Citation: elesd33. "Over a Year Later: An Experience with Alprazolam & Clonazepam (exp102549)". Erowid.org. Dec 29, 2020. erowid.org/exp/102549
A Year With Alprazolam Powder
The doses described in this report are potentially life threatening. The amount taken is beyond a heavy dose and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Doses such as this have been known to cause hospitalizations and/or deaths. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
I will try to keep this short and focused on my experience over the past 15 months of using Alprazolam (Xanax) powder. It should be noted that I am male, 26, and for the better part of the past 11 years, have had a history of drug addiction (poly-drug user -- mainly opiates like oxycodone and heroin, however). I have been diagnosed with a handful of psychiatric disorders. I only believe a couple of them are accurate. I finally found a good psychiatrist that listened to my concerns by the time I was 22 and eventually got on a prescription for Clonazepam (Klonopin) for Social Anxiety Disorder & Agoraphobia. As of the early autumn, my dose was recently bumped up to 4mg/day after being at 3mg/day for the majority of my time on it. It's important to note that I took my Clonazepam as prescribed during my experience with the Alprazolam (Xanax) powder.
A little over 1 year ago, a friend of mine came across a source that could acquire many different 'pharmaceutical-grade' powders. Benzodiazepines were the cheapest and we decided to play around with 1 gram (1,000 milligrams) of Alprazolam as we figured it was the best bang for our buck. Back then it was just a significantly cheaper and easier way of procuring a benzodiazepine to potentiate our opiate highs. Eventually we invested in a milligram scale and turned to dealing it in its powder form while still making a very generous profit, even when split 50/50.
My friend was not working or going to school at the time; a waste of a brilliant mind. When someone can take physics at the college level their freshman year of high school and ace it without really applying themselves, to me that speaks volumes! Anyway, he found out a way to dose the Alprazolam powder (we were told it was 99.56% pure and because of the source, we had no reason to believe otherwise) more accurately and in a much more discrete way. Using Propylene Glycol, he was able to make it into an injectable solution where he could inject candy with doses that were lower than what our fussy scale could weigh before deciding to reset itself. He was able to procure the PG and I was able to procure the syringes for free, we bought different kinds of gummy-like candies (e.g. sour patch kids) in bulk online and make candies anywhere between 0.25mg-5mg in one piece of candy. Our costs were minimal on all fronts compared to the profits we were making so we had a nice set up going. People in the area really liked our product and no one had done anything stupid with it yet.
I had a falling out with my friend for a couple months over other pharmaceutical powders he was buying, using, and selling. I did not mind benzodiazepines, he bought fentanyl against my wishes, and he had bought lab equipment to convert Morphine Sulphate (which he had also purchased against my wishes) into #4 heroin that he was able to get to 66.8% purity just by reading books. I wanted out and the source was his. Since we were friends I told him that I didn't mind selling the Alprazolam powder for him but other than that, I wanted nothing to do with his operation anymore. We split amicably and I got a large chunk of powder to work with on my own. 3 months later his 'lab' was all over the local news and he was arrested. I was obviously paranoid so I just laid low and focused on my job and used the vast majority of the powder he had given to me as severance. Since Alprazolam is not soluble in water, I had to make do with Everclear (95% grain alcohol) to dose myself. Unfortunately, Everclear is a solid 2.5-3 hour drive over the state line in one way or another and I was too lazy to get some. I couldn't exactly ask him where he got the PG so I was left to my own devices. I found that taking a toothpick, wetting it on my tongue, and dabbing the tip of it in the powder felt like the equivalent of 1-2 milligrams. Anecdotally I had heard the same thing from other people so I figured this was OK. Needless to say, like all drug addictions, it starts out as curiosity and occasional and gains steam until it turns into a freight train bearing down the tracks with no brakes. I could take about 2-4mg/day (assumed) and still feel that benzo effect that, as a person who has been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorders since childhood, made me feel social and adventurous without feeling impaired.
Interactions between opioids and other drugs can be very dangerous. By some estimates, over 95% of opioid-related deaths involve an opioid combined with at least one additional medication or drug, most commonly a sedative or depressant (alcohol, benzodiazepines, or another opioid).]
BIG mistake. At my worst I was easily taking 40 milligrams/day and even with 90mg of Clonazepam at my disposal every 30 days, the withdrawal was way worse than anything I could have imagined. Despite being off opiates, the beast still beat inside my head as an opiate addict and I would usually take about 2-4mg of my leftover Suboxone (orally & occasionally intranasally) along with the equivalent of 3-4 drinks to enhance the effects when my tolerance hit the roof. DO NOT DO THIS. I cannot stress this enough! I am lucky that I already had severe social anxiety disorders and a dependence to my 3mg/day of Clonazepam at the time in addition to an unusually high alcohol tolerance (must be genetic) in addition to a very high tolerance to opiates & opioids from years of abuse. Whether it's trying to 'guess' my dose of alprazolam powder (my scale was still fussy and anything below 10mg was inaccurate), mixing with opiates, and/or alcohol -- I was dancing with the devil. I had bruises and cuts al over my body from falling and bouncing into things, my sense of time went out the window to the point where a 4 hour period of time only felt like 10 minutes, and the memory loss -- it is still awful over a year later
my sense of time went out the window to the point where a 4 hour period of time only felt like 10 minutes, and the memory loss -- it is still awful over a year later
A couple friends of mine had a different, slightly more-expensive source that they could procure Alprazolam powder from. For the past several months I have been dealing with them and while the source says his product is 99.9% pure, either he/she is lying or weather (while in transit) diminishes the purity of the powder. I had it privately tested and it came out to about 91.4% purity -- which is still good, I suppose. I still sell some to make money when I can but I mostly use it for my own personal use since I really do not do anything else. As depressing as the reality is, I have been in in-patient rehab facilities and have a degree in a field that deals with several mental health issues. I know that there are only 3 ways out of a benzodiazepine addiction that has gotten out of control: 1) A very slow, steady, and painful taper (often with a a longer-acting benzodiazepine or a barbiturate). 2) Cold turkey/non-benzo remedies for withdrawal symptoms that maybe works for the first week or two out of the several months of pain one experiences from withdrawal from this chemical. 3) Death.
I have lost a few friends to the 3rd option because the first 2 were ineffective and/or doctors were too afraid to cooperate with someone with a history of drug addiction. It's all about covering their asses and getting paid to these people anymore; which is sad considering they are the ones who usually start us off on this path in the first place. I have met OG's with more empathy for their customers than these doctors pushing these narcotics for big pharma.
After almost 15 months of playing with benzodiazepines -- with Alprazolam powder being front and center, I have decided to stick with taking it because it is cheaper than my clonazepam prescription without my precious insurance (american healthcare, am i right?). I have been able to work out a schedule where I can take not even half of my 4mg/day of Clonazepam in the mornings for work (lasts longer and doesn't 'fuck me up') and then take a few milligrams of alprazolam powder and that keeps me straight. I might have a beer or two or a bit of whisky but I make sure that is far and away from any benzodiazepines I have taken or plan to take in the next several hours if I can help it. I hope I can just get back to where the prescription for Clonazepam @ 4mg/day is enough or more than I need to function and be a contributing member to society. I don't want to kill myself or die because of these mistakes I have made. My kidneys are already pretty bad from what I assume is the powder. Compared to a check-up I had to have a year ago, I had another one recently and the doctor said my kidneys looked awful. He is distant family and knows I do drugs so he told me to try and stop whatever I was doing or else I would need dialysis in another year at my current rate. That was a wake-up call!
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