Citation: James TreeWalker. "Came Away With a Commitment: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp102671)". Erowid.org. Sep 9, 2018. erowid.org/exp/102671
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First Experience with 25I-NBOMe
69 year old White male, 40+ years experience (in varying amounts) with ayahuasca, psilocybins, marijuana, San Pedro, plus other, chemical ingestants (LSD, 2CB, K, and some others).
Because I was embarking on a new experience using 25I-NBOMe, I went and read through much of the material, including anecdotes. The description in person (my source) was overall much more positive than what I read among experience reports; however, my trust in the source was exceptional. I had decided to take only ½ of the small square tab, a choice I decided was a good one for me. I held the paper on the inside of my lower lip for well over an hour.
At some point I also smoked some pot, knowing it might kick the 25I-NBOMe into overdrive, but I was also aware of the long list of positive benefits of marijuana that has been reported in other source material. So, apart from the high, I have also been keen about the benefits for me.
I started to feel the 251-NBOMe very soon, even before using the marijuana. The build up was actually pleasantly gradual, as was the landing at the end.
But it’s what happened in the middle that was fairly astounding to me.
In the beginning, the erotic component was exceptional. My partner and I took the 25I-NBOMe with that in mind, though I took ½ tab but partner took 1 whole tab. I had as much fun on this as on anything else, and at one point commented out loud with my partner that I can see why this would be a good party drug. But that wasn’t the amazing part. After the sexual escapades were over, and my partner went off to watch TV, I went back into the bedroom by myself. The TV was simply too much input into my system, and I felt that I wasn’t yet done with whatever the intoxication was going to lead to.
It was when I was alone that an entirely new level of experience happened.
I found I could allow up into my awareness (I’m not sure I was actively calling them) another person with such vividness that it was as if they were in the room with me. I didn’t actually “see” them, as if hallucinating. I could see them in my mind’s eye and feel them close to me. I was aware of being in some meaningful, substantial relation to their “persona,” and able to address whatever truths there were to be spoken, truths that I had not thought much about before then.
So, for one man, I was able to “talk with him” (or my projection of him, or addressing that part of myself that was aware of my observations of him from previous encounters). I was able to say, and said out loud into the empty space, “Yes, I know how you are using your charm to draw me in. Please know I recognize this pattern in you for what it is. I am accepting you into my life with full awareness. You should know that.”
That was a sort of first level of deeper awareness. The next and deeper level followed on almost immediately.
Background: I was called on several weeks ago to open my altar to work with a guy who has had a deeply lodged pain for which there is no physical explanation. He has been to doctors, and they cannot find anything. So we knew that we were dealing with, and going to encounter, something that had taken up residence in his lower abdomen. Every time he attempts to get into the pain, he begins to howl. He started to do that during the last mushroom journey I was guiding, but he put a pillow over his face to muffle his sounds so as not to disturb the other participants. He also curtailed any release of his suffering, holding it in. If I was going to facilitate any sort of effective healing, I suggested we do another sacred mushroom ceremony, just him and me, and go into that space together and see if we couldn’t effect healing. Because we are making this journey this coming Saturday, I had already been meditating on working with him, prayers, etc.
So, as soon as the first man went out of awareness, immediately this second one showed up. And when I looked down to the affected part of his body, I was suddenly aware that what was lodged inside were not people, not past lives of his ancestors, or anything else related to his parents, his country of origin, or anything like that. What I saw was that the pain was not human. Certainly not a demon, either! I discovered he has a terrifyingly deep awareness of the earth’s tectonic forces, and that he feels the shifts of the earth’s surface and the shattering, the pain and the other disruptions of the earth in its constant creation of itself.
This was an entirely new awareness for me, that people could not only respond to natural forces (that’s well known, for example weather, coming of snow, eating various plants, heightened alert signals, hunches, etc.), but that here was someone who was so sensitive his body could be allied to shifts of the surface plates of the earth. I began to wonder about volcanoes and other such natural eruptions. Both of these (tectonic plate movement and volcanoes) involve magma, the deep core of liquid rock on top of which we all ride. So then I also began to wonder about his profound attraction to Japan (he was born in Poland). I began to see a connection between tectonic plate movement (earthquakes), volcanoes, his pain and his love of Japan and marrying a Japanese woman, with whom he feels a sacred, soul mate relationship. It occurred to me that if someone has a soul mate connection to the earth, then its movements would be felt.
And as soon as I understood that possible insight into working with him, suddenly he disappeared, and I immediately seemed to drop into a zone of awareness for which I have almost no words. It felt as if I were surrounded by, or as if I were embedded within, a diagnostic ability to see into other people
, to know what the truth of their troubles were, and perhaps an ability to facilitate their healing. I suddenly felt gripped by what I might call “shamanic insight.” [Understand that I am very reluctant to use the word “shaman” in this culture. We don’t have a shamanic culture, and I’m often suspicious of anyone using that word unless they’ve been through the actual years-long training. So I use the phrase with caution.] I was aware of a power much, much greater than I. I thought I might be able to actually call up someone intentionally and see what was going on with him or her…though I don’t do that without their permission. The feeling of compassion was not an emotion; it was something much deeper, as if I could feel the flow of nature and have accurate knowing. And in that state of deep connection, I felt an awareness….again, not sure how to word this.
It felt as if I were surrounded by, or as if I were embedded within, a diagnostic ability to see into other people
I believed, based on that experience, that whatever I touched while embedded in that orb of deep nature would touch all other aspects of nature, so that I could follow the maze of threads with some consciousness. I knew that this was opening a door that had first blown open while in Peru in the year 2000, so I felt familiar and glad to return. The orb of nature (not sure what name to call it) was dark, but absolutely full of life, of relational ontology, and of a power that was neither kind nor merciful….it just IS. And I was aware of my own requirements to be honorable and ethical in accessing this life force.
With that feeling came two other thoughts: I felt as if I now have the direct experience of what it is to be “in spirit,” and I also realized that the best thing I can do about some elements of my past is to forgive some people who did some extremely terrible things to me. So the price of knowing requires also riding the behavior that it engenders, and both the knowing and the behavior must have ethical concordance with natural forces (earth, universe, etc.). As I lay on the bed letting thoughts come up on all this, I understood that my search into philosophy, into being a medicine and altar carrier, and how I relate to my memories and life experiences, has a root far deeper into my awareness than I had been previously aware.
I remained fairly intoxicated for a long time. I took the dose about 6 PM and finally went to sleep between midnight and 1 AM. But the lessons to be learned ended after the personal reflections about forgiveness and ethics. From then on I mostly felt restless until I landed about as softly as I have from any drug.
I do have the other half of that square in my drawer. One day I will use it and see what happens.
5 Days Later:
One more lesson came today. I felt how flexible and porous the threads of relational ontology actually are, that we can make connections and move on, but that the threads remain, far more enduring than the way I might want some relationships to be, as if I ought not get stuck on a particular node, or intersection of threads, but keep fluid in order to be of service. This raised many other questions about stable relationships, but I’ll let that go for now.
I was then struck by how many people in our culture talk about their personal experience as if that is what taking these substances is really all about. And I knew that could not be true for me. I want the open doors of perception to be available in my ordinary, consensus reality when I need them to help others, so that I do not necessarily need to keep using a substance to achieve that state of awareness. I want to be able to call it up as needed.
So, I come away from 25I-NBOMe with a commitment.
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