Citation: Drank. "I Found a Better Way: An Experience with Buprenorphine / Naloxone (Suboxone) (exp102964)". Erowid.org. Jun 3, 2019. erowid.org/exp/102964
I have to start out by saying that suboxone/subutex/bupe was a very good decision for me. My history with opiate addiction is similar to a lot of other peoples'. I got surgery, was prescribed an opiate which was oxycodone, and my parents kept their old bottles laying around for me to get. And from there, I got a little taste of heaven, and I knew exactly where I wanted to be. The first time I insufflated a roxy was just about the best night of my entire life. I was 18, depressed because a girl left me, and I wanted to feel happy and sedated. Holy cow, that stuff hit me hard and I thought it was the best feeling in the entire world. I felt entirely happy, as waves of euphoric bliss wrapped around my body, and made me nod out to some good music. When I nodded, I was in dreamland where anything was possible. I felt like I was a rocket going up into space, and nothing would stop me, nothing would bring me down.
To make a long story short, I ended up chasing that first high I experienced from oxycodone.
I ended up chasing that first high I experienced from oxycodone.
I soon tried opana and heroin, and it was all downhill from there. No matter how much I snorted, I could never recreate that first experience with oxycodone, although the stuff got me really high and even sick sometimes. After that, that's when I first shot up heroin. I shot 3 bags of NYC grade A dope. Now THIS was the best feeling ever. It was so good, that I was so scared to ever shoot up again, and I never did. It lasted too short, and I quickly realized I was on the edge of death. I never touched the needle ever again, and I'm proud of that. However, I continued to snort heroin and oxys like crazy, still trying to chase that high, and it went all downhill from there because I got addicted even more, and couldn't even go half a day without a few bags of dope or an opana. I didn't even touch vicodins and oxys at this point, they did nothing for me. I wanted straight up dope and crazy hardcore pills.
Recently, there has been a huge crackdown on junkies in my area. There's cops everywhere, and people are scared as anything to sell. There's also a lot of fake stuff out there, I can't even tell you how many times I've been faked. It's a personal shame that hangs over me, although I did not lose too much money in the end, and I realize I could have instead lost my life. Pills have nearly tripled in price here, and it's a big financial burden on anybody who uses them. So because of this big circus that's going on with the opiate game in my location, I decided to go to a doctor and get prescribed Suboxone to help manage my addiction.
I have to say, this is honestly the best decision I have ever made in my life. I have been clean from heroin and all pills for 4 months now, and I take 4mg of suboxone a day now (started at 12mg). I thought I was going to relapse at first, but suboxone is actually pretty strong, and it satisfies to say the least. I know it 'doesn't get you high,' and it's expensive, but look at what I'm saving myself. I'm saving a rather long drive out to where the dope is. I'm saving at least 20$ worth in gas there and back. I'm saving having to call a dealer, waiting for him, meeting him, making the deal, dealing with BS that they sometimes give you, and the possibility of getting faked, robbed, shot, jumped, or arrested. Think about it, dope is not always in the possession of friendly hands, and I doubt they care about my life when they're giving me the stuff; they just want to make money. The dope can be cut/laced with anything from brick dust to rat poison because the dealers just want to make profit by stretching their product. I'm saving myself a lot of anxiety, and a lot of jail time as well. That's why I made the shift to suboxone. If you think about it, the doctor is always there, but the dealer can be gone, he can have bad stuff, he can have fake stuff, he can rob you and he can kill you. My theory is to always know what I'm getting, and I havn't had to ask a question since I entered the program. I get my pills prescribed, I pick them up, I take them, and I am normal. I don't need to be involved with crooks and low-lifes to feel good.
I am 100% happier with my life. I do miss the rush of going to get dope and all, but it also gave me terrible anxiety.
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