I Believed I Was Never Coming Back...
Citation: slybootz. "I Believed I Was Never Coming Back...: An Experience with Methoxetamine, Ketamine, & 2C-B (exp103573)". Erowid.org. Nov 16, 2016. erowid.org/exp/103573
My girlfriend was out of town for an entire week, so I had the apartment to myself. I had been doing Ketamine in the evenings for the past few days, but my K stash was dwindling. This particular night, I weighed out the rest of my Ketamine and was bummed that all I had was 150mg left. I remembered that I had a gram of MXE in my desk, but had never really enjoyed MXE in the few times I had tried it. I figured I would give it another shot so I weighed out 30mg, splitting it into a 20mg line and a 10mg line. I snorted the 20mg line around 8pm and it nearly made me gag...it's definitely not the familiar Ketamine burn/drip that I've grown accustom to. I turned on some music (Future Sound of London) and relax on the couch with my laptop. About an hour passes and I'm feeling pretty wonky, but nothing too spectacular. I go back to my room and contemplate what to take next.
It's only around 9pm, and I see my bag of 2C-B next to my scale. I was still fairly new to the effects of 2C-B, although I had taken it probably 10 or so times, both orally and nasally, in doses ranging from 5mg to 30mg. I decide that I may want to delve deeper into the 2C-B universe later that night, so I weighed out two piles of 2C-B, one 30mg and another 20mg, and set them aside. I believe my idea was that I would take 30mg, and then use the 20mg pile to take tiny booster bumps off of if I wanted to take things up a notch. I decide it's time to finish off my Ketamine, so I crushed up the 150mg I had left and made 5 or so lines on my snorting mirror. I quickly do about half of the K before sitting back upright to sniff for awhile to let the drip go by. I grab a soda, take a few sips, then I finish off the remaining lines of K. I'm hoping to K-hole, but my tolerance was built up from recent K binges, so I was doubtful. I stumble back to the couch and the music and get lost in my head for 30-40 minutes. I was slightly disappointed because I felt I was lingering at the point of a full-blown K-hole, but never quite made it inside. It's a little before 10pm and I decide to man up and prepare to do some 2C-B.
My legs are completely fucked from the MXE and K, but I manage to moonwalk/stumble my way across the apartment to my man-cave where my mirror was waiting with piles of 2C-B and one last line of MXE. I decide I would insufflate the 30mg of 2C-B, even though I personally believe 2C-B is the most painful drug I have ever snorted. I liken the sensation to snorting some of the worlds hottest peppers, with a burn that sticks in my nose and at the back of my throat for up to an hour... But, I've never been a patient drug user, so I would rather deal with this horrible pain than wait for an hour or two on the come-up from taking it orally (I also experience much more stomach pains/gas from oral 2C-B than nasal).
Before this night, the most 2C-B I had snorted was 22mg a few months prior. I decide I would man-up and go for 30mg. I split the 30mg pile into two lines and quickly snort both lines. My eyes immediately start to water and the burn kicks in, but isn't nearly as horrible as I had built it up in my mind. On a whim I decide to also snort the remaining 10mg of MXE, hoping it would dull the burn a bit, but it didn't. I sit for a minute or so, pounding my fist on my desk as the burn intensifies. Now, here's where I am disappointed in myself. I will blame it on the adrenaline from just having snorted a pretty painful dose of 2C-B, along with the dissociative cocktail of K and MXE that was still clouding my mind, but I lean back over my mirror with straw at my nose and snort the remaining 20mg of 2C-B. Immediately after snorting it I regret it, but there was no going back now. I know that I will be in for a really intense trip, but try to get my headspace back into the calm so that I can enjoy it.
I get up. I can already see this colorful 'film' starting to creep across my vision from the 2C-B, an effect I had grown to very much enjoy. I see my freezer a few steps away and I grab a popsicle, as that had helped in the past at relieving some of the 2C-B nose/throat burn. I walk to my bathroom and decide it would be soothing to take a bath. I strip naked, noticing that I am feeling extremely nervous in my hands and joints. I reach towards bathtub faucet to turn it on, but as soon as I turn the knob and water starts flowing, the sound of the water seemed to throw me 100mph into a full blown psychedelic trip. I sit down on my bathroom rug and realize I am just tripping harder than I have ever before on any substance.
I lay down on the rug, turning my head to the side I see the fibers of the rub begin to grow and twist into mind-blowing geometric spires, twisting and breathing. I had seen these types of visuals only once before, on a night a few years earlier where I took 800ug of liquid LSD with a close friend. The bathroom walls are breathing and twisting, patterns are interwoven and rotating different directions like interlocking gears, and incredibly colorful, as it seemed like the walls were changing colors every few seconds, from dark purples brightening into vivid greens, shifting to bright orange/red, and fading into strange blues. I close my eyes and remember that there's an entirely different world of Closed-Eye Visuals to see, but I decide to try to sit up and possibly regain some composure, as I realize that I am naked on my bathroom floor with the water running into the bathtub. I lean over the tub, expecting it to be nearly overflowing, and yet there's barely any water in it(the stopper was in the drain, I made sure). It felt like I had been lost on the bathroom floor for at least 10 minutes, yet the amount of water in the tub made it clear that it had only been maybe a minute. I am fucked up. I stand up, although my legs are very wobbly and shaky. I put one foot in the tub and feel the warm water, but can't decide if I should actually take a bath or not.
For all I knew, this could still be just the start of the come-up, and I may have a lot deeper to venture before I hit the peak of this trip. I stand there, sort of dancing between getting in and out of the tub as I didn't know what I should do. I notice my popsicle on the floor: I had opened the wrapper but not taken it out. I take my foot out of the tub and pick it up and pull it out of the wrapper. Purple. My favorite flavor, yet I was more intrigued by looking at the steam slowly creeping out of the popsicle than I was by actually eating it. I don't even taste the popsicle, but instead throw it in the garbage and turn off the water in the tub. I should get out of this bathroom.
I look at my clothes on the floor, but decide against putting them back on, as it would likely be a struggle. I exit the bathroom, naked and tripping balls, and my apartment actually looks familiar at first, which was relieving coming from the bathroom which had been a completely different universe. I want to go back to the couch, but end up walking into my bedroom and sprawling across my bed. The walls of my bedroom begin to transform just as the walls in the bathroom had, yet this time the room was much bigger and had higher ceilings. I'm getting lost in the patterns on the walls again and try to snap myself out of it for a minute, frantically looking around the room for signs of reality. I see my iPhone and grab it, just holding it tightly. It's solid, it's not going anywhere, which for some reason is comforting. I notice my hands are incredibly clammy. Right then I remembered why I was clammy and naked in my bedroom: I had just taken way too much 2C-B. I notice my heart isn't racing, which is probably the lingering effects of the Ketamine/MXE.
I sit on my bed, I can feel my phone is very slippery from the sweat of my hands. I feel very, very warm, even though I am completely nude. My apartment does not have central air conditioning and this was the beginning of the summer, so it was probably 80 degrees and humid outside even at night. Luckily we have this robot-looking portable air conditioner in our bedroom with a remote control, which I knew was conveniently hiding under my pillow. I reach over and grab it and turn on the A/C. The visuals are just taking over my visual field completely. I could get them to stop by, again, frantically looking around the room, not stopping for too long to stare. I close my eyes and it's just as intense. There's no escaping this incredible panorama of geometric shapes and shifting colors. I crawl across the bed towards the light switch, hoping that turning off the lights would both make me feel less warm, but also dampen the visuals. It's actually helping, at least at first. The darkness seemed to calm me down, but every time I blinked it felt like a splash of technicolor just washed over my eyes.
I'm just taking some deep breaths, hoping to calm my nerves a bit, because I still feel very shaky/nervous. My hands still feel clammy, but I no longer feel like I'm just a radiating ball of heat. I'm still sprawled face down on my bed, and the A/C is blasting cold air into my feet. I actually start to feel chilly now. I notice I have goosebumps on my arms and legs, and that maybe I should put on some clothes, but that would require getting up. I continue to lay on my bed, even though I'm getting more and more uncomfortably cold. I look towards the corner of my room, where I know our closet should be with some comfy pants and a shirt. Even though it seems like it's pitch black in this room, I start seeing this strange glowing from the closet. I can't see it if I try to focus on it, but if I look away, my peripheral vision picks up the intensifying green glow. I sort of get lost thinking about it for a bit, until I realize it's a blanket. I had made a fleece blanket years ago in high school out of some fabric I had gotten from a crafts store which was a checkerboard pattern of black and neon green. I am actually pretty amazed at how brightly it seems like this blanket is glowing, even through the darkness of the room. Okay, mystery of the green glow has been solved, so now I decide that I need to get some clothes on.
I crawl towards the corner of the bed, within arm's reach of my dresser filled with clothes. I reach in and feel around until I feel the pair of sweat pants that I was hoping to find. I put on my sweatpants and sit up, also grabbing a zip-up hooded sweatshirt from the closet. I put it on, but the zipper is irritating because I have no t-shirt on underneath, but I don't want to go through the effort of taking off the hoodie, finding a shirt to put on and getting the hoodie back on, so I deal with the slight unpleasantness. I feel my phone at my side and I pick it up to check the time. It's 10:47pm. I remember it being 10:47pm because I couldn't believe it until I checked my phone another 5-6 times to confirm. Remembering that I had taken the 2C-B at 10pm, I start to panic a little bit. Time is moving so slowly. I know that when I turn on the lights, the visuals are not going to have diminished at all.
And I was right. I turn on the lights and, after just a second of normalcy, the room begins to melt again around me. My earlier trick of frantically looking at different objects around my room was no longer working. No matter what I focused on, it would start to morph and breath, glow and fade, twist and spiral. I look up and see the trippy tapestry I have hanging on one of my walls. It looks pretty cool, but I feel like I've seen enough of this tapestry in previous psychedelic adventures. I'm actually still feeling cold through my sweats, so I turn off the A/C using the remote. The room falls silent as the A/C shuts down. I grab my phone again to check the time. It's still 10:47pm. I let out some sort of whimper, because time is just standing still. Is there a possibility that I will never come back from this experience? Will I live the rest of my life with these hallucinations? No...I know enough about the psychedelic experience and about what specifically I had taken to know better. Time will eventually pass, this trip will eventually level out and I will start to come down, and eventually I will be in control. I knew that the 2C-B trip should only last a few hours maximum at this intensity and then I'll coming down.
After a few deep breaths I look at my phone again. 10:48pm. Good. Now we're getting somewhere. I sit upright, and stretch my arms and legs. I feel like I'm stuck in this bed, but I can't think of a better place to be. Even though I just felt chilly, having no air conditioning was making me feel sweaty again. I'm also thirsty. I decide to get up and find a drink. I pass by the now-warm can of soda by my couch but decide I need something from the fridge. I actually get a cup and some ice cubes from the freezer, and start sucking on an ice cube. It's really good. I open the fridge, but there's colors and words everywhere, and I can't decide on what to drink. This ice cube is actually quenching my thirst pretty well. I decide to grab a can of beer, thinking it may help me relax or even fall asleep. I return to my bedroom with a cup of ice cubes and a can of Sierra Nevada pale ale. I open the beer and take a tiny sip. It tastes like I remember it should, which I took as a good sign, but I put the can down after just the one sip. Visuals are still everywhere I look. My blankets on my bed are breathing and changing. The checkered neon green blanket from earlier doesn't glow like it did in the dark. I decide again to turn the lights off. I'm really hot still, but the remote for the A/C is nowhere within reach of my desperately searching hands, so I decide to take off my sweatshirt. I grab another ice cube, lay flat on my stomach and rub it on my neck and back. The ice feels fantastic. I leave the remainder of the ice cube on my back to melt and reach for my phone.
A few more minutes have passed since I last checked, but time is still moving way too slowly. Time. What can I do to pass the time? Music? Music! Why have I been sitting in my room tripping harder than I've ever tripped before without any music playing? My laptop's in the other room, but my iPhone has a ton of music on it. It's extremely hard to navigate my touch screen because my eyes are having trouble reading, but if I blink hard, I can read the text on my phone for a split second. I don't know what to listen to. I have an extensive library of music on this little phone, but no idea what to listen to. None of the jam bands I usually listen to while tripping catch my eye. I don't want anything electronic or heavy. I want something....organic sounding? Something tribal maybe? I see 'Ravi Shankar' on my list of artists. Shankar, world renowned for his Sitar playing, had passed earlier in the year, so I loaded up my iPhone with albums of his. I hit shuffle on 'Ravi Shankar' and drop my phone next to my ear.
The first piece of music begins. The instant the sound of the Sitar drone hits my eardrums I feel like I melt, along with the entire world around me, just disintegrating more and more with this drone. Then the melodic tones of the Sitar begin. The room is changing colors with every note, every bend of the string.
I picked the perfect music. Knowing that most of the tracks of Shankar's music happen to be 30min+ in length, I just lie there letting the music guide me.
Knowing that most of the tracks of Shankar's music happen to be 30min+ in length, I just lie there letting the music guide me.
It wasn't until this point that I truly appreciated the Sitar's beautiful sound and how perfectly it pairs with the psychedelic experience. I explored the CEV's and OEV's with much more appreciation for them. I no longer felt a sense of fear that I would be tripping permanently. After this first piece of music begins to wind to a close, I stretch and take a few more sips from my beer. It's not really thirst quenching, but it's familiar at least. I take a big gulp before the next piece of music starts and I repeat the same exploration of my hallucinations as they are guided by the music.
A few hours pass, and I turn off Shankar and turn on the lights. Things are a lot more normal now. I actually have to put some effort into getting the twisting geometric patterns to appear in the walls. I feel good. I miss my girlfriend, but am doubting that I'll ever tell her this story, as it would worry her to know
that I took such a carelessly large amount of 2C-B alone. I walk to the fridge and get another beer to help me sleep. I walk into the bathroom where it all began and chuckle to myself. 'I thought I would just take a relaxing bath...', I laughed to myself. I unplug the drain in the bathtub, turn off the lights and head back to my room. I turned the A/C back on, having found the remote, and I wrapped myself in blankets to find a happy medium of warmth and cooling. I eventually fall asleep listening to an album by 'Andrew Bird', which was incredibly relaxing.
I awoke in the morning with a very thankful disposition. Thankful that I didn't trip to death, thankful that everything was back to normal, thankful that my girlfriend would be needing to be picked up from the airport in a few days. I eventually told her this story and she just rolled her eyes at me and shook her head, and then laughed at the thought of me panicking naked throughout the apartment. I have done 2C-B since then, but nowhere near that dosage. It was an incredibly frightening, enlightening, introspective, and, eventually, fun experience. However, I don't recommend this experience to anyone. It was careless of me to think I could safely dose myself a very potent psychedelic while under the effects of rather large amounts of dissociatives. 50mg is a high dose even for oral ingestion, and perhaps an astronomical dose in terms of insufflated ingestion. The idea of taking a bath was also not well thought out, especially since I was well aware of the reported cases of drowning in the bathtub while under the effects of Ketamine. I just wanted to finally revisit this experience in full by writing it down and hopefully sharing this experience with other who might be interested to read about it.
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