Citation: Anomylous. "A Peculiar Little World: An Experience with 25C-NBOMe & Cannabis (exp101991)". Erowid.org. Apr 27, 2014. erowid.org/exp/101991
I wasn't planning on writing this up, but I feel like this might be useful for other people. I took this substance to explore what my mind can do, and to learn whatever I can find to learn from it; I feel like I've accomplished this, though it took several tries over several weeks at several doses. Overall my opinion of this drug is more negative than positive, but I certainly wouldn't undo having ever taken it. I accomplished exactly what I wanted with this drug, and learned exactly what I think I wanted to learn, or, at least something of the same nature as what I wanted.
I acquired the blotters a couple weeks before my seventeenth birthday from an online vendor. They were smaller than I expected, being about one-half of a centimeter squared. They were advertised as containing 1.1mg each, and as each sheet appeared to be 200x200 blotters, the error on each one should be very small. My previous drug experience includes a lot of marijuana, mushrooms, DXM, and alcohol if that one counts. I feel like I'm leaving something off, but I can't quite think of what it would be... The eighth of mushrooms were very un-introspective; I really just felt like there was a hurricane going on in my head preventing me from thinking, and I couldn't focus enough on sensations for them to make much sense. I felt generally emotionless, except that I knew it was a very significant thing to be happening to me. I had no hallucinations except for patterns on a wall melting, and neither lighting nor coloring changed. It was all perceptual, not sensational. That was another story, though.
Each of these will be briefer than they could be. I didn't expect to write about them and my memory of the actual events are all either faded or gone. The purpose of this document is to describe the effects that I experienced at various doses with varying tolerance.
I got home from school and I didn't have work, and I had just gotten the blotters earlier in the day. I wanted to take them alone, so I took one blotter and stuck in between my gum and upper lip and I waited. I swallowed the tabs and saliva after about 40 minutes.
I went into this with the mindset that I could handle it. I knew that no matter what happened, everything would be Okay. Even if I did start having a bad trip, I knew I could control myself enough to get back. If this weren't my mindset, it wouldn't have been what happened.
I noticed the effects to start to take place in about 30 minutes. In every subsequent trip, the come up was faster than the one before. I first noticed that I was slightly confused, and the word 'blunted' came to mind to describe the feeling. My thoughts were blunted. It was very mild at first, and it became more and more intense over the next hour. I could still function completely normally, but my thoughts were definitely starting to fall apart. It got harder and harder to think, and normal thoughts started to become more abstract.
About an hour after ingestion, I started noticing very faint visuals such as colors in my peripheral. It was about thirty minutes later that things started to get a bit more interesting. My mind started to open up. The pressure between the sides and back of my head that I had mistaken earlier for confusion was really my mind opening up to let go of its representation of reality that it creates. My mind felt as though it was opening up, to finally accept ideas I had always assumed impossible for humans to understand. As this opening up feeling intensified, it became very electric. I felt very electric and stimulated, and it was almost orgasmic--it was certainly much more intense than an orgasm.
Over the next hour (t+1:30-t+2:30) my field of vision became much less 'solid,' like it didn't have to be the way that it was. I understood that it was all in my head and it was just my imagination. There was absolutely no basis for anything I experienced--it could be anything and I could still experience it and my brain could still make sense out of it, so long as there was order to be made sense of. I was just a biological process that had gone its entire life without realizing just what reality really looked like, but now I could see it. Without the human ideas of space and time, or of the things we learn from society to think, my mind was completely open for the first time in my life.
Visually, there was a sort of purple aura covering most outlines. Purple probably isn't the best word to describe its appearance, but that's the closest approximation I can come up with. The patterns on the walls were impossible to focus on, but if I could have focused on them, I suspect I would have watched them all blend together. The normal visual static became much more intense, and in the center horizontal part of my vision, the individual dots took on entire shapes, such as hooks and crescents. Some of those shapes formed patterns which represented ideas. The same patterns would occur over my whole field of vision, but they only took their shape from what was near the center of my vision. Things in my peripheral would move and things just looked a bit off in general.
Overall, I had expected much more from my dose. The next night would be my next chance for awhile and I was eager, so I tripled my dose, yes, to 3.3mg. [Erowid Note: 3.3 mgs of 25C-NBOMe is considered an extremely high dose, see 25C-NBOMe Dose Chart]
It was probably one of the stupidest things I've ever done, but I did it. I had assumed without even thinking about it that I must have mistaken the doses of 25I- and 25C-NBOMe, so 3.3mg was relatively safe. Also, I considered that I had a tolerance, so it was all good. I stuck three hits under my tongue and waited. I decided I'd play this Start Wars RTS I had only played once before while I waited for the come-up to really start, because that had taken over an hour the day before.
I was tired this time and I wasn't too sure I should even do it. I was a bit hesitant because I was tired and had just gotten off work, but this was a good time to do it. I wouldn't have this good of a chance for awhile, so I just did it. I was already tired and had a hard time controlling my thoughts and emotions, and I was worried it would go badly. If I hadn't gone into it with this mindset, it wouldn't have gone this way.
About 15 minutes in I noticed that I felt a bit confused, which threw me off because it had taken about 45 minutes to get to this point the day before. I figured it was the dosage, but even small doses (<500ug) come up faster than that for me now. After about 30 minutes I went ahead and swallowed the tabs. The game I was playing became very difficult to follow, though I could still play it perfectly fine. It was very weird, however, to watch as my hero guy (in a campaign) just got more and more followers because I wasn't too sure where they all came from. I remembered getting some of them, but it was very confusing. I didn't understand the game, but I was able to finish the mission. The same effects as before manifested about twice as fast as the time before and then continued just a bit more. The aura from before was much more intense, and my vision was just... Psychedelic. I don't know how else to describe it. There weren't fractals or shifting colors, things were just very psychedelic.
A song (About You by XXYYXX) was playing in my head, and just how it felt was very similar to (the same as) having a song stuck in your head. It was a bit louder, though, and it sort of wound its way through everything. I didn't really feel like I was /me/ so much as I was almost part of everything, because, after all, my experience of reality is all in my head. It is all me. The song wound its way through everything and was part of everything, but it wasn't very intense and even after about two and a half hours this wasn't what I wanted. I was still in reality, though my mind was open to accept unreality.
The experience was still very underwhelming and not what I wanted, so I grabbed some buds and started smoking. It wasn't that good of weed, and I believe I smoked one bud, though its size was impossible to judge. One hit in I instantly knew this was about to take me a bit closer to where I wanted to be. One hit in everything changed just a bit and distorted. Bong rip after bong rip took me farther and farther away. My whole field of vision started to take on a fun house mirror effect. My vision was split up vertically into rectangles, every other one of which shifted up while the one before shifted down. My mind was FUCKED UP and I just remember thinking over and over that this is incredible. The experience was unlike anything I had ever had any idea COULD happen. Reality was falling apart. I sat there for probably close to an hour, though time made very little sense. I watched a clock for awhile, and it never quite moved at the speed I thought it would. If I thought an hour had passed, only a minute had; if I thought a minute had passed, it was really an hour. I remember thinking to myself that if my parents walked in my room at any point during the night, I really didn't know what I'd do. I couldn't remember if they'd be upset or if they'd want some to. I couldn't imagine why they'd be upset but I also couldn't quite remember what normal reality was like. I knew that it would be impossible for me to talk to them because I couldn't even think of what kind of things sober people thought/talked about. It was probably all very trivial and I couldn't imagine getting caught up in something so silly.
I stood up to find my headphones and phone. As I moved through the space around me inside the room (or as the space moved around me as I passed through the room) I encountered some problem with my life or with my mind. I saw my phone and headphones but they were under a plastic bag. If I moved the plastic bag, people would wake up and know I'm tripping so I knew I had to be careful, and I knew this would be a valuable experience. As I contemplated the problem I had with life, I also tried to figure out how to get my headphones. As I worked at it and it started to make sense, my other problem started to clear up, and I solved both of them at the same time. It felt very relieving to have solved those problems, as they both felt very difficult, and I felt very accomplished.
The music had already become EXTREMELY intense since I smoked, so it really wasn't necessary to use my phone for music. The same song played in my head forwards and backwards over and over (if one plays it backwards, a certain sound in it becomes words) and it was just so intense. As I listened to the music, I started becoming anxious. Reality wasn't right at all. My brain was all fucked up and I knew it. I had taken a huge dose and I just realized it. I was going to die. I knew I wasn't and I told myself I was fine, but I just could not shake that anxiety. I realized that this drug was a poison and I just willingly ingested it. I was probably never going to come out of this (I haven't completely yet. I don't feel constrained to thoughts pertaining to reality anymore) and I had no one but myself to blame.
My mind was falling apart. Not just my mind, but reality was just gone. I didn't feel like a human anymore. I didn't feel like an individual but rather a single part of an unquantifiable collective of consciousnesses. All my senses blurred together, and thoughts no longer felt like a different kind of thing than other sensations. Cognition is a sensation, composed of a complex combination of individual sensations, none of which had any meaning. Meaning is created by our brain associating different sensations with other sensations. It all made so much sense and it still does, but it was terrifying. My vision was flashing, but I think that's just because it was hard to focus on with on the other sensations in the same place, as my head-space had shrunk to an individual point. I was aware of just one thing at once and it all ran through my head so fast. I didn't enjoy this anymore and I just wanted it to end. I decided I'd lie down in bed and try to sleep so that if I did die, it would be in my sleep.
As I laid in bed, my body started to become much more uncomfortable. The body load was already incredibly intense ever since smoking, but not it was just unbearable to the point of being painful. I felt tense, like my muscles and tightening and my veins were shrinking. I could feel all my veins all over my body shutting, and even the largest veins on my arms were tiny strings. I was extremely cold and I couldn't get warm, my extremities were tingling and numb, and my arm and leg muscles all hurt. I was shaking violently and I couldn't control it. I was scared and I wanted it to end. I knew I was probably going to die.
At one point I faded into another state. At first I thought it was death, but then I realized it must be sleep. I knew that sleep couldn't possibly be the normal kind of thing it is if wakefulness were like this. I knew it had to be a totally new experience and I couldn't escape this without just waiting it out. Eventually, at about 4AM, I finally fell asleep. I had taken the substance at about 9:30PM. At about 3 I felt my mind change from tripping to not tripping in about a second. It was a distinct change in how my thoughts worked, and as soon as it happened I knew I was fine.
The next morning I was still out of it. I accidentally mixed up words when I talked without noticing it, and it was just difficult to focus on anything. That blunted confusion was still there. I think the experience would have been smooth and enjoyable if I hadn't smoked, though it was have still been very underwhelming.
I experimented a few more times with 2.2mg with no tolerance, 1.1mg and 0.55mg with tolerance. I took lower doses with no tolerance and then I didn't touch it few probably about a month.
I took 1.1mg and felt the familiar confusion within five minutes. The confusion was close to its peak after about 20 minutes and after an hour I plateaued for until about three hours after ingestion, when I decided to smoke. I only took a few hits, but the trip took on a very surreal and dreamlike feel. It had the familiar extremely intense body load, with all its discomforts. After the 3.3mg trip I couldn't shake that feeling that my veins would collapse and I'd die, and I think all the actual pain was imaginary. I still felt like I was going to die, but I was able to stay a bit more in reality than before.
The only thing that really stands out about this experience is pretty much what I took the substance for. I went to the bathroom to pee and then I looked in the mirror. My cheeks were covered in what seemed to be painted spots of various colors. This was the first and only time I've actually hallucinated, and it was kind of strange. I felt very fragile and like this hallucination was a sign that my brain wasn't getting enough blood. I went to sit down (which I also didn't really like because it felt like I was cutting off blood flow to my butt by putting my body weight on it) and stared at the wall. It dawned on my that I wasn't in my normal reality so much as I was in the dream world. I thought to myself that this was a very peculiar little world to have just found myself and I wondered just how I'd gotten myself there. I knew I had taken a drug, but why did I take the drug? I knew this was going to happen but I didn't think it really would. I thought to myself that it was so weird just to be right there in that state, just sitting on my bed dreaming while I'm wide awake. It was so weird, but this is exactly what I wanted. This is why I had taken drugs. The remainder of the night went similar to the 3.3mg trip.
Last night, about three months since the last time I've touched this stuff, I decided to take about 125ug. I gave it about an hour to take its course before I took another 125ug. It was mild but it was there and at points it was pretty strong. Nowhere near comparable to the 3.3mg trip. I had no visuals aside from the normal loosening of vision (less solid and absolute) and some motion in my peripheral. I was able to enjoy it without getting scared of dying and I feel great because of it. I feel like I've regained the control of my mind that other trips had made me lose. I felt like I had lost a lot of control over my own mind because my thoughts were much more loose and often were composed of the same kinds of unreal-ism that they were made of while tripping. I feel like I have control now, though.
I know that these doses are much higher than most people take with less intensity. At first I assumed that the blotters probably didn't contain 1.1mg each, however, friends who took the same blotters reported much more at lower doses. Two people said we took 1/2 of a blotter, it was the worst night of their lives because they were FUCKED up and just didn't know what was going on. I was still /me/ at 3.3mg. As my experience of mushrooms was magnitudes below what many claim to have experienced at the dose I had taken, I think I might just have a higher natural tolerance to seretoninogenic drugs than most people. I strongly encourage you not to take 1.1mg your first time using this substance, and I even more strongly advise you not to take 3.3mg EVER.
This document does not come close to describing the entire effects of the drug. There's much I've forgotten and more I don't have time to write, so here this is. Be very careful when you take this kind of drug. It's not a toy--it's dangerous and has the potential to be extremely difficult. I didn't see or hear anything that scared me, and I knew I wasn't going to die, but the intensity of everything and the way that it was, I hated, as soon as the idea that I would die crept in.
Another thing I want to add is that during one of these trips I tried writing down my thoughts. It was extremely difficult because I could not focus. I thought I kept writing about the same thing, but after I would read it I noticed that it didn't make any sense. Here's the only thing I have left:
'it's intersting to note that I had the thought but it feels like I've transcended beyond it a he result of the thought actually mattering, because I've fully experienced what the most fundemental my mind is falling apart'
This was an interesting substance that I will likely try again. I think I can handle that state of mind again.
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