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From Zen State to Looping Dimensional Horror
Amanitas - A. pantherina
Citation:   SomeRandomGuy. "From Zen State to Looping Dimensional Horror: An Experience with Amanitas - A. pantherina (exp102670)". Erowid.org. Jun 11, 2020. erowid.org/exp/102670

T+ 0:00
1 cap oral Amanitas (dried)
  T+ 2:30 3 g oral Amanitas (tea)
  T+ 5:00 20 g oral Amanitas (dried)
So I recently purchased some amanita pantherina online, I picked them up at the post office and when I got back there was a strong feeling of rain in the air, that almost purifying feeling I feel when, before, and after a storm hits. It felt like the right night to try some.

I opened up the bag and was immidiately drawn to one particular mushroom that looked to be the strongest in the batch, it almost seemed to call to me, so I ate it.

About an hour and a half later I was feeling some effects, but nothing much so I got around 3 or 4 grams and made myself some tea, as I got to my computer and sat down the first one I ate started to fully kick in, I was surprised as to the intensity of the effect experienced with just that one mushroom, I put off drinking the tea for a while and instead simply enjoyed the effect I was already experiencing, which was a strong heightening of my spiritual perception, as well as a very calm meditive-like state of mind, my patience and focus were sent sky-high and I was surprised to find no impairment, I actually found myself able to perform tasks more effectively due to a complete focus on said tasks with little to no outside thoughts impairing that focus.

Well around this time a friend of mine, R, showed up and we drove out to Burger King where a mutual friend, D, was working, they were understaffed so we ended up helping clean for some free sodas/burgers. Again I was surprised to notice that if anything the effects allowed me to perform tasks more efficiently, I'd focus in on what I was doing intensely and completely and just kind of lock into a medative trance, the manager was none the wiser and was actually fairly impressed with my work.

Well around this time I ended up drinking that tea, when it did kick in the effects were essentially the same, but intensified. R and D both ended up staying the night at my place and as the night drew on I'd eat the occasional mushroom. It was a very good experience, up until:

This next bit was done in a moment of ABSOLUTE stupidity on my part, I was foolish, instead of just accepting the already perfectly good experience I was having, I wanted to take this substance to it's fullest depths, well, I got it, I ended up consuming about 24 grams of dried panthercaps that night. It was the first time I've ever been that foolish with psychedelics and it is definitely going to be the last.

I went out to my Jeep to be alone for a while and that's where I ended up eating nearly the entire bag I had bought. I felt myself ascending higher and higher and experienced what I can only describe as a dark, predatory kind of enlightenment, I felt my entire essence harden and compress like rock, higher and higher I ascended until I started to notice that I was unable to remain absent of thought, which somehow seemed vital to my upward continuation (which was happening with or without the ideal frame of mind)I knew I was definitely going to need someone to watch me, I went into my room where R and D were hanging out and passed out on my bed. And then I experienced it, the barrier of thought was broken through, and I was 'sucked up' into the fullness of the trip.

I don't remember much of the following hours aside from the moment I experienced what can only be described as infinity and went from being mostly unresponsive to jumping up exclaiming 'Holy fuck!' 'I just experienced infinity!' 'Holy fuck!' 'Holy fuck!', which was met with amusement by R and D. I know during this period in time I experienced a lot of mind blowing and amazing things, but my sober mind can't even begin to comprehend them, aside from a couple of incredibly bizzarre flashes of memory I can't even begin to try and form into words.

And then there was the comedown, which comprises about 95% of everything that was comprehensible enough to form into memory, around the time it began I remember going outside to smoke a cigarette (this was the only time during the full blown trip I was actually somewhat conscious of my surroundings,) which I failed at. I reached in my pocket to get the cig- no ligte- no I need the ciga- reality kept 'blipping' forward and I couldn't focus on anything. R helped me light it and put it in my mouth where I ended up trying to put the lit part back in my mouth after taking a drag off of it. I noticed that I had forgotten everything I have ever known except for what was immidiately infront of me, I believed it would be like this permanantly until I relearned it, I leapt up, babbling on about this 'discovery' and trying to relearn everything 'This is concrete!' 'And those are trees!' which was again met with amusement by R and D up until I had another 'discovery', this was insanity, and I was doomed to repeat this cycle forever, I now understood what it was like to go insane, I wasn't coming back. Somewhere around that point I died (or at least I thought I died) my essence drifted out and the vibrational frequency of reality 'flipped'. 'This is it.' I thought 'This is the end of my life, I'll never see my friends and family again.' Luckally I didn't appear to panic, from the perception of people around me nor in my own delirious perception, I'm very practiced at going with whatever I experience and accepting it rather then panicking, and if not for this things may have gone a LOT worse then they did. Here is where I began to experience constant deaths and rebirths through alternate dimension after alternate dimension, I experienced it like this:

Everyone that has ever lived (in any particular dimension) were all one soul experiencing itself from a vast sea of different lifetimes/perceptions, with each life the soul would increase in age until it hit the oldest of the batch, at which point that soul would reach full enlightenment and the vibratory frequency of that dimension would flip and the soul would then start out as a young soul on the oppositte frequency, the youngest of the young, work it's way to the oldest of the old, and then the frequency would flip again. Each time the flip would happen, it was realized by the soul that time essentially did not exist, an incredible sense of enlightenment would occour which I can't even begin to form into words, and it would keep on going like this infinitely. I would experience this, time and time again, dimension after dimension after dimension, endless lifetimes came and went
dimension after dimension after dimension, endless lifetimes came and went
and the more I came down they began to get more and more twisted and horrific in ways I can't begin to describe, one of the more comprehensible ones was a dimension where a deep-cutting psychological, physical, and emotional pain was the core of its foundation on both of it's oppositte frequencies.

During the comedown I was apparently convulsing violently quite frequently, I'd keep trying to get up and walk around (whereas while I was coming up and during the peak I mostly just sat there) except that I couldn't really walk, I'd take a couple steps and my whole body would give out on me, I'd go dead-weight and collapse to the ground. (Though while looking back on it I do remember a lot of this, my memory of it is heavily clouded in delirium and I didn't recognize anyone as being people I knew, nor did I recognize them as even being from this dimension.)

Somewhere around 10am the next morning I came back to, sitting in R's truck and he was asking me questions like my name, the year I was born, the current year, which I apparently got wrong, though I remember answering them correctly (I was still somewhat delirious.) At this point I managed to successfully walk across the yard back to my house, though with some difficulty, sat down at my computer where I spent 20 minutes or so trying to bring up youtube and look up a song. My whole field of vision was like one massive blind-spot, though I could technically see, I couldn't see with any degree of accuracy, and my perception was still 'blipping' forward a lot. I sat down on my bed and talked to R for a while, by about 11 I was still feeling the effects but I was fully coherient and able to function normally.

At the time I am typing this out this happened two days ago. All in all, I will definitely be buying these mushrooms again, but I'll be pacing myself with them this time. The experience was, at times, incredible beyond anything I've ever experienced, and at other times horrific and hellish again beyond anything I have ever experienced. However, difficulty breeds self improvement and I definitely feel like I've taken the experience and used it to improve myself, I feel like I'm better all around.

As for a rough timeline:

7:00pm- First cap eaten.
9:00pm- Made tea, full effects of first cap kick in.
10:30pm- Began drinking the tea.
11:30pm- Finished drinking the tea.
1:30am- Feeling full effects from the tea, eating small amounts of the mushrooms here and there.
2:00am- Went to jeep, ate the majority of the mushrooms.
(Perception of time no longer in tact at this point.)
10:00am- Became fully aware of and able to interact with reality.
11:00am- Able to function normally.
1:00pm- Effects worn off fully.

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 102670
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jun 11, 2020Views: 1,928
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Amanitas (5) : General (1), Health Problems (27), Mystical Experiences (9), Guides / Sitters (39), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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