, it was made apparent to me that I had the following day off work. I had been talking to some friends about the combination of ketamine and 2cb quite a lot lately, and had been especially intrigued by the couple reports in Karl Jansen's Ketamine: Dreams and Reality and the fact that I adore both drugs -- perhaps too much.

I felt that I had mostly lost the effects of the speed by the time I dosed ketamine, about 4-5 hours from the last oral dosage. I metered out a 225mg syringe, and a 250mg syringe, got the bedroom clean, and opened the window a touch for air. I then went to the bathroom to apply a 25mg promethazine suppository, followed by 10mg of 2cb in solution (20mg/ml, so 1/2cc).

I was quite surprised that, after 45 minutes, I did not feel the 2cb at all, and began to wonder if the solution had 'gone bad' somewhat. I had used the same solution about three weeks earlier, the same route of administration, at 15mg, and had too uncomfortable an experience. Nonetheless, after talking to a friend, I decided to dose another 10mg, same route.

Within another 45-50 minutes, I began to feel the 2cb in terms of a vague stimulant effect that was familiar but didn't have a whole lot I would describe as body load, and almost nothing visually. Being as I knew the 2cb had come up a bit, and afraid to take still more for fear of dosing too high, I decided it was time to take the first ketamine shot. Ventro gluteus, 225mg.

I felt that the ketamine came up much more quickly than I expected it to; whereas I normally have as much as two or three minutes to remove the syringe, check for blood or leaks, and so on, it felt that in less than a minute I was struggling to function carefully with the needle (such as putting the cap on it and disposing in the sharps bin).

What followed was typical ego-death stuff. I am *quite* experienced with ketamine (many hundreds of trips to ego death over 15+ years usage), so generally I am not especially surprised to get back there and it is actually quite comfortable to let go and just be in the hole again.

This time around, it was jarring. It somehow felt 'more complete.' I had been video chatting with a number of friends, while listening to Floyd's Echoes compilation, and I kept wanting to explain or try to relate what was going on -- as much as one can without much of a sense of self -- and it seemed quite crucial to describe how the music had been the mechanism driving the universe at that point; the cymbals and melodies driving the stretching and pushing of the universe we were all sort of a part of (picture a big latex sheet in which we are all tiny motes of essence trapped in the sheet, as it stretches and folds; we are all part of this, and the moving and oscillation of that sheet was, naturally, the Floyd).

I came out of the hole in what seemed to be relatively longer than normal, and tried to resume chatting with these friends just to share good will and smiles with them, to be part of the community in a more corporeal sense, rather than all of us sharing the same head. I found, however, that my laptop had locked me out. And so I stared at the green dot on the lid, and the magestic lion, and my own name staring back at me, knowing that everyone was out there in the world, on the other side of that green dot, and I felt incredibly alone. I could be watched, but I was not part of anything. And so I tried a couple more times to get a password into the dialogue, but either could not remember it, or more likely could not accurately make fingermotions at the keys.

When I was finally able to unlock the computer and talk to my friends again, I was trying desperately to communicate some of these things but wound up getting distracted by other things, and my motor skills were poor enough that I just couldn't do much but sit there and make faces at the green dot on the lid.

Things had become visual as you'd expect 20mg-ish of 2cb rectally, and there was body load, as per usual. However, there was not much I could relate to as 'a body.' Everything was appropriately a bit numb and disconnecty, but I had vague sensations of buzzing somewhere and could sense the barest tiniest bit of bruxism.

I began to come down in what I feel was less time than normal, but don't have an exact time in the log. I did look at the clock for the next dose, and it was a little more than an hour. The major effects of ketamine, intramuscularly, are gone in an hour, and I am generally up and out of the hole in about 5-10 minutes from onset. I had a little bit of difficulty administering the shot in that I could not very well feel the needle, and instead just kept my eye on how far in the needle had progressed. The gluteus is pretty forgiving in this regard.

Quickly, again, I was back in the hole, although this time I kept my eyes open the entire time. The world became a sort of series of cubicles with faces in them (which were the folks in the video chat), and again, we were all stretched across a film that composed the everything, and we were again, all bound by the rhythm that pushed and pulled, and sort of kept us flattened in that field. I again found myself wanting to communicate with people, but could not well make words with my fingers on the keyboard. I could read well enough. I found myself repeatedly being sad that they had no idea how beautiful and wonderful the universe was, that we were indeed all one, and that on the one hand, I knew that they were part of me, and the laptop, and the duvet, and that latex universe thing, and some other, tinier, part of me knew that they weren't hearing this music, that they weren't being moved through time with me. That they didn't feel this. And I felt alone at the same time as I felt part of everything.

I managed to regain a little dexterity, and got some random scratching of words down to paper, but as my body began to re-become my body, I was again distracted by sensation. A cool breeze (it was 30F out and the window was open) was blowing across my body, which had become sweaty from the 2cb and presumably the speed, and the sensation of the air across my nipples was, well, quite distracting. It felt nice, but it would disrupt the tenuous thoughts I had started to put together. The cord to the headphones coming down my chin and across my chest would do the same. As I began to remember how the 'real' universe worked, it occurred to me that talking to some people about the quality of how your nipples felt on a video chat might be a little risque or at least send the wrong message, and so I began to curtail bits of what I wanted to write, worrying that still other things fell into that category of things probably best not talked about while on drugs with people that weren't on drugs.

Within 3 hours of the first ketamine shot, I was babbling quite profusely on IRC, and recording my thoughts with a friend. Mostly this entailed my complaint that people seem to not really understand that 'the k-hole' is not just a dosage one takes; you don't simply apply 1mg/lb of ketamine and 'have been holed;' rather, it is experiential. It is something that happens to you, not something you yourself accomplish. It struck me that we, as users of entheogens/hallucinogens, aim to 'accomplish things' or hit certain marks of dosage per unit time, or whichever, and that this is just the wrong approach. I do not, however, have a good way to approach drug use such that the experience is the goal. I would imagine, with ketamine in particular, somebody else would have to be monitoring dosage and applying more as necessary because I, for one, am not capable of administering another 100mg per 15 minutes or whichever, to 'stay down in the hole.'

The other thing that confounded me was how incredibly poor computers are as a medium of communicating these experiences. Human communication has a vast richness that does not begin and end with words; rather, it includes things like body language and touch, it includes the olfactory. Had I been talking to these friends about the breeze and its effect on my nipples as they were there with me, perhaps it would not have seemed quite so forward to talk about such things. There was no way to explain the rippling motion that was coming from the music because they were not listening to it. There was a lack of shared experience, and for ketamine in particular, the sensory is an enormous part of what is happening . It is almost all context; we do not 'observe' a situation on ketamine so much as 'become the situation.' It is for that reason I love this drug.

What I told a friend as I was close to down was that people need to understand that we are not wheels in this big machine of a universe; rather, we are cogs on those wheels, in a vast machine. We do not control the things that happen, they simply happen. What is beautiful -- incredibly beautiful -- about this is that it might seem that, when everyone lets go and the universe-as-everyone does its thing, that there would be chaos. Our wheels would become out of sync and there would be mashing of gears. Quite the opposite. It is precisely when we let go, fully, and realize that we aren't in control, that we are all part of the same thing, that we are all the same person-thing, that the universe is at its most beautiful and serene.

It is important to note that this trip was as profound as my very first ketamine trip, about 14 years ago. I have not had such an experience since. The combination of 2cb and ketamine, for me, certainly requires more experimentation. I have considered an intramuscular preparation of ketamine and 2cb, but that will wait a while as I need time to think on the experience.

As I came down, and that period of lucidity at the end of a 2cb trip began to leave me, I felt that I was not finished, and I followed up with a 40mg cap of speed, orally, and one more an hour later. This did indeed allow me to get the rest of my thoughts out, and I feel it was worth it, although I was concerned about the quantity of drugs I'd taken over the last 24 hours.

In discussing the poor nature of computers as an exchange of ideas for people using drugs, a friend (sober) and I sort of came to differing points of view regarding the process. He suggested voice notes might be helpful (and indeed they have been in the paste). My response was that the problem with voice notes is that the taker-of-notes cannot reply to me, but not everybody is hearing that music right now. Maybe that is a concept worth working on a little. Clearly, he has a point, but as he is an introvert and I am quite extroverted, this is a difference in interaction. He had said that if somebody explained to him that not everyone was hearing that music or similar that it might interrupt that thought and thus deprive him of some conclusion he might have otherwise been able to arrive at in his head. The metaphor I gave for this was the forging of metal. That conversation, in my case, at the end of a trip, allowed me to forge thoughts, with people around me serving as a kind of anvil-or-hammer to make the conclusions or insights, quote, 'less absurd and nipply.'

An observation that I made right about the end of the effects of both the 2cb and ketamine was that ketamine can be tough to work with after one returns from the hole, in that it is somewhat sedating and impairs motor skills. 2cb seems to dull this effect. That is, I found myself more able to express my thoughts, more able to use a keyboard, and better able to compose ideas to share the experience with people. For contrast, without the 2cb, I wind up forming thoughts like I WAS A MOUNTAIN, and we go nowhere. I think this is a marvelous benefit of the combination. Some of this may have been the amphetamine, but obviously a very small part.

Throughout the experience I had been sipping diluted gatorade, and got about 2L of water in over the experience from the first dose of speed to going to sleep. I also made myself eat two pieces of bread with butter before going to sleep.

I found it tough to sleep for obvious reasons, and took 1.25mg of alprazolam and wound up sleeping for eighteen hours. I awoke refreshed and quite pleased, as one can often be after a marvelous trip.

This is certainly up there on my list of top-dozen trips, and I will be doing this again.

0:00 100mg amphetamine paste, orally
1:30 100mg amphetamine paste, orally
6:00 25mg promethazine, rectal (for 2cb nausea)
6:00 10mg 2cb, rectal
6:45 10mg 2cb, rectal
8:15 225mg ketamine, intramuscular
9:30 250mg ketamine, intramuscular
12:30 40mg amphetamine paste, oral
13:30 40mg amphetamine paste, oral
15:00 1.25mg alprazolam

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 101789
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 35
Published: Oct 30, 2018	Views: 5,477
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Ketamine (31), 2C-B (52) : Alone (16), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)