Cacti - T. pachanoi & MDMA
Citation: Ghetto Chem. "Life-Changing Indian-Flip: An Experience with Cacti - T. pachanoi & MDMA (exp103669)". Erowid.org. Aug 17, 2018. erowid.org/exp/103669
Before I talk about the experience, a quick drug history is in order I assume.. I take .5-1mg of suboxone a day, have been taking for over 5 years. Smoke cannabis daily, usually only a hit at a time but all the time for a decade straight. Besides that I've used just about every common drug there is and alot of uncommon ones, listing them all would take too much time. Everything from crack to toad venom, the only uncommons I don't mess with too often are RC's.
I had been planning on taking this San Pedro tea for some time, pretty sure a few months at least. So when time was finally coming for my absolutely favorite (and only now) festival I was more than excited to say the least. This was going to be, by far, the biggest dose I had ever taken. Same with my tripping partner. Before this we had only consumed 6in, either in tea form or extract, but this time we were planning on taking 18in of the fattest cuttings I have ever seen. Logs would be a more appropriate word. I'd estimate this would be 4x more than we had ever taken before, and I wouldn't say my 6in experiences were 'weak' by any means.
A week before this experience I started noticing 'signs'. This is something I've never experienced with any other psychedelic so I'm not sure what to believe, I'm generally not the type of person to read into everything but things kept pointing me in the direction of the San Pedro. Telling me this journey was going to be something of major significance. 4 days before, Shulgin passed, and as I looked at the article here on DF, I saw him standing in front a bunch of San Pedro. It reminded me of why he got into his line of work, and his respect for this sacred substance which he obviously held dear to him. Three days before, while looking through Netflix I came across a movie about San Pedro believe it or not, turned out to be a good movie and may or may not have had some play in how things went, called something like Crystal Fairy and the Magical Cactus. I held all those same beliefs before watching the movie, but it still worth mentioning. 2 days before I saw a rainbow cloud (rainbows are good sign for me, let alone a cloud) with a beam of light running through a hole in the center. And then the day before right after we arrived to the festival grounds and I was dancing to some music, it started to sprinkle perfectly, that light sprinkle where its just enough to cool you.. While the sun broke through the clouds, it created a perfect double rainbow right over the beautiful hill I was camping on. All this can mean nothing to most but had significance to me and I felt like something big was coming.
Well the day came to finally dose. It was a beautiful day around some of the best people you could possibly ask for. Earlier in the day I had found someone face first with pants around his ankles, all scraped up in the bathroom, after spending a good 30mins being patient as a saint trying to find his people I was eventually able to get him home and the praise from those around me had my ego high. After a quick 'prayer' to any spirit guides who may wanna listen, and to shulgin, it was time.
Around 2 or so in the afternoon we started on our tea. It really wasn't all that bad, it just takes time. The problem I always have is that I start to get intoxicated before I finish and that makes it a bit harder to finish off. My partner finished off her portion in about 45mins but it took me over an hour to take down most of mine. I couldn't finish as I started to get a twinge of nausea and didn't feel like vomiting. I'd estimate I consumed ~15in worth. The nausea faded after a few minutes and never returned
I couldn't finish as I started to get a twinge of nausea and didn't feel like vomiting. I'd estimate I consumed ~15in worth. The nausea faded after a few minutes and never returned
, in fact I was very hungry the whole night and food was wonderful. (I've found a way to make 'no-nausea' tea and posted it here on DF, I'd say I feel sicker after taking 150mg of MDMA than I ever have off this tea.)
Pretty much after the first sip I always start to feel it with the Pedro. It starts as a relaxing intoxication, I typically sigh alot as I drink it and my vision becomes altered almost immediately. In the past I have taken San Pedro that is very sedating and dream-like, before drinking I hoped that this would be more stimulating cacti and my prayers were answered. Near the end of consuming the tea I could feel my eyes widen and I became alot more talkative. As did my partner, we were chatting like we had consumed a bit of MDMA.
Speaking of MDMA... About 30-45mins after consuming the tea, we finally started to feel the mescaline take hold a tiny bit and decided some MDMA was in order. We both took 100mg of some very good, tested, product (plus a 50mg booster at some point). And then headed on down to the music.
From here out time has little meaning and trying to put it into chronological order would be nearly impossible for me, but I'll try my best.
The MDMA and mescaline hit at roughly the same time. I remember feeling the most intense sense of love I have ever felt in my entire life. It was close to my first time taking MDMA (which I regard as one of the most intense psychedelic experiences of my life) but even stronger and more 'real.' Unlike MDMA alone, this felt like it was truly coming from within me, hard to describe but instead of it feeling like the drug was producing these effects, it felt more like the drug/s were 'allowing' me to feel this way for the first time.
I remember looking at my partner and telling her, 'I just have soo much love to give right now, we need to go spread some love.' Haha, sounds corny I know but that's exactly how I felt. The feeling was so intense it was sometimes overwhelming, I remember thinking that normally I get overwhelmed by physical side effects of drugs and that I've never been overwhelmed by love before.
For a good while in the beginning we just jammed out to the really good dubstep that was playing at this stage and went from dancing by the stage to going down to the beach which was like 20-30ft away for our occasional 'beach jam' which was us dancing around on the beach with all these other naked hippies who had already taken their daily dose of acid. I realized quickly that these things we call shoes are horrid and felt a million times better after I took them off. We absolutely loved putting our feet in the water, nearly orgasmic, but we stopped after seeing a leech (or tried to stop at least haha, it was so hard not too).
After awhile this love feeling became too intense for me so I told my partner that we needed to go spread some, and that's exactly what we did. Every person I met or interacted with I gave every ounce of love and kindness that I could. It wasn't like MDMA where I was annoying though, I could tell immediately if someone was not feeling the vibes I was giving off and left them alone. I was able to keep it in mind that not everyone is in the mood to accept that love for one reason or another. But it being the best festival ever, a beautiful day, etc, we weren't really short on people to show kindness haha.
Lots of hugs, compliments, deep conversations, etc ensued from here haha. I felt a deep connection with everyone around me, and everything around me. Seeing a couple in an embrace would bring me to tears, its like I was a sponge that soaked up any love or good vibes I saw around me. The empathy I felt at that moment, indescribable.
As we were going we saw a canvas that was put out for random people to paint on as they feel like. My partner without saying a word goes and grabs a brush and comes over to paint a red heart on my chest. It felt so right, and I was very happy to have some sort of sign on me to signify to others that I was full of love at that moment.
I noticed too that my love extended past the human species, I finally understood why hippies were called tree huggers haha. A caterpillar inching along on a leaf or the guy standing next to me, didn't matter because we were/are all on the same plane of importance. I'm sure if I had accidentally stepped on an ant at the time I would have had a proper burial for it.
I could go on and on about how powerful this feeling was but no matter what words just can't describe...
Around 6-7 hours in it became apparent that the MDMA effect was wearing off, this was marked with some yawning and tiredness. But after about an hour it seemed that the mescaline kind of 'took over' and kept us going the rest of the night.
An hour or so after the MDMA ending, I decided to take a good puff off a DMT laced-blunt (not my idea.. but turned out good). The DMT in this blunt is probably the best I've ever seen, it resembled good crystal MDMA in how it looked. (The best always looks like this or small uniform crystals.) As each person took a hit, we were dropping like flies. When my turn came I took two good puffs then almost immediately knew it'd be best to squat down. The synergy between mescaline and DMT is perfect, this wasn't my first time and definitely won't be my last. Hard to remember exactly what happened, but I do remember the visuals being some of the most beautiful I've ever seen. I usually don't care much for them but this was gorgeous, and I remember thinking I wish I could feel like this for 10 hours haha. Everything around me became patterned in the most beautiful way that emanated its own psychedelic light that resembled a rainbow, I could see aura's around people. Just so beautiful, words can't do it justice.
I think we finally fell asleep around 3-5am, but when we awoke the next day it was still very obvious that we were under the influence. Mescaline usually affects me for around 2 days and this was no different. Overall the visual effects weren't anything to write home about, just a blurryness and contrast to lights (actually less visual effect then some of my 6in trips) but the emotional impact was beyond words.
One particular side effect that I enjoy immensely about mescaline (San Pedro more specifically) is its effect on hunger and food. I actually get really hungry and was eating food all night like I had the munchies. I've had this happen before after taking a mescaline (A/B) extract, and remember I could taste each individual flavor of skittles and they tasted wonderful. Usually skittles all taste the same unless I look at the colors. This time around I was eating a big meal 30mins after eating the MDMA, this would never have happened with MDMA alone. A big burger and fries around 7-8 hours in was absolutely amazing. The sense of taste is enhanced unlike nothing I've ever felt. Definitely worth mentioning. Its nice to be able to eat during an experience like this as it not only adds an extra pleasure but keeps me feeling energized and good, plus I can consume foods full of anti-oxidants to keep me safe, just all around a good thing to have happen.
The experience itself is really hard to recount... But its changes on my psyche aren't.
Ever since this experience I have the most profound sense of empathy and compassion. I realize that every interaction we have during our day can potentially have a huge impact on either person for a long time afterwards. I think about how easily it is to ruin somebody's day, well its just as easy to make somebody's day too. Before I tried to be friendly and nice, now I'm very conscious about it and strive to make sure everyone who interacts with me walks away feeling positive.
I also have the most intense empathy now. I've always been very empathetic, but now it could be considered too much by some. The other day I saw a grandchild sitting on his grandfathers lap, having a good time together while the childs father juggled balls to make them both laugh. Seeing stuff like that makes me instantly tear up from the beauty of it, in a situation like that I see so much love and it makes me feel so good.
For the past year too, I had a bit of a problem seeing couples together since I had broken up with my high school sweetheart. I knew logically it was jealousy/anger over my situation and that affected how I looked at other people who were in love. That has completely gone now, and it makes me happy to see a couple embrace or kiss as I realize that I'm not the only one allowed to feel love. And just because I may not have someone to love at the moment doesn't mean I have to resent those that do.
I've gotta go for now but have more to add. Its just so hard to put this all into words, nothing will do it justice. At the moment I'm trying to learn how to live with these new feelings. Its not hard but its definitely different. I've noticed that alot of good has already come from these changes, by putting out good vibes I've gotten all of it plus some in return.
For those reading this. Next time you walk past someone, smile. Next time you talk to someone, compliment them in some way. If you feel someone is unreceptive to your good intentions then don't get upset, you'll get em next time.
Addition#1- Just wanted to add that ever since, I've had moments too where I feel like I'm going back to how I felt that day, it feels amazing and I just want to dance. Its usually after smoking a hit of cannabis, I know that cannabis can cause 'flashback' type symptoms of a negative sort after a bad psychedelic experience, but this seems to be the opposite where I'm getting extremely positive effects that weren't there before.
Addition#2- Its been 2 weeks since the experience and the profound feeling hasn't faded much. I love the reaction I've been getting since my 'change.' People obviously take well to kindness, and those that don't just seem to ignore it. Not sure if I'm doing this to build my own ego or not but as long as someone else benefits I don't see how its wrong. I've noticed that my social anxiety is much less than before, because I want to talk and make people feel welcome.
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