Citation: Chubbus. "Fun While It Lasted: An Experience with Etizolam (exp102908)". Erowid.org. Aug 1, 2014. erowid.org/exp/102908
Etizolam Addiction - Fun while it lasted
I purchased 100 etizolam (Benzo-like but actually a thienodiazepine) pellets online, to help with my general anxiety and insomnia but also with the intention to have a good time every now and then with my friends. At first, I saw them as a subtle pick me up that lowered my inhibitions and left me happy go lucky without a care in the world (Far and away the happiest pseudo-benzo I have taken).
But tolerance quickly grew and I would often find myself having to pop 4mg in order to get myself to sleep, which also resulted in me sleeping into the late afternoon. The final time I took them I ingested 6mg and essentially passed out and slept for 18 hours straight. As I woke at 9 in the evening with only two pills of the hundred left, I realised now was the time to quit and hoped that just under a month of daily use was not enough to cause dependence. I was wrong.
The following week was not too bad. Terrible insomnia, pretty depressed but nothing I was too worried about. The weeks following however, things got a lot worse and I had my first panic attack.
I walked into the shower and went about my business but I felt odd, my vision was very blurred and then I felt what I can only describe as a massive amount of irrational fear and anxiety came over me and I thought I had gone fucking insane. So I ran downstairs screaming at my mum to 'help me'. She slowly calmed me down and I told her of my etizolam usage. The following days for roughly two weeks I had severe anxiety and on average 3 panic attacks a day. I thought i had ruined my fucking life.
Just over a month after I had stopped etizolam the general anxiety had completely quietened down but I still got panic attacks a few times a week. I assumed that I had benzo withdrawal syndrome or that the etizolam had caused my panic disorder to come to the surface. The panic attacks persisted for months where I had good days and bad days up to this present day (6 months drug-free). The last panic attack I had was around 3 weeks ago and I have come to accept them now as just an occasional part of my life. I'm happier now than I was when I was taking the etizolam and my life finally seems back on track.
I felt like I needed to write this experience report as there are not a lot out there, especially ones as serious as mine. I can only attribute the seriousness of my withdrawal to the short half life of the substance (around 4 hours) and also to the number I had ingested daily in such a short amount of time. I cannot compare the withdrawal of etizolam to that of benzodiazepines but for me it was the worst few months of my life that only now I am beginning to recover from.
If you plan on using etizolam proceed with extreme caution, as it fucked up my life so it could probably fuck yours up too.
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