Citation: Medicine_Man. "Induced Transcendence: An Experience with Peyote & Meditation (exp103143)". Erowid.org. Jan 4, 2018. erowid.org/exp/103143
I was raised Southern Baptist. I have been in a place of death 4 times in my life. (Situations I should have died in, but yet survived.) Accident or injury. I entered into this self guided meditation with the use of peyote with the notion to forget anything that I have ever been taught aforehand. My mind was open to anything and everything, so as I would be able to make the best decision for my spirit as a whole. On a journey to cure my chronic migraines, PTSD, anxiety and insomnia on a more holistic level. During the Meditation- this report was prepared. The afterthought after 6 hours of rest and a clean mind follows.
11.7 g dried Peyote placed into roughly 40 capsules and consumed at 2 pm. – end of major visual aids 11:30pm
The first few hours were negligible. Body temperature was high and I was clammy and sweating quite profusely. By 4 pm I was preparing for my normal meditation practices. No answers in my head. I suddenly realized that the difference between Man and men was we think. So I pulled a piece of paper in front of me on the floor. And wrote the first thing that came to my mind. Batsheva. I heard her name spoken a few times inside of my head. At this point I started to receive visual aids. I never saw Batsheva yet I felt her lustrous presence. She was sexy and I have never even seen her face. I asked her a question. How do I increase my profits. ‘The answer is in the hilt’ was an automatic response. Inside of my mind a beautiful sword appeared. Curved at the top. On the flat of the blade I could see past the weapon itself and see an image in the blade. I had found my answer. I thanked Batsheva for her time, as she spun the sword seductively between her fingertips. Still no face, no body just mere essence.
As I turned to leave the room, feeling oddly satisfied and 100% reassured with myself and my new plans. (However extremely dissatisfied with not being able to even help myself imagine a manifestation of energy.) I saw myself in the mirror. This became Meditation Stage # 2. With my nose pressed against the clean glass I now stared into the eyes of a man, inches back from the glass on his side. I found myself observing myself, not as myself. I became increasingly attractive. Sexy, powerful. I found myself so attracted to me, that I physically wanted myself. I began lusting after myself. At this point my wife knocked and came in the room. I immediately was overwhelmed with jealousy. I was angry at her for interrupting this only time I had with her. The winds were shifting outside, which was the reason for the intrusion. As I came outside to admire another possible freak storm, I saw Batsheva’s jealousy transform into a beautiful storm cell, producing a massive funnel cloud sideways of the main branch of clouds. It appeared prominent enough that everyone in the family (me being the only one on peyote) could see it and were taking pictures. Out of this storm fell some Hail. One hail in particular, landed directly in the palm of my hand, and then bounced to the ground. I picked it up, and saw a good sized beautiful piece of hail, enveloped in a larger piece. I placed this piece into my mouth after pictures and show and tell. The taste, was out of this world amazing. Granted I had been fasting since consumption. However the burst of water when it melted, quenched my thirst until midnight. It was the most special gift I have received. As I watched the storm, it was clearly apparent to me, that this storm was a direct action of jealousy. Not only did my old friend Batsheva help guide me, she wanted me for herself.
I sat outside enjoying the jealousy of this Spirit, when I began to see tiny things in the air. If the background was right, and you had the ability to see beyond what you are seeing, this is where you will find this life. Millions of tiny bubbles of light. Naturally I became euphoric and giggly. My first time in my life seeing something that isn’t there. (Which I now know, is always there.) After initial glance, I was able to see them easier and easier if I look at them correctly. Once they became apparent all around me, I noticed they were not randomly moving around. What I thought was chaos of particles, were the very fibers of life itself. It takes tens of thousands of millions of these bubbles to make up one atom (so I have read). These bubbles were in a pattern, grouped together. And they were pulsing. Everything in our universe operates in a frequency of vibrations and pulses. A constant beat, emitted from our Sun, somewhat similar to the Heart. A group of six groups or so (very hard to identify how many exactly) would be orbiting around each other, still then pulse, still, then pulse. Orbiting themselves but never touching. They reminded me of nats in the air. If I looked at a darker background, I couldn’t see them, but a lighter one, like the sky, I could. Peculiar is, they are unaffected by the physical elements. It was high winds, yet they remained constant, unchanged, unaltered. Floating there, orbiting. Pulsing. It rained, still they remained the same. Ever so constant. Sitting down and gazing into this matter that I was being able to see, I realized this wasn’t the first time I have seen these bubbles. I've had a few head traumas over the years, and when I get hit in the head hard, I see this life out of my peripheral vision, everywhere except the spot I am looking directly at. Some may appear to be u shaped, however they are transparent, and but translucent enough to be visible to the naked eye, pr possibly ‘Third Eye’ at this point. I fixed upon this gaze and in wonderment at the new found world around me, I spotted one small cluster, slightly bigger than the rest that never moved, until I physically noticed it. Once I tried to focus directly on it, it would jerk away lost into the millions of smaller bubbles.
After many failed attempts I was able to lock onto my new found object. The direct center of my pupil. Once locked into the gaze and looking inside of this cluster, it began to enlarge, pulsing. Each pulse was a larger image, all translucent but definitely there. With each enlargement, came an adrenaline rush like that of a roller coaster. When it took over all of my vision, I was so adrenaline stacked, I felt like I just jumped out of a plane, then I blinked and lost everything. (Surely I was about to see inside of myself if I could have hung on.) I must not blink to be able to see this new found dimension. Imagine looking into space. At the stars. I blink, it shuts the shutter on my camera and resets the focus. I'm back at square one. The longer I keep my shutter open, the more and farther I shall see. It does hurt, and tears rolled down my face, but once I passed the first like three tears swells, I was golden. I lasted over an hour without blinking for my first time ever.
A fellow spirit suggested a dark room for my meditation purposes. This is where I turned my five foot closet into a vast universe, woven together with translucent prisms of soft light. Once inside of the eye (no blinking) I noticed that I had to remind myself that my eyes were open. It was more comfortable at this point to keep them open, to close them and keep them shut required effort, leaving them opened was easy. Inside of a soft glow, I was able to see inside and around, I witnessed a star inside of each prism of light. I think of prisms as square, these were not, they were round, soft, fibers. When I ran my hand around the air, I was left with soft tracers. I was creating my own fibers, pulsing colors by my actions. Here is where I met Fear and found myself.
The search for my pupil again was the first thing on my mind in the darkroom. Ecstatic for the knowledge that awaited me on the other side. Once I found it however, I noticed a face. In the dark. The size of the tiny bubbles. The more my eyes were opened the bigger it became. I had placed my back against the wall for a safety measure before I began. The face became massive, it turned into something Demonic, then a skeleton. It honestly terrified me, but I knew not to show it. With my back against the wall, I did what I always do in such situations. I jumped at it. “Boo!” was all I could think to come up with on the spot. “ I am not afraid of you, I see the face inside of the face and beyond and it’s me. Fear is product of my own imagination. “ at this point I was recording my sessions via voice recorder. After I made this courageous move against myself I realized that I was the only one there to begin with. There were no other manifestations in this realm. I no longer felt, and will no longer fear the unknown any longer. It is now known. Unevolved minds are the only physical danger in our realm. Interesting tid. The brightest light of all, is that which emits from our souls. The light being so bright that when I finally located my pupil and I successfully transended. I was blinded as if I just stared at the Sun itself. The light was peeking from behind my eyes, like they were moons during an eclipse, the light barely visible at its outer most edges. Everything related to the cosmos. After glorious lights and galaxies discovered I stopped for a mirror meditation.
The Man that stood before me was me. I opened my gaze and began to see more than myself, within myself. My face and features slightly changing, the eyes ALWAYS the same, yet they were not my eyes. Scars, appeared all over my face. A dark shadow formed over my face and I saw the silhouette of a mushroom on my forehead embed inside of a prominent scar I really have. AT THIS POINT I ASKED THE QUESTION. “ Future past or present.” I saw my original scars protruding from the marks of these other souls. Old, ancient. Bearded. Always me, however not physically me. But my personality, my soul. All blended together. They were all clearly attached to me, and there were at least 3 faces. The last of the warriors had black rings around his eyes. Painted perhaps, bruised or possibly aged. I saw hatred in their eyes. Especially the dark eyed. Hatred, violence, anguish, hurt. Once I recognized them as individuals inside of myself, I knew this was not the first time I had seen them. The dark eyed man, when I was a boy. I remember those eyes telling me to stand up and fight in a life or death situation that my 15 year old body had found itself in. Again on an opponent after an ‘affair’ discovered. All of my souls had something in common. The 7 deadly sins. My souls looked like they could use a little peace. Tired. They stood before in the mirror as if standing to be judged. Not proud of their actions yet damn sure not ashamed. One thing for sure, I saw Victors of battles won, or yet to be won. I am a Leader. A Man amongst Men. It is my purpose, my being. This sit down with myself changed everything.
We are recycled back into each other. Man and woman elopes, spawns a child. This new DNA has no soul, only body until one established themselves into it at birth. When one spirit dies, his soul will rise to be judged. Or we rise and have the ability to move onto other worlds and other hosts, or reincarnate back at birth. Earth is the place designed by God to die. From the ashes we were made and from the ashes we will return. This is the place where shit goes to die. We are the only mortal beings. Our purpose is to one day die, it’s a fact. So with that being said. We live in “ Hell” as we recycle back into planet earth, we continually deplete our planets resources to the verge of wasteland. Our hell could be a nuclear holocaust, filled with plague, famine, disease… or it could be the beach in Hawaii. The choice is ours as a people. As a devign spirit. It is our mission to prefabricate the walls we find ourselves in to promote healthy living amongst our people. The wars we face today are not biblical. They are merely us doing what we cannot do, getting along. World peace would be the only answer. Instead of nations, brothers. One family helping another family out. All citizens of Planet Earth. All Spirits of this world and possibly others. Creating life for life. We are our own creators.
It is overwhelming, that we are but ants on a mole hill. The possibility that once released from this fleshly host, are spirit is released into whatever form we may choose wherever in the cosmos we may chose. ( If were lucky enough to have a choice) however, we are here for a reason. To evolve our minds to a higher level of enlightenment. To help our brothers and sisters across our lands find a more holistic and healthy approach to life as we know it. To start turning Hell, into a metropolis.
The Storm of Jealousy
Outside, after observing this beautiful storm. I began to see my first time ever, visual aids. I began to see like little nats flying around everywhere, but I could only see them against a light background. Upon feeling very euphoric and giggly and ecstatic of finally seeing results, I began to fix my gaze just right. I must look beyond what I see to see what is really between what I see. With the gaze just right, my third eye opening up, I began to notice that these smalls globes of light bubbles were centralized together in groups and were orbiting themselves at a fast pace, never did they touch. They would move in pulses, vibrations if you will. The wind picked up and I noticed that these particular light bubbles, were unaffected by our physical elements. Never changing. Your body passes right though them, yet they remain, pulsing. I spotted my pupil hanging out with the other light bubbles. When I attempted to look directly at it would jerk away. If you looked at it in your peripheral. It began to get larger at each pulse. Until it took over my entire vision screen. With that came a large roller coaster of adrenaline, so much as it broke my gaze at the very end, I blinked. I am sure, if I were able to hold on a moment longer, I would have been looking right inside of myself. I am sure what was happening was my pupils were dilating back and I was entering my third eye, or ‘inner eye’ as I think it should better be termed.
Finding the darkest of places, is the challenge. Little lights began to appear throughout the room. It was difficult to remember that my eyes were wide open, as if they felt shut. I virtually could see nothing inside of the Dark Room. Locating my pupil, my inner eye was difficult at first. During the search, I realized the brightest of lights were being emitted from inside of my inner eye. Upon realization of this light, other mysterious fabrics of light began to materialize. I began to see a face. I felt the initial reaction of Fear. Every apparition that was visible to me, was being produced out of fear inside of myself. I asked Batsheva if she was present with me and asked her for assistance to remove the fear blockage so I could continue to be enlightened. At the disappearance of Fear, I began to realize that everything that I was seeing around me, is always happening. Only now I had the gift to be able to see it in live action. Life at its purest form. Perhaps, since everything is always happening continuously, any spirits would not be able to see me. I was granted the power to observe life at its most elementary elements. Keeping my third eye open and focused is a tough skill, for a young soul to attain. Everything directly and easily were identifiable and directly related to the cosmos. Once, I noticed and acknowledged the presence of Fear, it immediately evaded me, possibly forever. I began to dissect Fear in itself. The only thing to Fear on this realm is mankind itself. And not to Fear them, but learn from them, and be wary of Human Nature and its tendency to kill off its host, in the most inhospitable way.
A prominent haze of soft green lights, as if suspended in air appeared before me solid and steady, readily visible for my new found vision. Soft and barely visible, yet there none the same and ready for me to observe. Once my focus was fixed upon the new light, as I was able to see sideways into the light. Inside of it, a galaxy of it’s own. Stars, including one in particular. Reminded me of the North Star. I felt as if inside of me I had realized that we are infinite, and everything around us infinitive within itself. At this point I began to notice tracers being left in the air, after moving my invisible hand through the matter before me. Only three colors were prominent, Red, Green and sometimes blue. All soft. Hard to describe with words the fabrics of space and time that I was able to perceive.
Once my third eye was open, it became increasingly easier to refocus on the object at hand, and increase my gaze using my vision. To not only see what is in front of me, but what is between me. These objects, orbs of light, are ever constant. Unchanging by the physical elements in front of us. The same as the essence of life that I witnessed outside. I wished at this point I had learned how to meditate without blinking as I did a few hours after this experiment, as I am positive my visions would have been deeper. I began to see slight traces of Essence (No Seeums) vibrating and pulsing as they did outside. Orbiting themselves in a binarial pattern. Once I was seeing inside of the dimension I would always see distant red dots, like planets. In a rotational path with something, and yet moving as the essence of life does. To a pattern. A binaural beat of some nature. The visualization of life around me clearly somehow made it 100% aware in me that I was Utterly alone. My Spirit nor souls had no apparent friends in this realm, which saddened me. I saw no physical manifestations of energy or life. I felt as if, my Spirit, was alone in the cosmosphere. There were no other spirits with my capabilities of communication. I completely and comfortably debunked any supernatural feeling or superstition that I have attained in my life. I even attempted to strike fear into a prism of lights that appeared and they remained unaffected. Listening to the recorder on my phone, I could hear the background noise of someone in the house speaking clearly. During my Dark Room meditation, I heard nothing except the distant humming of the sun. The brightest light, seemed to be coming from inside of my inner eye. As if my eyes were planets blocking the sun in an almost perfect eclipse.
Sitting upright in front of my mirror I pressed my nose against the glass and slowly moved backwards, observing myself from a different perspective. The more I gazed the more my flat reflective became a 3d Man staring back at me. I noticed deep inside of my eyes there appeared to be a small light in each pupil. Gazing into this light transformed my eye into a crazy cat eye looking appearance. Then into a spinning, pulsing orbiting essence. Much like that of the nooseums outside. My left eye seems to not be as strong as the right. Most feeling is in the right. No light in the mirror proved no results or clarifications.
I began to stare at just myself. I felt hatred inside of the eyes looking back at me, and then all feelings of emotions were gone, and I was just there, ready to observe. As the different characteristics began to take form on my face, I felt not fear nor discovery. I felt as if I knew what was coming. Scars appeared to prominate all over my face, my beard grew longer as I focused my gaze into His eyes. Stare at yourself in the mirror for long enough, and you will find yourself staring at someone other than yourself. I notice these are not my eyes, as I look into them. Same shape, same color, yet not mine. I know not of the tale nor the life. But I have seen the faces within. Scars appeared all over myself, weathered. I asked him why so much hatred. No response. I felt as if I could possibly communicate with this soul directly if I only knew how. Three faces inside of my own. Each different but still the same. I began to pay particular attention to the original scars which I know I created in my life. As I observed, I noticed scars forming not only under my own, but over them as well. Meaning that not only is this a soul from my past, but one in the future as well. As I realized this, my eyes grew dark rings around them. Almost black, with age. Scars appeared all over my face. A large mushroom began to appear, perhaps painted, on my forehead as if the cap were pointed towards a particular direction in the sky. The mushroom was embedded in one of my deep natural (I really have this one) scars across my forehead. Lines began to trace across my face to form some sort of half face mask helmet. Yet the beard remained and grew longer.
I believe to have experienced my first Ego Death at this point. I was suddenly keen to the notion and idea that when we die, we recycle back to birth. Earth being hell. Our hell was once roamed by massive creatures (Dinosaurs) that would shred a human to pieces. Out of the pits rose the civilization of Man. Thus meaning, if we are recycling amongst ourselves. Our Hell could just as easily be a paradise instead of a nuclear wasteland. The choice is ours. Although this information changes EVERYTHING, it doesn’t change anything because everything is irrelevant. Within my spirit was past future and present. 3 individual souls, of the same spirit. Me. 1 Corinthians 12:12 Unity and Diversity in One Body ‘For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.’
Dark room # 2
Here is where I experienced the same lights and fibers of before. No newfound knowledge, just more wonderment to how the cosmos reacts around us daily. I am but an infant on the very foothills of knowledge itself. I felt myself trying to keep my eyes closed. They grew so heavy I couldn’t close them they just stayed open. After three drops of tears from eyes remaining open, the pain of not blinking disappeared completely. My face grew numb and cold and my feet and hands well began to numb out. My breath, no longer an issue on my mind began to slow. My breath was so faint, yet it was enough to keep me going. My eyes had never felt so open. I imagined my eye as a shutter on a camera. The longer it remained open, the farther and deeper I will be able to see. Every time I blink, I reset the focus on my inner eye. The pressure in my head, was being released out the back of my skull and out of my wide open mind. I was wide open to the world. I remember feeling as if I could leave this body, if I only had the knowledge, and return. But the fear of my physical body not being able to draw breath with me in it, kept me slightly rooted. Not the fear of death, for that is irrelevant. But for fear of humanity being left behind, without access to this knowledge. This is the true form, as I believe, to open my inner eye during meditation. To see into the seventh dimension. I lost visual aids around midnight. Yet remained unblinking in a trance like state until 630 the next morning. My head had never felt so full, as if my brain has been enlarged in a very comfortable way.
What I learned:
We are one spirit, but many souls. Infinite within ourselves. The mortal body dies, it is its purpose. The soul is eternal and immortal and as thus recycles into an available host (Baby or organism). Reincarnation for lack of a better word. I do not believe that animal spirits and humanoid spirits comingle. They do coexist as the very essence of life itself, and may partner to achieve happiness and a common goal. The question remains, are they the same soul regenerating into ourselves until our time of punishment is done? We were created in the image of our maker, yet there are other makers as well. A more holistic lifestyle needs to be realized, and a planetary treaty should be reached to achieve the next stages of life. No longer countries and governments against each other, but brothers of the same planet, living in harmony with each other. More alternative options for fuel, would be a great start. If we stop robbing our planet of the very life she provides, we would see a new growth, and a new of age of mankind.
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