Citation: Kiki. "My Trip To My Personal Hell: An Experience with 2C-B, LSD, MDMA & Cannabis (exp104193)". Erowid.org. Aug 24, 2019. erowid.org/exp/104193
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I'll start this off with a little background information... My name is Kiki, I'm 24, 5'2' and about 15 pounds over my ideal weight. I started doing drugs when I was 16, which for the first 2 years was just pot and ecstasy. Slowly but surely I advanced and now have coke, crack, speed, OxyContin, hydro morph contin, Valium, MDMA, ketamine, MDA, LSD, mushrooms, dilaudid, honey oil, zapp'r, and most recently, 2c-b under my belt.
The first hallucinogen that I ever tried is mushrooms, and I immediately fell in love. I love the giggles, laughing until I'm tearing up and my cheeks hurt, the vivid colours, the movement and the happy mindset. I stuck to mushrooms as my go-to hallucinogen, until I went to a festival called Astral Harvest. Two years ago I was introduced to LSD. What I experienced, I never expected! After hearing about people being fried from it, I was really scared to ever try it. But, on July 3, 2012 I decided to take the plunge, and acid became my new favorite hallucinogen. At the time of my 2c-b trip, I had taken acid 4 or 5 times. Not one of those experiences could have even slightly prepared me for what was going to happen...
On July 3, 2014 my friend CMan and I headed an hour north of our hometown to attend our festival of the year, Astral Harvest. We got there, set up our tent and went on our way to go find our friends that we were meeting there. It was 8:00 at this time, and dusk was setting in. We got half way down the trail toward the main stage and found our friends. Esmeralda, J, and Lia continued down the way.
J and Lia had already consumed some MDMA and mushrooms, so Esmeralda, CMan and I started out on our search for something. We ended up taking some MDMA and a tab of acid each. Even though I had been looking forward to the festival and was happy about who I was with, I wasn't yet in party mode. The music was playing, and it sounded great, but nothing made me want to dance. I felt sluggish and somewhat uninterested. The acid had very little effect on me, no movement, no colors, and no real euphoria. I went to CMan and told him that I needed something more to kick up what I had already taken. Maybe another hit of acid. CMan is one of those people who just knows who to ask to get drugs at these festivals... I'm a little more shy.
By this time, the acid had taken a slight effect and had for about an hour. When CMan came back I asked him what he had gotten ahold of. He said that he got more MDMA and a substance that I had never heard of called 2c-b. He explained to me that it would definitely kick up my high, that it was a really strong drug and extremely dose sensitive. I said I don't care, I want some. He replied that I should wait another hour and if I still feel like I want to take it then he will give it to me. So I agreed.
I waited an hour and still hadn't gotten anything major from the acid (visually or mentally), so I told CMan I was ready to take the 2c-b. I was so excited to see what the difference was! So, he pulled out the pressed pill, broke it in half and gave me half, while splitting the other half between himself and Esmeralda. At this time, we were at the main stage, we hung out there a little bit and then all agreed that we should head over to our favorite stage, Wakah Chan. On our way there, we stopped at a fire pit. At this point I started to feel the effects...
I became ecstatic, excited, giddy and silly. I had a fantastic body high, it felt almost as though I could feel the wind brushing against me, but it didn't feel like wind, it was more like a warm fur blanket brushing against my skin. And the visuals! Oh my God! I find with mushrooms and acid, I see many patterns all over everything. The sky, anything that's one tone. But with the 2c-b, the effects were different. The skies sparkled in the sky, but there was an actual twinkle, they had increased in size and they were dancing around miraculously. My dosage of 2c-b was a success! I felt so light an airy.
My dosage of 2c-b was a success! I felt so light an airy.
I was walking around stumbling a little bit, not because I was that messed up, but because that's what I do when I do hallucinogens. So, we continued on our way to Wakah Chan. The walk there was about 8 minutes.
From Cool to Confusing
At Wakah Chan there is a little tent area that they have with couches, rugs and pillows for people to sit, chill out and relax. So, me and my little crew went over there to sit down and smoke a bowl of weed. J took the first hit. Lia took the second hit. I was #3 and as I inhaled, CMan startled me with, 'You shouldn't smoke weed with 2c-b, it can really kick it up!' With that I exhaled and panicked a little bit. Almost immediately I felt the effects of the pot.
Previous to smoking the pot, I had vibrant colors, a small amount of tracers, and everything was extreme high definition. I was sitting happily joking around with my friends. Almost immediately the mood changed. I started to become overwhelmed with the visuals. They went from light, bright colors to metallic, dark colors. I felt confused and nervous. It seemed like everything was too much to take in. It began to feel like the world was upside down. I tried my best to shrug it off and have a good time. I decided to try dance a little while sitting down, but it wasn't as comforting and fun as I had expected it to be.
While I was sitting in the circle on the ground with my friends a guy in a pink panther suit with a red glowing box asked me if I wanted to touch it. I said yes and proceeded to do so. A few minutes later I started tripping harder. All of the images around me started to become dark. I realized that I was no longer where I was supposed to be, or had been...
I was somewhere eerily familiar and was taken there in a strange way. The best way that I can describe it is windshield wipers. It was like one wiper came from the left hand side and wiped a completely new setting in front of me. I was still in a circle with CMan, J, Lia and Esmeralda but everything else was different. The background of where we were was red and black, as through we were in a cave lit up by red lights and fire. I was in Hell. I was sitting cross-legged and I was unable to move. I could turn my head but my legs and arms were completely immobile. CMan was leaning on my shoulder and he couldn't move either. My face was blank and I was confused. Esmeralda looked at me and said, 'Do we finally look familiar?'
'Do you know from where?'
Now, at this point I don't remember if Esmeralda explained to me where I had known them from before or if I just interpreted it and figured it out on my own. I had originally seen this scene on a salvia trip I had gone on. It was these 4 people and me in a room, stuck there for eternity.
I had originally seen this scene on a salvia trip I had gone on. It was these 4 people and me in a room, stuck there for eternity.
'Do you remember the warning?'
'Oh, fuck! No..! Please!'
'Sorry honey, that's the way it is. You were told what was going to happen. Congratulations, you've officially tripped.'
Now, when she told me that I officially tripped I though two things, the first was that I had TRIPPED and was going to be this high forever. The other thing I thought was that I had taken a bad pill and died.
So, I got into this weird loop where J, Lia, and Esmeralda looked my way, sadly, and I turned toward CMan and he said, 'I love you, Kiki.' 'I love you too, CMan.'
This loop went on for about ten minutes. Just basically re-realizing what happened to me and looking toward my friends for some support.
After ten minutes of this, I kinda snapped myself out of it, had a couple sips of water and started to rock my body back and forth since I couldn't move anything else. It seemed like I was beginning to snap out of my panicked mood, and was going to have a nice, happy trip after all! God, was I ever wrong...
From Mediocre to Malevolent
As I did my rocking 'dance' I looked over at CMan who was looking up to me and smiling. I felt better, I felt lighter and I could move! So, I switched positions and stretched out my legs. I could talk again too! I explained to my friends what was going on in my conversations, where they said the only thing that was actually said was the 'I love you's' between CMan and I. Whatever, at least things were getting better. I guess while I was in my state, a couple people in the crowd had asked about me and how I was doing. Suddenly beside me was a girl crouched down beside me, 'What's she on?' She asked. CMan answered her, '2c-b'
CMan was attached to my arm again. I felt panicked. He went to nibble on my shoulder. It made my shoulder hurt. He had bitten my shoulder and ripped off a big chunk of flesh. I looked over at the girl who was SWIM and someone I had never met. When my eyes reached her face I was extremely terrified. She had red, evil eyes and blood pouring down her face. I looked toward my crew, they too had blood pouring down their face. I looked down at CMan, whom I know the best out of the group. He had devil horns but I could still differentiate the fact that he was my friend, he wasn't evil and that he looked that way because I was on drugs.
In a panicked voice, I told CMan to sit up so that he wasn't leaning against me and he did so. I looked at him, weaves my fingers between his and held his hand as tight as I could, 'It's bad,' I said, 'we have to go.'
Hand in hand we began walking with the other three behind us. I needed to be away from the big crowd. As we walked, everyone that came toward us had blood pouring down their face. I looked up at CMan, whom was originally wearing a blue onesie which was now a black and white pinstripe suit with a red tie, devil horns and blood on his face. Esmeralda was now wearing a bright red dress, had fangs, a witch nose and blood also pouring down her face. I hugged CMan closer. He asked if I was okay. I couldn't speak. I shook my head, no, to him. After breathing and attempting to understand my thoughts, I explained to CMan what I was seeing and what was going on. How terrified I was. He told me to just hold his hand tight, and close my eyes. He would be my guide. We walked for about ten minutes where we stopped at some ports potties to pee. CMan said that he needed to use the washroom. I really didn't want him to, but still proceeded to let go of his hand and let him take care of business.
At this time, I got freaked out by something, grabbed Lia's hand and took off, that's what happened in real life. In my head it was much, much different. The girl who crouched down beside me came up to me and took me by the hand as a guide and started explaining things to me...
'Do you understand what you did? You know that your friends don't even notice that you're gone?' She waved her hand across the scene as if to show me everything, 'this happens all the time. You just wanted to have fun? And now look at you. You're just another dead girl at a party. And where are your friends? They're not even with you, they don't even notice that you're gone. Are those really the people that you want to be calling your friends?'
I contemplated what she was saying... I was dead. That was where I had been when I was sitting down in the circle. My own personal Hell. Unable to move and just sitting there. The crouching girl took me on a tour, and finally lead me over to... Somewhere. It was the gates to Hell. 'You don't have long, make sure you're prepared. You know what you have to do.'
I gulped back my fears, and tried my best to throw caution to the wind.
CMan came up to me and grabbed my hand, 'Kiki, is it starting to look familiar?'
'Yes,' I replied, ' and I'm fucking ready. But, if I'mma do this, I'm not going to be afraid. I'm gonna fuckin' do it like a fuckin' gangsta. I'm gonna enjoy this. I want to be reminded how much it hurts.'
With that, I walked away doing a gangster strut. I walked up to my path to Hell. On my path was everyone I had ever done wrong, anyone I had had a falling out with. Basically anyone whom I had been in a negative situation with. They were all standing in a row beside where I needed to walk. I didn't look at them, I raised my head high, and strutted past them. As I did so, they spat on me. The sky was dark, I was alone but I felt strong and fearless. The path I was walking was made of a flesh-like substance. It was almost as though every time my foot was pressed against the ground, my foot was graphed to the ground, so each step that I took ripped the flesh off the bottom of my foot. It was extremely painful, to say the least. But I kept going. At the end of the path, there was a staircase. But, CMan, J, Esmeralda and Lia were part of the staircase, and we had to be broken down, and painfully ripped apart. How this part looked is too hard to explain. I still don't fully understand what everything was in this scene or how it worked together. However, not long after I seen what I was in the end.
I was taken back to where my drug-induced death had happened and looked down on myself. I had to look down on my body and watch myself deteriorate. Everything looked and smelled like rotting flesh. I watched this happen until all that was left of me was a chunk of my tongue rotting. And that flesh it what I was to be for eternity. That Chinese torture thing, where they drip water on your forehead until there is a hole in your skull? That's what was going to happen to my tongue.
Once that was done, I was with CMan again and we were walking. He asked me if things were starting to look familiar again...
I was with CMan again and we were walking. He asked me if things were starting to look familiar again...
The trip was about to go on repeat! At this point in real life we headed to a tent and passed out. I sat up for a bit tripping out on a picture. Confused and not quite sure if I was dead or alive eventually I passed out and the effects mostly wore off.
My 2c-b trip lasted for 9 Hell Raising hours. The pain that my feet had gotten from walking my path to Hell was still affecting me for the whole next day. But, 8 hours after feeling sober, and having no visual effects, I smoked a joint. Immediately (maybe 5 minutes later), everything looked like it was rotting again. I was back in a bad place. I had to hide out in a tent.
My 2c-b trip really messed with me. I have done acid and mushrooms once each since this trip, and both on both substances I had flashbacks to Hell. Even within the first few weeks when smoking pot, I was highly affected. Flashbacks, weird noises, and feelings of anxiousness. I truly enjoyed 2c-b in the beginning of the trip, and I would love to do it again in a smaller dose, and definitely not smoke weed with it. Everyone that I have talked to said that they have never heard of a trip like this. It was scarring and something that I can't understand or comprehend and a big eye opener. Just because you go into a trip with a positive attitude does not mean that you'll have a good trip, and a bad trip is much harder to get out of then I ever imagined.
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