Citation: K-T-Kosmonaut. "Concerns Lifted: An Experience with MDMA (exp103197)". Erowid.org. Jul 18, 2020. erowid.org/exp/103197
Concerns Around MDMA Lifted
Because I get pretty detailed, skip to the sections most relevant to you.
I'm 21, male, about 150 lbs, 5 ft 9 inches, 9% body fat, and I have used various psychoactive drugs periodically for the last four years (alcohol, cannabis, LSD, shrooms, salvia). I was hesitant to try MDMA due to the concern of neurotoxicity. Eventually I stumbled on research that suggested: A) Neurotoxicity in rats could be entirely stopped with antioxidants, and B) *caution anecdotal* There is little evidence that MDMA causes negative behavior changes especially with moderately dosed infrequent use. This led me to believe that the risk of MDMA were significantly less than the benefits if proper precautions were taken and since I have normal blood pressure, I shouldnít have any health problems.
Antioxidants (to avoid neurotoxicity) ó Vitamin C (I used powdered Ascorbic Acid [aka Vitamin C] from a health food store for optimal absorption and bioavailability), Alpha Lipoic Acid (ALA) (I used the cheaper [racemic for any O-Chem nerds as opposed to R-ALA] version), and, just because I had it, ECGC (Green Tea Extract).
Muscle Relaxants (to prevent jaw tension) ó Bioavailable magnesium (not magnesium oxide). I used magnesium citrate since it is cheap.
Antacid (better absorption of MDMA and counters acidity of the antioxidants) ó Off brand TUMS
Serotonin Reload (to avoid depressive after effects) ó 5-HTP (serotonin precursor) and ECGC (to aid absorption).
Supplement Timing and Dose
T -1.5 hr ó 1,500 mg Magnesium Citrate (~200-300 mg elemental Magnesium), 2,000 mg Vitamin C, 400 mg ALA, 200 mg ECGC
T -0.75 hr ó 1,500 mg Magnesium Citrate (~200-300 mg elemental Magnesium), 1,000 mg Vitamin C, 400 mg ALA, 200 mg ECGC, 2 Antacid tablets
Next morning ó 200 mg 5-HTP, 400 mg ECGC
Following 2-3 nights before bed ó 100 mg 5-HTP, 200 mg ECGC
Notes on Supplements
Be careful about any drugs/supplements you are taking with MDMA. While researching MDMA/antibiotic interaction (my GF was taking antibiotics), I found some antibiotics have MAOi activity (which can be very dangerous in combination with MDMA). Do your homework
Too high of dosages of magnesium citrate can cause diarrhea. Iíve taken it daily long enough that the 3g didnít cause any problems.
I received my MDMA from a Dutch source online. Since the seller was highly rated, I assume it is very pure and unadulterated.
Iíve found mixed opinions on pre-dosing meals. Most are anti-fat/protein and promote a fasting period. I eat a very high fat diet so I decided I would challenge the recommendations on various forums.
Breakfast (~9 am) Ė Tea mixed with butter and MCT (medium chain triglyceride) oil
Lunch (~12 pm) Ė 4 Eggs cooked in MCT oil
Early Dinner (~4 pm) Ė Spinach covered in MCT oil
I aimed to be fasting for at least 2 hours before my dosing (~7 pm). To contrast my GF ate some pasta ~2 hours before dosing (this may have affected onset speed).
My research concerning MDMA was primarily physiologically, and not so much into the experience itself. I wanted to approach the experience from a reasonably naÔve perspective. I have a couple of concerns going in:
1. Either my GF or I might not have the sense of mind to respect boundaries with strangers (e.g. make out with them)
2. My GF and I might have trouble resisting the urge to have sex. (We wanted to avoid that due to rumors of sexual dysfunction as a consequence)
3. Not noticing dehydration or overheating
4. (This is a concern of a friend who has never done MDMA that didnít concern me too much) That Iíll happier than I ever will again.
I like to go into any drug experience with some intentions. Here were mine:
1. Bond with my GF
2. Cut loose and dance
3. Feel deepened empathy to the people around me
4. Integrate parts of the experience into daily life
My girlfriend, 4 of her/my (mostly herís) friends, and I went to a local concert (the vibe was pretty psychedelic but all sorts of people were attending). My GF and I were the only ones rolling. The rest either drank or shroomed. Shortly upon entering, we dosed.
Wait: T+ 0 through 30 min
No noticeable effects. I was jittery and energetic, probably nerves not the MDMA. I started warming up for my second intention (cut loose and dance) by doing some silly dancing with one of my friends.
Onset: T+ 30 Ė 68 min
At this point, the opening act came on. I was calmly dancing with my GF. I found myself touching her arms a lot and having my face up in her hair, but I believe I was trying to activate the experience rather than it already affecting me. At T+48 min, I kissed her and I could tell that there was something different. The texture of her lips and the movements of her tongue were not really changed per se, rather than I noticed them most sensitively and with more focus. The feeling of kissing became my benchmark for assessing the drug intensity.
The feeling of kissing became my benchmark for assessing the drug intensity.
At T+68 minutes, it becomes clear to me that she is definitely feeling it too and she affirms my suspicion shortly after.
Plateau: T+ 1 Ė 3.5 hours
In this period, my three main points of concern melted away. I almost instantly realized I was thirst and hot, so I got water. No issues there. I felt a remarkable amount of lucidity. This was totally unexpected. I wasnít ecstatic or wild. I was calm, happy, and open. As part of this lucidity, it was easy to tell that we would be able to restrain ourselves from having sex. However, contrary to many reports, I did not experience any erectile dysfunction aka ďspeed dick,Ē which was interesting. The calm, happy feeling wasnít such that I felt I would never be that happy again (my friendís concern). The experience was great, probably one of the top of my life, but I donít feel it was out of the ballpark of other life experiences, nor do I feel it is a benchmark that could never be reached again.
Goal of 3 Hugs from Strangers
The most apparent aspect of the experience was how my mood changed my immediate values and how that changed my behavior. This can best be explained by the goal I invented after the effects began of hugging three strangers. I would describe myself as a sociable introvert so this goal isnít something I wouldnít be capable of normally, but the drug made it much easier. I felt a dramatic reduction of social anxiety. While I was conscientious that not all social interactions would likely have positive results (like talking to creepers), I wasnít concerned with rejection. So I ask a nearby couple if they were rolling and if they would hug me and my GF, and they said they werenít rolling but happily accepted the hugs. Shortly after, I asked one of two guys dancing if they would help me reach my goal of hugging three people, and he looked at me with face of mixed surprise and fear. I thought this was strange, but I told him that it was totally fine that he didnít want a hug, but his friend gave me a hug! It was a great surprise! Normally, I would almost certainly have felt a strong emotion response to the rejection, but I took it in stride. A while later, a friend appeared with some of his friends and I got hugs from them too.
All my intentions were satisfied fully. I didnít feel self-conscious dancing (however I also didnít feel self-conscious before the effects kicked in) and I danced my heart out. I felt much closer to the people around me. I felt particularly close to my GF (this isnít atypical as we have a great relationship). I felt there was a strong openness. Almost as if people would understand my words for their intention more than usual and if I came from good intentions, my words would be appreciated.
Come Down: 3.5 Ė 5 hours
The come down was very gradual. Once I felt that I had passed the peak, I knew the effects were decreasing, but it didnít bother me. During the encore, I was beginning to feel tired, but I was still enjoying the experience. It just seemed that it required a small degree of conscious effort to stay in that same zone of joyous dancing. After the music ended, I felt most of the effects had declined. I still felt very open. The sensation of kissing was still altered but the ability to focus on it solely was dwindling. My girlfriend was still felt the effects for 30-60 minutes past me.
After Effects and Integration
I wasnít too tired when I went to bed (3 hours past my normal bedtime). I woke up several times in the night with strange dreams. I felt very rested in the morning but slightly off. I felt like I had been on a physically demanding, yet relaxing vacation. It was as if I was happy but my body was a little weary. During that day, I felt happy and friendly and weariness faded quickly. It seemed as if the people around me were a little friendlier too. I didnít really experience any real crash.
Since then I have felt more relaxed about the actions of others. Iíve felt friendlier and my GF remarked that I seem more enthused about things. All-in-all it was a great experience and I would definitely do it again.
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