Citation: Kalosidos. "They Should Have Sent a Poet: An Experience with LSD & MDMA (exp104276)". Erowid.org. Jul 1, 2017. erowid.org/exp/104276
In my younger years, I loved my weed and experimented with mushrooms about a dozen times. I really enjoyed shrooms, so kept upping the dose until the inevitable occurred and I ate my way into what became my first and last bad trip. Can’t recall how many I had, but I thought I was dying (followed by that feeling of being reborn when you realize you’re going to live). That was 35 years ago.
My drug years came to a grinding halt with marriage, kids and the responsibilities of a good job to keep it all together. But I have always been a psychonaut at heart. My wife had one horrific experience with drugs when she was younger (pot brownies) and unfortunately that put an end to any possibility of exploration with her. But I always had the feeling that my life wouldn’t be complete without trying LSD. So eventually, my kids grew up and with the urgency of family responsibility subsiding, I suddenly found myself surfing the darknet for frivolous illegal substances.
I was amazed at the staggering amount of drug related information on the web, and the ease by which illicit substances could be secured on-line. I voraciously consumed trip reports for substance after substance like a kid in a candy store until I found what I was looking for – what appeared to be the holy grail of psychonaut experience – the candyflip. I wanted one.
Rather than plunging in headfirst like I would have in my twenties, I researched endlessly to determine the ideal combo and timing. Heck, the research seemed like half the fun (an arguable point after tripping). Anyway, I decided to try LSD on its own first, and then MDMA alone too. Each trip knocked my socks off, but that’s another story. Finally, after 4 months of learning the ropes, with high quality LSD and very pure MDMA in hand, I was ready to flip.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of my pending adventure. Here I am, nearly a senior citizen, executive manager by day, ready to blow my fucking mind by night. But hey, stereotypes are bullshit anyway. Although my job can be extremely demanding, I am a firm believer in work-life balance and the balance has been tipped waaaay too far the other way for the past 35 years. I am young for my age, and in excellent physical shape. I eat healthy and look after myself. I felt ready in every way.
Nothing would have made this trip more complete than experiencing it with my wife. But that was not to be. And, for that matter, most of my friends would surely have thought I’d fallen off my rocker if I told them what I was up to. Thus, I set out to create the perfect setting for a solo journey. I planned a weekend away in my remote log cabin on the edge of a beautiful forest with a magnificent ocean and mountain view. For all of my adult life this place has been my escape, my salvation from the grind of responsibility. There is nowhere else I feel more at peace and nowhere else I’d rather be.
At T = 00:00, as I wander through the forest, I tuck 150ug of highly rated LSD under my tongue and prepare for the jump to hyperspace as a summer storm begins to brew.
T+00:25 and I can feel the first effects kicking in. This is faster than the 200ug I took on my first trip. Within an hour of ingestion, I can tell I am tripping harder than before. The visuals are stronger and the sense of disassociation is beginning to come on fast, and in waves.
T+01:30 and I am really enjoying myself, reveling in the amazing collage of thoughts and unusual perspectives that are drawing me deeper towards somewhere I have never been. Back in the cabin, the patterns on the logs are flowing and rippling like waves, with iridescent sheens like oil on water. Out on my deck, the trees in the gathering wind are boiling and alive with an ethereal energy. I look at my hands and they are someone else’s against a 2-dimensional backdrop of breathing textures. I shut my eyes and I am suspended in a three dimensional glowing mosaic. I am acutely aware of my body but my mind seems almost disconnected from it.
LSD gives me a kind of nervous energy. I find that I need to move and stretching feels good.
LSD gives me a kind of nervous energy. I find that I need to move and stretching feels good.
I had some stomach nausea on my first trip with LSD alone so after reading more I pre-loaded with Ginko Biloba and a ginger lozenge. No stomach nausea this time. But the trip kept building and by T+02:30, I was fuckin’ flying. Moments of transcendence and giggling over absurd truths were becoming interspersed with thoughts of “Oh man, this shit might be getting too strong”.
At T+03:00 I decide to abort the candyflip. How could I possibly add another Schedule 1 substance to this body that is already dissolving in LSD.
And then it happened – a moment I recognized from my first trip – it’s a subtle yet very distinct change in the energy of the LSD as it peaks and then morphs into a different phase. At this point, the nervous energy in my stomach begins to dissipate into something I can only describe as a wave of building euphoria. It is now T+03:30 and impulsively, I do something that shocks even myself at this moment: I grab my MDMA pill and gobble it down.
Over the next 5 minutes I found myself alternating between thoughts of “you fucking fool” and
“holy shit, hang on dude, get ready to rock ’n roll!” It took 45 minutes to feel the MDMA when I took it alone – but not on LSD. Completely unprepared I was. It took only 15 to 20 minutes for the MDMA to kick in. And this is where I languish for words to describe what happened next.
At first, I lay down on my couch still somewhat overwhelmed with the LSD but full of anticipation, tinged with some anxiety. There’s a lot of chrome fixtures and shiny edges on things in the cabin and I remember noticing how exquisitely they gleamed. And then suddenly – WHAM! The clarity and euphoria of the MDMA surged into every extremity of my body and in what felt like only a moment, the LSD trip was transcended and elevated into a consciousness that defies description. The timing must have been perfect. It was like the MDMA commandeered the LSD trip and synergized the morphing LSD afterglow with the building MDMA euphoria and sense of oneness.
The very first perception that blew me away was visual. I can only describe it as suddenly feeling like I was a kid in a candy store full of vibrant primary colors while simultaneously being in a lighting store, surrounded by warm, vibrant, glowing lamps. My second thought was “Oh my God, I want to have sex with my wife right now!” Of course, knowing this might happen I had been prepared for this contingency. While nothing can beat real sex, I came across something on the internet recently that piqued my interest. I have never bought a sex toy in my life, never had to, and never intended to. But this device, which caught my eye while I was surfing the web one night was getting rave reviews. Some claimed it was the best male sex toy ever created. If I was gonna candyflip without my wife, I decided this was my next best option. I immediately set the thing up (not the easiest thing to do while flying high as a kite) and then set to work on the device.
As fate would have it, both the LSD and the MDMA peaked simultaneously as I explored my very first sex toy. For all intents and purposes, it looked and felt like the real thing. Within seconds, my whole body was flooded with an unimaginable sensation of bliss, a complete oneness with everything around me, and a sense of total, utter awe. It was like holding your newborn child for the very first time and looking into its eyes; like seeing the first magic trick that ever blew you away as a kid, like the moment you suddenly realized how big and endless the universe really is, all rolled into one. While words can’t do it justice, there is one thing that I think can give a sense of it; it’s in the movie Contact. Go to the place near the end where Elly comes out of the wormhole and she suddenly finds herself with the entire star system of Vega spread out before her; it’s the part where she says “…they should have sent a poet”. Watch that one minute clip of the film and you will get a sense of the depth and intensity of a candyflip.
I lost track of time as I made love to my toy. My whole body seemed to shimmer with electric sensation. Amazingly, orgasm didn’t seem as important as the experience itself, because it already seemed to feel like one long, continuous orgasm. In fact when I did reach orgasm, as fantastic as it was, it wasn’t the explosive moment I had expected because of the baseline bliss. It was more like a glorious transition into another phase of the trip. The body load throughout was magnificent, and the intense colorful glow of everything around me seemed to add an almost carnival sense of festivity and wonder to it all.
I’d read how great water feels on the body in a flip so my next endeavor was the shower stall. Oh my God, water never felt so good. Set on a relatively low pressure, I let the warm water trickle down my body, and it made me writhe in pleasure as it tickled every nerve ending in my body from head to toe. I drained the hot water tank, and then begged it to produce more.
T+4:30 and I am nestled amongst cushions between two high quality speakers and set my favorite tunes to start rolling. I didn’t move for 3 hours. Once embedded in that fourth dimensional universe of sound, I was paralyzed in a journey of beauty, deep thought and by the mere joy of existence. During this time I thought deeply about friends and family. It allowed me to see my life from a unique perspective; to see where I could be more giving, more understanding, and more accepting.
It allowed me to see my life from a unique perspective; to see where I could be more giving, more understanding, and more accepting.
I felt utter compassion for a friend who is dying of cancer and became determined to engage with him in more meaningful ways. I pondered on all that I am, and the mystery of who I may yet be. I traveled a lifetime in those three hours.
T+7:30, I finally stir from my den of iniquity. I am still deep in the afterglow but the trippyness has begun to fade. It is very late and I feel almost ready to sleep. In a final attempt to prolong the moment, I smoke a quick bowl. But it somehow seemed to pale in comparison to what I had just come through. By about T+8:30 I drifted off into a pleasant sleep…….
I think I slept for about 4 to 5 hours. When I got up, I was surprised at how stoned I still felt. The day after I did LSD alone was fabulous and I had a kind of warm glow that stayed with me the entire day. I expected a hangover after trying MDMA alone – and although it didn’t happen, I did feel slightly off but not in a bad way. However, the candyflip hangover was significant. Not like that poisoned feeling after drinking too much, but feeling abnormal. By the time I got home about 12 hours after I woke up, I was convinced my family would notice there was something odd about me. It was kind of like a lingering sense of disassociation. It wasn’t until the next day that I felt relatively normal again.
Will I candyflip again? Almost certainly. But this combination is hard on my brain. I will wait awhile, perhaps a year or even more. Not so much because it’s hard on the body, but also because I can’t imagine anything being as good as the very first time. I think one way to help preserve the magic is to not overdo it. Besides, I’ve got some mescaline burning a hole in my pocket, ready to try for the very first time……
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