Citation: Tunaroll. "Maybe a Little Too Good: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp103260)". Erowid.org. Jul 12, 2017. erowid.org/exp/103260
I had no experience with dissociatives prior to trying MXE. In fact, my only drug experience consisted of light marijuana usage (ie. 2-3 times a month at most and only in the past year and a half) and maybe the occasional cigarette. I had considered experimenting with a new drug for this past year, but up until last weekend, I had been too scared to actually do so. A bunch of my friends at college have been raving about this less renown drug called MXE and had even replaced their weekend binge drinking with it. I remember visiting their house one weekend when at least 10 people had taken MXE and were listening to strange chanting music and rolling around on the floor. I thought to myself, “Well this looks like a lot of fun, but it must be really harmful for your health.” It never crossed my mind that I might be trying that same drug only a month later.
So what made me take MXE, when I’ve never been willing enough to try any other drug beyond marijuana? Honestly, it was a spontaneous impulse that, luckily, had been supported by prior research and long discussions with my experienced friends. Quite simply, I was in a terrible mood on a Friday night, wishing that I could see my boyfriend and just be happy. My friends said, “It’s nice to feel good!” and thus, I decided with their gentle urging to try MXE. I am writing this the Monday afterwards.
After being shown how to properly insufflate a line, I snorted about 10mg. It felt like nothing, and this immediately assuaged most of my fears. My friends told me smoking marijuana would complement the experience, and so I proceeded to take a small hit from the passing bong. Then I sat and waited.
Within 5 minutes I felt a little buzzed, as in slightly silly and relaxed, but this may have been the onset of highness from the bong hit.
Within 15 minutes I began to experience a familiar, and yet, somehow completely new sensation.
Within 15 minutes I began to experience a familiar, and yet, somehow completely new sensation.
I remember saying, “I just can’t quite place my finger on what I’m feeling, but whatever it is, I like it.” It was almost a mixture between being high from smoking and being buzzed from drinking, but it did not feel disjointed; the feeling was harmonious and there were no aspects that I could actively discern or pick apart. Things seemed slightly slower, and I felt physically very warm and comfortable in my seat and with the people around me. I took two more small hits from the bong and grew to feel giddy and content, as well as more sociable and goofy as time went on. As I was sitting in a chair, my drunken friend standing behind me started leaning on me and putting her weight on my shoulders casually. The slight pressure on my upper body felt so comforting that I actually moaned and said, “That feels soo gooood! It feels like a massage!” In response, my friend started to rub my shoulders, which was intensely pleasurable. She then started to scratch my head, causing me to make a lot of happy noises, as it felt surreally good.
About 45 minutes after taking the first line, I insufflated another 10mg. I moved to the floor, noting that my coordination felt off, and pretended to be a cat by rubbing my head against the legs of my other friend. I noted that I felt more attracted to people, and spoke about wanting to kiss another girl in that moment. Randomly I would get sensations of coldness, not uncomfortable, just unusual. A friend said it was the anesthetic feeling caused by the drug, and I noticed that my face felt numb. Someone offered me a candy (something like a sweet tart) and told me that it tastes like flowers while on MXE, and it did. I think the candy’s smell and taste were one the same, and in retrospect, my senses were very slightly overlapping. Unlike how I am while high, however, I did not want to eat anymore and just didn’t have an appetite. I walked around the room and started spinning slowly while sliding against the wall, going back and forth. Every motion felt absolutely euphoric and it drove me to the point of silliness. At any moment I could snap back and appear sober, but when allowed to, the drug made me act extremely drunk and feel extremely pleasurable (unlike any amount of alcohol or marijuana ever has).
About an hour and a half after taking the first line, more people came into the room, including people l have strong negative feelings towards. Despite this, I still felt very happy and just kept myself together so as to appear sober. They would have believed I was completely sober if I had not decided to be friendly and warm up to them, in which case I think I appeared slightly drunk. I definitely felt like I was slurring, although my friends experienced with MXE said that you only feel like you’re slurring and aren’t actually. Anyway, nothing could really bring me down, even though there was a negative interaction between one of the new people who entered the room and my drunk friend, who became very upset. An hour and 45 minutes into the experience, and I took a third line of 10 mg. Then my friend and I left the house.
It is important to note that at this point everything felt very disconnected, and I had strange short-term memory loss that was very different than anything I’ve experienced while smoking marijuana. I could recollect things if I stopped to think about it, but I literally felt as though I had severe ADD and couldn’t even put the pieces of the things I recollected together.
Now back at our house (we live directly across from the previous house on campus, 15 second walk), I sat at a table with my drunk friend/housemate who was busy texting on her phone. I heard a melody playing and was listening intently, when I realized by my friend’s raised eyebrows that I was actually hearing myself sing. It felt like my voice was being sung by another person, and yet I simultaneously had control over its pitch and melody. It was as though I was a conductor waving my wand and directing the sounds. With that thought, I started feeling as though I controlled everything, not just the singing. I said, “Everything in the Universe, all the senses, sight, taste, smell, sound, and touch… They’re all components of an orchestra, and I’m the conductor.” I felt so powerful and ecstatic about feeling in control of everything. The word “fabricated” kept coming to my mind, and it felt like nothing was real. The angles of all the furniture and walls looked off and things felt unfamiliar, though not in a scary way. In fact, it actually felt as though I had made and placed everything in my environment. I stood up and began twirling around, feeling somewhat disconnected from my body and enjoying the strange sensation. I would say this was the plateau, which came on after about two hours and continued for what I can only approximate at one and a half hours. I lost my sense of time, though I could still read the clock and figure it out. Unlike when I’m high, checking the clock didn’t matter to me. This was my world, fabricated by me, so time itself was trivial and irrelevant.
About three hours into the whole experience and still enjoying the plateau, I got in my bed and turned on the TV, which was connected to my computer. I went on to YouTube to listen to music, as I almost always want to do this while high, but oddly felt I didn’t want to do that. Instead I clicked on a recommended video that was a strange compilation of footage from Chino Moreno of Deftones saying and doing random things. This I found very entrancing, and made a mental note that I enjoyed observing people while on this drug. I realized that my mouth kept gaping open, and I chuckled to myself imagining what I must have looked like. Since my drunk friend went to bed, I texted some other friends to see if they were still up since I derived happiness and amusement from people for whatever reason. After about half an hour, I noticed that the effects were less and less noticeable, and I started to feel my hunger (as I had eaten very little that day). I ate pizza rolls, and then the friends I had texted earlier hung out with me while playing video games and listening to me explain the experience. At this point I felt a little strange still, but no distinct effects or euphoria anymore. After half an hour, they went to bed, and so I went to my room. I didn’t feel like sleeping even though it was 3 a.m. because I still wanted to explore the drug, even though the effects were so subtle at this point, and I just felt out of it. I ended up listening to Nine Inch Nails remixes until around 5 a.m. before finally passing out. The next day I felt maybe a little hung over and dehydrated, but after drinking a lot of water I was completely normal.
This was the most fun I ever thought was possible from a substance and never expected such novel sensations and perceptions. As a disclaimer, however, I wanted very badly to snort another 10 mg and kept thinking that throughout the plateau. From what I experienced and from what my friends have told me, it is a very compulsive drug. If I had it with me when I got back to my house, I would probably have taken more and more, even though I was so scared and apprehensive about doing physical or mental damage prior to starting. It was effortless and honestly a little too good to stop. Three days later, and I can still can’t stop thinking about it. I have never purchased drugs before, as my friend deals and gives me free marijuana, and the only illegal thing I’ve ever bought has been alcohol… But the next morning I immediately announced my decision to buy my own gram of MXE. Even knowing that it may be very harmful for me and have seriously bad repercussions, I am still decided on getting some more MXE to enjoy for the last two weeks of this semester. I believe this to be extremely addictive, at least mentally.
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