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Heroin Helped Save My Life
Heroin
by Angela
Citation:   Angela. "Heroin Helped Save My Life: An Experience with Heroin (exp102169)". Erowid.org. May 19, 2016. erowid.org/exp/102169

 
DOSE:
  IV Heroin

BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb


Most people view heroin as a drug that ruins lives and tears families apart. Granted, I've hardly told people about my daily heroin usage; however, heroin was the one thing that brought my life on track.

Before using heroin, I became suicidally depressed. I had to quit school because of financial reasons, I lost my job, and the love of my life left me. Because I moved to a new city and hardly knew anyone, I felt friendless and deeply alone. I began to loathe myself, and before I knew it, I began stepping into the world of drugs.

The first time I used heroin, I expected it to be how it was portrayed in the movies. But, it was entirely different. For my first time, I used black tar, and prepared it by diluting it in water and then snorting that liquid. I remember just sitting there, and then suddenly it was as if every negative emotion and anxiety I had felt before withered away. I found it better than the anti-anxiety pills that I was once prescribed. Instead of just knocking me out, it was like heroin attacked the problem at the source. It was not like cocaine, there was no intense euphoria, but it was the first moment in a long time that I felt at peace with myself.
there was no intense euphoria, but it was the first moment in a long time that I felt at peace with myself.


After that experience, I began using heroin habitually. When I was high, I began to think much more positively, and was much more focused on tasks. My intense insomnia went away, and I found a new job (of which I still have, and love), and did well in community college classes. For the longest time I snorted what I called ďheroin waterĒ, but it always made me highly nauseous, especially if any of it would trickle down the back of my throat.

Nowadays I inject, which I find much better. It hits much faster, there is less nausea, and is overall more intense. The bad part about it is how my arms begin to look. I try to wear sleeves as much as possible, because the veins in the bends of my arms appear engorged and they are deep blue right beneath the skin. I always use black tar heroin, as I find it more potent and more psychedelic. Dreams on heroin are always beautiful and abstract, with rich waterfalls of color and warmth.

Heroin has caused me to take better care of myself, sleep better, and accomplish my responsibilities and goals. I feel more empathetic when talking to other people on it, and when I started using, others noticed how much happier and hard working Iíd become. I find it hard to believe that itís easy to overdose on heroin, especially black tar, because I only need about a fortieth (yeah, 1/40) of that amount to be flying high. I donít think itís possible to find better medicine than a little dose of black tar heroin (moderation is key). Surprisingly, despite these many months of using, I've been able to quit for weeks at a time without any withdrawals. Of course, this might be contributed to the fact that I always get high quality product.

Also, an important note to anyone contemplating injecting: always remember to pull back on the syringe and see if you are drawing blood and see that it comes up slowly (as opposed to high pressure); otherwise you may be injecting into soft tissue or even an artery (very dangerous).

Exp Year: 2013ExpID: 102169
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 19 
Published: May 19, 2016Views: 3,683
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Heroin (27) : Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Retrospective / Summary (11), Alone (16)

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