Mushrooms - P. cubensis, L-Phenylalanine & Syrian Rue
Citation: The Phoenix. "A Beautiful Psychosis: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis, L-Phenylalanine & Syrian Rue (exp103170)". Erowid.org. Nov 13, 2020. erowid.org/exp/103170
The experience began at about 8pm on a Friday night after taking L-Phenylalanine, a serotonin precursor used to mildly regulate mental conditions such as depression. I thought that taking such a chemical may help with my extremely frustrating problem. They call people like me 'hard heads.' It means that it is very difficult for us to break through into the planes of psychedelia.
In the past, I have taken over 700 morning glory seeds in an attempt to trip. 400 seeds is considered a very heavy dose. It never seemed to work unless I also smoked pot. This made me feel as though my mind wouldn't allow me to let go and enter the world I desired so much to be in, unless I had some kind of relaxer, a kind of buffer or key to my mind. After smoking DMT alone, I've been able to interact completely coherently and walk around functionally. But using weed as a buffer, my visions lasted over 20 minutes. But unfortunately I was unable to smoke pot due to an upcoming urinary analysis for a very important job. The week before I ate 15 g of fresh mushrooms, equivalent to about 1.5 g dry, and had very little psychedelic effects for an hour or so with a 4 hour body high. I wanted a powerful experience this time without the requirement of weed. So I stacked some chemicals together that I probably shouldn't have, but here is my story.
Once the L-Phenylalanine began to go through my blood stream, I felt an energetic high, or more of a good buzz. Then as the water boiled for the Syrian Rue, I hurriedly searched on the internet for someone who had combined these two substances. The only thing I found was that taking an MAOI with phenylalanine can cause massive blood pressure spikes. Oh yay. But then after reading that Syrian Rue doesn't act the same as OTC MAOI's in that it doesn't have horrible interactions such as the 'cheese reaction' I decided to proceed very carefully. After brewing the tea, I took a very small sip, reading my body for any differences over the next several minutes. I felt fine so I drank a few more sips and repeatedly waited. Feeling fine, I finished most of the tea and went for the mushrooms and began watching an excellent children's movie, eating pizza in bed.
The body high came on nice and easy and I began feeling a little funny. I noticed the walls seem to breathe slightly. Having never had a real mushroom experience I thought, 'Ohhh this is what they meant!' Colors began to brighten and the characters on screen appeared to become more real. The depth of everything began to sharpen in a way I've never experienced. It was a cleaner, crisper reality. I closed my eyes for a bit to potentiate the mental effects and visuals. At this point, things drastically began to amp up. Crystalline fractals of pinks, electric blues, all with their own 'etheric' feel, a mental electricity. Reality was becoming purely magical. I opened my eyes and the room had the most beautiful yellow softness and my spectrum colored painting was something else. I noticed that there was a particular 'fog' plane over my eyes inhibiting the clarity of my vision, but it was quickly replaced with OEVs.
I began to look at the ceiling because it was textured with the long parallel flowing style. It came alive with swirling rivers of smoke. What I saw was all more than real. Points of smoke then dropped about a foot, making them look like precipitating clouds. I had a light control over what I saw, but then I began seeing ghost images of people interacting in what looked like a restaurant, a very social place.
I again closed my eyes, and I don't remember what I saw because it was so intense. I had to open my eyes, and once I did the colors overtook me. I looked around and everything shuttered into unfocused layers of red, green, pink, and blue, just like when someone watches the old 3D movies without wearing glasses, but with many more colors. My bedding began to crawl with infinitesimally small diamond fractals. Surfaces were more alive than breath. At this point, things were becoming out of my control and it becomes difficult to put into words what happened after.
I had to go to the bathroom fairly often, and each time the space of the walls and all surfaces seemed to hide 'something more'. They were like the veil to another dimension. The walls began to breathe so heavily as I walked, I experienced what people would call a 'bending of reality.' There really are no words to describe this phenomenon, but it can be both terrifying and wonderful. I observed space and time stop completely, go completely inside out, and spit back out something that looked identical to my room, but something I did not recognize. My sense of time transformed into a gymnast, performing unimaginable changes. 'I' no longer existed.
I cried out for help. I bit the pillows, the sheets, and my arms. The one phrase I could pull out of my head was 'pure mania'. I couldn't handle these gymnastics. They were so far beyond what my mind could take that I began to spiral down into a bad trip, completely out of my control. The world no longer made sense the way I once saw it. 'Reality' did not make sense anymore. I was going to be like this forever. I went crazy and was never coming back. I've never lost control like this, not on LSA or DMT. The power was too great. 'I'm crazy, it doesn't make sense, nothing makes sense!' I cried out. Moaning, I saw my parents standing over me with somber looks on their faces. I was dead to them because I was never coming back. I watched my career slip through my hands. I was stuck in a place that didn't make sense, and nothing else made sense either.
In my panic I had to at least text someone. I texted a friend who I felt wouldn't judge me. I said 'I've seriously lost it.' She inquisitively replied, 'What do you mean?' I responded with 'I just need to hold on to a sliver of reality. I just have to get through this.' Then I went back into it and reality was folding in on itself. Frames of dreams within dreams in dreams began to infinitely construct themselves and I was in the fray of it. I sensed these planes of perception in a way I never have.
Opening my eyes, I didn't trust what I saw. I stopped hallucinating, but my reality was still folding. I felt like perception was a katana sword being created, folded and pounded flat, only to be folded again and again. Time didn't just stop, it felt like I went back through it. Because I was no longer visually hallucinating, part of me was in even more horror, making me fully convinced that it would be like this forever.
Things slowed down rather quickly after this. It had felt like lifetimes had passed, and all the people I knew had also passed on. But I could feel my ego construct being slowly rebuilt. I now recognized my possessions as things in my plane of reality. My body was again my own and nothing has ever felt sweeter than this.
My body was again my own and nothing has ever felt sweeter than this.
Just four hours after the trip began, I was back down to wonderful reality.
The next two hours I was far beyond the ability of sleeping. Heavily stimulated by the gigantic mindfuck I just inhabited, I had to continue the most critical part of the trip: rebuilding. If I didn't do this properly, I knew that the next few months would be shaky. Especially after experiencing ego death, one needs to hold reality dearly and understand what that traumatizing experience meant to them. I won't be delving in those realms so deeply in quite a while. An experience as such is cleansing, but difficult to cope with. So I'll see you next year, ego death! ;)
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