DOSE:

2 hits

vaporized

DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

195 lb

Psychedelics are no stranger to me. I have explored my subconscious many times with mushrooms, LSD, ketamine, cannabis, and mescaline, and through it all feel I have come to understand a great deal about this mystical dimension of our existence. Despite having journeyed on fairly large doses of the above mentioned substances, I never had the opportunity to experience DMT. It was always something that I was hesitant, but motivated to try. I just didn't think that I would have my first experience under the circumstances upon which it happened.

Early march of 2014, I admit that I found myself in a bit of a funk. The weather was cold and wet and I was feeling extremely stressed out emotionally. Things were chaotic at work, too much on my plate and many nights sleep eluded me. On top of everything else, I recently had a major conflict (that almost turned physical) with one of my best friends. What sparked the fight was trivial, but was more an explosion of pent up frustration with the selfish confrontational attitude he had developed over the past months. We managed to resolve the matter that night, but there was a palpable tension between us.

One saturday night, another close friend of mine was having his birthday celebration downtown and he had a limo arranged so there was no need to worry about a designated driver. I was tired all day and debated whether or not to even go, but the friend whom I had the fight with called me up and insisted that I go, so somewhat reluctantly I did. On my way to our friends home, I stopped to buy a case of beer, and I recieved a text saying hurry up, door is unlocked come in to living room. This is where things got interesting.

I walked into my friends house, and oddly all the lights were out, but I could hear the Disco Biscuits playing on the stereo in the living room which is a favorite tripping soundtrack. My two previously mentioned friends were sitting on the couch, and a third friend from out of town was also there, all three looking a bit spaced out. They told me to drop everything and sit down immediately, which I did. The third friend, who I sat next to on the couch, handed me what was essentially a 'meth pipe' and said get ready to hit it when I torch it. I actually laughed and said 'really? ice guys?', to which my buddy rolled his eyes and said its obviously not meth and told me to just hit it. I again, suspiciously looked at him and said 'ok, so we smoking hash oil or what?'. He started laughing and said 'bro! you always gotta ruin the surprise! its pure DMT...'

Right, so I had always wanted to do DMT, and now by pure chance here it was sitting in my hands. But it was so sudden, I was stressed out, my buddy I had been having issues with was here, was this the right time? Was a prepared for this? If this was with any other group of four, I would have declined. These people were people I grew up with, I trust them wholly. We have been down the rabbit hole together many times, so I took a deep breath and cleared my mind for lift off.

I held the pipe and began to slowly inhale, my buddy grazed the bottom the pipe bulb with the torch and the first hit filled my lungs. The taste is artificial and acrid, but I hold my breath. Exhale. Seconds later the space between my ears vibrate and the dark room suddenly becomes intense and saturated, with ultra defined contrasts, there is no doubt that I just consumed a psychedelic. The pipe comes to my lips again, and my friends heats the crystalline DMT to its vapor point once more. Inhale. Hold. Exhale.

Time and its meaning or relevance no longer exists. The physical body is not heavy, but dense. Massive surges of perfect temperature water pulse through my veins in perfect harmony with the universe. Reality is alive and electric with the most vivid and saturated colors glowing and radiating out of every manifestation of consciousness. Above the fireplace, facing where I sat,were two oil canvas prints next to each other on the mantle. Each panting had one symmetrical side of Buddha's face, depicted in the Thai style. As I gazed towards it, inexplicable complex multidimensional geometric fractals propagated towards me from the perimeter of the two paintings. The two sides of the face then levitated above the mantle, surrounded by the geometry of the universe, combined as a whole image of the buddha. The image was alive, and drifted in a halo of blue light that consumed the entire room that I was in. I felt very comforted and awestruck, but the presence then became darker, and faded further back with intense contrast. The communication was not verbal, but was constant, clear, and wise. Soon I realized that my recent stress and conflicts were causing me pain. The being gave me vision inside of my biological body and showed me that anger, guilt, shame, resentment, and revenge are no different than a virus that gives us the cold. I saw that I must remove the pathogens from my life, learn from the past but let go. The floor collapses under me. With great knowledge comes great burden. With the door to serenity open for me, I now had to to face the ghouls who had been piling up filth in my soul. There was panic, confusion, fear, hate, grief, desperation, and death. At the bottom there is only me, and it is dark. Disorientation overwhelms me, but then I look up. There is a light, it is small, but it is the most brilliant thing I have ever seen. First light. Daybreak. Slowly I realize that humans have the ability to move, then speak, then to think.

I was covered in sweat. I was finally back on earth, but words were difficult to articulate. The only thing I said at first was 'That was cleansing'. It was good to be back, but I was still gathering myself. Finally I stood up and still shaking announced that I was going outside for a cigarette. Once outside I light up, then halfway through flicked it out. I realized that smoking was gross, tasted bad, and that I didn't want it. That was the last cig I smoked.

DMT is beautiful and ugly. It is a gift, but before enlightenment, you must gather knowledge.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 103297
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Jun 3, 2020	Views: 577
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DMT (18) : Entities / Beings (37), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)