Citation: Leder. "Breaking the Cosmic Holodeck: An Experience with Ketamine (exp103233)". Erowid.org. Apr 6, 2018. erowid.org/exp/103233
I had the strangest experience about two weeks ago, I'll try my hand at explaining it. It was one of those dream like trips that do the term justice, It really felt like I went somewhere very strange and returned. I've been piecing together a sort of narrative of what happened since, though I'm still kind of sketchy on the details.
I was really excited to get a new batch of K in, and decided to get right down to business. It had been about a month since I had taken K, although I had done DXM a couple of times during said break. I got two shots ready with a little over 150 mgs of Indian racemic ketamine in each, and proceeded to inject them intramuscularly in each deltoid, one right after the other. I then put on some Boards of Canada and laid on my bed.
That's pretty much all I remember physically doing. After this I was in what I suppose was a fully anesthetic state or pretty damn close, but of course I was unable to realize that at the time. I had the sensation of being forcefully thrust into this new place I will describe in a moment. And I was completely convinced that this was it; I'd pushed the envelope of existence too far, and this time I'd stumbled through some cosmic loophole that had broken reality for good.
I'd stumbled through some cosmic loophole that had broken reality for good.
I have a delusion sometimes on high doses of dissociatives that is somewhat common; I think that existence is fake and that the universe probably doesn't exist outside of my mind. It's a pretty sweet delusion, and makes for some pretty good trips. But anyway I had the sense that the things that were faking reality on me all the time finally shut down, I had passed the test and the experiment was over. It was sort of like there was always a holodeck program running, tricking me into thinking things are real, and there are entities of extreme intelligence running the whole thing. Kind of like the Matrix.
Anyways now it was over, and I was in the holodeckesque room with the creatures that had been running the universe program. The creatures looked like the Barrier Trio enemies in Mother 3, if anyone knows what I'm talking about, and the environment I was in was dark with all kinds of strange lights and gadgets and such, the details of which are extremely fuzzy, sorry. As soon I became aware of my environment, which I gathered to be the true universe, one of the creatures firmly grabbed me and put me in some sort of pod thing, which was on a track with others. There was a little window in the pod, out of which I could see the alien super-beings doing whatever the hell they were doing, and others like me being taken out of the simulation.
Eventually one of the super-beings hefted me off the line and took me into this room that was huge and spherical. There were places for each pod lining all of the walls of the entire place, and each pod was put in a slot with the window facing out. For a moment I thought that these were grave sites of sorts, and there was a fleeting moment where I looked directly in the eyes of the super-being screwing my pod into place and thought he was about to either kill me, or leave here to die. That was pretty much the only moment of the trip where I was actually really scared, but the thing didn't regard me at all, and walked or flew away or something.
And not long after that I figured out what we were being gathered here to do, I'd learned something that day. This is the end of the experiment that was being run on humanity, and we were going to combine all of our cognition in this hyperdimensional honeycomb room and create a new universe, or something to that effect. Basically what me, and presumably all the other people in the pods, started doing was somehow forcing energy out of our pods and into the center of the spherical room at the same time. I did this by pushing forward mentally, I really don't know how to explain what this was like, it seemed natural, like taking a piss or something. Anyways we all did this strange mental pushing thing at once into the middle of the room, and then my trip just exploded into colors and ecstasy at the creation of the new universe. I felt amazing, then I woke up in my bed.
This is the weirdest experience on drugs I have ever had, it even beats dmt for alien-ness. I also somehow managed to injure myself, I had a scrape on my face and a few bruises that I had absolutely no memory of getting. This has happened since with mxe as well, I just blacked out and fucked my furniture and myself up, you should really have a sitter with you if you're taking doses like this.
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