Nothing Special... Until I Got Insane
Citation: ivo. "Nothing Special... Until I Got Insane: An Experience with DOB & Various (exp104285)". Erowid.org. Apr 21, 2017. erowid.org/exp/104285
(If you are only interested in the trip and donít care about me, jump to the *)
A year and a half ago, I was addicted to speed for 4 months. This was probably the lowest point in my lifetime when experimenting with drugs. After I realized, that I was an addict, I did everything to stop. The internet was of great help. Nevertheless, I always managed to keep my work and social life intact.
Lately Iíve even managed to integrate meditation in my daily routine and regular workout has always been a part of my life. I never had any issues when I was at school. Excepting that time when I was addicted, taking drugs has never had a bad influence on my health. But probably the worst experiences I had on any drug were on alcohol. That was, before I had tried any other drug. Iím not blaming it. It was clearly my fault for drinking too much of it at that time. But it surprises me, that this substance is so accepted by society, while itís one of the most dangerous.
I guess I consider myself an experienced user. Iíve repeatedly tried LSD, 2C-B, 25i-NBOMe, Salvia, DMT, Speed, Ketamine, MDMA, Hash, Weed (of course), N2O, Shrooms, Changa, DXM, MXE (last five not so often), Mescaline (once), Cocaine (twice), Morphine, Opium (both once), GHB (once), 2C-P (once), Ayahuasca (once), Mephedrone (onceÖ right now), 5-MEO-Dipt (once) and Iím probably forgetting something. Iím not the kind that likes opiates. The feelings that Morphine gave me were unexpectedly breathtaking. I like drugs, because I find them interesting. Morphine just made me feel really nice. This is the same reason why I stopped taking MDMA.
Although stimulants just make me feel nice, too, I like the sharpness, motivation and fast-thinking ability they give me. I feel able to lose myself in a flow of interconnecting ideas while writing or talking with friends. The secret to not getting addicted is, in my case, only taking it for fun, never for work. Just like Marilyn Manson said, never take drugs if you are feeling down, only when your are feeling great!
Iím fascinated with the idea, that a substance, a third agent, can totally change the way you perceive whatís between you and the world. Iíve always kept in mind, that a high is only an illusion (except that one damn time on speed). But then again, Iím really convinced that everything is an illusion as well. The only difference is, that being sober, I am living an illusion that has been evolutionary conditioned for my survival.
After playing around with this and the other substance, and always trying to do something new, for me, taking drugs got a little bit boring. Every substance I repeatedly consumed, was like a movie I had already watched.
Every substance I repeatedly consumed, was like a movie I had already watched.
So what I did was, when planning the next experience, I prepared many drugs, so I could combine them, to achieve an unknown state of consciousness. For example taking the visuals and spiritual, creative part of psychedelics and combining them with the chaotic, beautiful nonsenseness of ketamine (this is one of my favorites).
Noticing that consuming and investigating drugs was taking too much of my time, that I could have used studying, reading, learning something, doing sports, etcÖ I came to the conclusion that I was going to plan a final big trip.
What I had available this time was DOB, LSA, 2C-B, 25i-NBOMe, MDMA, Ketamine, MXE, Hash Changa, DMT, Mephedrone, Speed and GHB. Before just taking everything, I informed myself the best I could about this substances and the combinations of each. Being DOB, MXE, 25i-NBOME and LSA are rather rare substances, it was impossible for me to make sure that it was safe combining them. Reading about people dropping dead when taking too much DOB or 25i-NBOMe made me worry a bit. I also had never tried DOB and LSA before, and MXE and GHB were still something new for me. However, I had already combined 2C-B, 25i-NBOMe and LSD without any dangers (although I didn't like the trip. I just got lost, interpreting the world around me as an unexisting story and woke up realizing that what I had just experienced was pure bull-shit. Since that time, I never again combined such powerful substances all at once). Noticing that DOB was kind of similar to LSD, gave me the feeling that it would be safe to combine those, if I didn't overdo it.
I put the Mephedrone and Speed aside, because being both stimulants, I thought they would just act against all other drugs. I also put GHB aside, because I read that it could be fatal if taking too much Ketamine.
So my plan was
1. taking 1,5 mg blotter of DOB and enjoying it until I knew the essence of the effect
2. taking 10 seeds of LSA
3. taking 20 mg of 2C-B
4. taking 1mg blotter of 25i-NBOMe
(5.) Maybe taking 60 mg of MDMA (I wasn't sure, because I hate the comedown, especially on psychedelics)
5. taking 50 mg of Ketamine at once
6. taking 25 mg of MXE at once
7. taking 50 mg of Ketamine little by little
8. taking 25 mg of MXE little by little
9. smoking DMT and/or Changa with Hash at the very end
As always I didn't stick to the plan. Itīs good to have a plan, but itís more important to act responding to the current conditions.
* I took the DOB around 23 oīclock. I wonít be able to name the exact time. I wasnít aiming to write a scientific journal, but an experience from my point of view. Since I had two days to do whatever I wanted, time didnít matter. I knew it would take a while until I felt the DOB, so I weighed all of the planned doses before the trip started, to make sure I would take that dose and not more or less. I also copied the duration and dosing charts of each drug and pasted it on a new document, so I could have an easier overview.
I grinded the LSA seeds and boiled water to make a tea. After I was done, I started preparing the hash. I was already feeling something at this point. It was probably around 1 oíclock. At this moment, my brother called me, because there was something he wanted to show me.
It was a stupid TV-show. I donít remember the name, but it was really funny. My brother was sober. He was taking a pause, because he thought he was taking too much stuff lately. Otherwise he would have probably joined me. Moreover, he had to wake up early the next day, so he couldnít even be my tripsitter.
I didnít wanted to watch TV, but I just couldnít stop. The show ended around 2íclock.
The DOB was already making itself noticed. The visuals were a little bit like LSD, but the feeling I had on the inside was rather like 2C-B or 25i-NBOMe. It was way below my expectations, so I drank the LSA-tea. I started watching a youtube playlist with trippy stuff that I had prepared days before. Time passed and passed and I didnít feel anything.
I was thinking about taking the 2C-B, but to make sure it was safe, I searched for a report, where someone had taken DOB and 2C-B. I found a really nice one, about a guy that called himself an artist. The feelings he experienced were described so wonderfully, that I got motivated and took the 2C-B.
After a while I started feeling it, but again, it was waaaay below my expectations. My visual field was a little blurry because of the different colors appearing. After waiting a while and expecting it to come up, nothing happened. At this point I decided to take the 25i-NBOMe. I must admit, that I was really nervous, because I couldnít find anything about a 25i-NBOMe and DOB combination. Would it have been LSD, I wouldnít had even doubt about it. Anyway I thought that anything was better than staying in that mediocre high.
I put the blotter in my mouth, and that disgusting bitter tasting spread out across my mouth. I had forgotten how strong this taste was, but I felt it even stronger than usual. Again, paranoiac thoughts invaded my head. I was constantly checking my heart rate and moving my hands and feet to check any vasoconstriction issue.
After 5 minutes, the visuals started getting stronger and stronger. 5 minutes was far beyond normal. I was used to wait an hour before feeling anything. There I really got scared and thought that my life was more valuable than this trip. Furthermore, I didnít want to lose control of the trip. Even if it was safe, I would have been worrying the whole time about my well-being. I took the blotter out of my mouth and put it on a piece of toilet paper. I started doing jumping jacks, running in the same place, drinking water and stretching, just to make sure that everything was alright with my circulatory system.
Now I had stronger visuals, I could feel the music inside of me, but stillÖ nothing new.
I decided to snort the Ketamine and this time really expected it would blow my mind. Visuals started getting less blurry and more concrete, butÖ I was still getting bored.
I snorted the MXE, because I had read that it could strengthen the effect from the Ketamine, although I had also read that it could get confusing. Confusion was exactly what I wanted. I snorted it and felt very comfortable. Still, I couldnít believe it, I wasnít satisfied.
Desperately (the sun had already risen), I took the MXE (25 mg) and Ketamine (50 mg) I still had, mixed it up and snorted it all at once. I canít even describe how I was feeling now. It was a K-holish sense, that I couldnít control my body, but only watch, at the same time felt that everything was ok the way it was, that I had to do something and that the music was inside of me. I played a Liquid-Trap-Mix on Youtube , opened the curtains and started to dance.
After a while, I got the idea to play some videos of my brother and me dancing, so I wouldnít feel alone. I turned on the webcam and kept dancing. Then I started getting obsessed with the videos and the camera. I opened every video of me dancing I had (like 3) with different players, so I could watch them at the same time. I stopped filming myself, so a new video would appear, and kept filming again. I opened the new video and opened it at the side to the other videos. Then I rearranged them on a second TV-screen that I had connect with a HDMI-Cable. Then I again stopped and started filming, and opened this video. Every time a video had finished playing, I played it again. This may sound simple, but at the moment, it was really challenging. I didnít even know what I was doing, but I felt that it was something big.
After getting the whole screen covered with mini videos of little mesí dancing, other mesí just watching myself and others rearranging videos, I wanted to cover the whole screen with videos, where I could see the screen covered with videos in the video. I have no clue how long I did this. Maybe 5 hours or so. The mix I had played was repeating itself automatically, because of an application I have on my tablet. Iím not the kind of person that is used to see himself in pictures and videos. Every time I do, it seems to me, that that person is not me. So I donít immediately accept myself the moment I see a picture of me. However in that phase of my experience, it was all about watching myself and my natural reactions. The cause of my reaction wasnít important at all, but I got to know myself at most superficial level and enjoyed it.
I started to sober up. I heard that my brother was taking a shower, so he was already awake. I told him I wanted to show him something. He said he had no time. I insisted and he came quickly to my room, where he found out about what I was doing and reacted with an epic ďwhat the heck!?Ē. I was really happy after seeing his reaction. A purpose of art, is creating something that is unexpected. He said that I was an idiot. I laughed and told him that he had to accept, that what I had done was something cool. He said so and left.
I knew that I was done with my ďart-pieceĒ, but like a writer that canít finish his masterpiece, I didnít dare to close all windows and stop filming. In that activity I felt totally safe and accepted by myself. Although it was insanity, it was allowed insanity. If I had never ended with whatever I was doing, It would have been insanity even for me. I decided to finish my work putting my computer in front of my TV-screen, so there would be a mirror-to-mirror effect and took some pictures, to not forget what had happened and to show it to friends (now that I think about it, I feel rather ashamed because of that).
I started turning off the music, then closing the videos and then stopped recording. I was really tired and worn-out. I hadnít eaten anything since 23 oíclock and it was already like 14 oíclock and wanted to get some sleep. I was sure that it wouldnít be possible, unless I smoked some Hash. But if I smoked Hash, I would instantly fall asleep without eating. I went to the kitchen to fry some eggs. Before getting to eat, I washed the dishes, because I wanted to get things done, even though I felt like passing out. Then I finally got to eat something, watched some music videos on TV. I was very disappointed how artificial and fake everything looked.
After I was done, I went upstairs. I wasnít ready to go to sleep. I convinced myself, that I wouldnít be satisfied, unless I would smoke some DMT. Although I had prepared one package of 40 mg of yellow DMT, 100 mg of Changa and 60 mg of white DMT, I decided only to smoke the white one with Hash. I cut the Hash in smaller pieces and made a bowl with little tobacco on the bottom, Hash in the middle and DMT on top. I got a little nervous, because I hadnít smoked DMT for a long time. I meditated a little while and felt better. I smoked smoothly, because I wasnít expecting to smoke the whole bowl at once. It hit me much harder than I had thought it would. At the very beginning everything in my room around me turned into some kind of manga animation (I had been reading a lot of manga lately). This troubled me. I was sure that the MXE and Ketamine were affecting the trip and hadnít expected it to be this way. I thought the DMT would had taken me out of the MXE-after-effects. I remembered to keep calm and breath. Now that I had smoked, I could do nothing but observe.
I felt how I had wet and shit myself. I didnít panic. This was not the first time this had happened to me on DMT. I checked and realised that, again, it was only my impression and I was actually clean. In front of me a puzzle of symbols moved and communicated with me (I donít know if Iím the only one, but this happens to me everyt ime. I never get lighty visuals with tunnels of snakes). I was thinking clearly and really quickly while interpreting the symbols, like guns, crosses, stinky fingers, thumbs-up and so on. It told me about my worries and how I should handle them, about my goals and how I can achieve them and how it would be best for me, to stay concentrated in the moment, to get where I want.
I cleaned up my room while coming down of the DMT. There was still something in the bowl. I had had enough DMT, but I thought that what was left in the water pipe would be mainly Hash. I smoked and the DMT trip began once again. Once more, I felt mistakenly that I had shit and wet myself. The codes began to move in front of me again. It told me that I should go to sleep. I thought so, too, but before ending the day, I grabbed a pen and wrote down the most important ideas that I had acquired. Most of the letters were incomplete while I wrote them, but that didnít matter. I wasnít thinking about reading it anyway. Besides, once more I felt like an artist.
I got on my bed, still on DMT and fell asleep slowly, around 15 oíclock. I woke up at 23 oíclock feeling incredibly well. 4 hours later I went to sleep again.
In conclusion, the whole trip was rather disappointing, but not wasted. I expected the psychedelics and the Ketamine to hit harder. I could had let the 25i-NBOMe blotter inside my mouth, but I donít regret this. At that moment it felt to risky. I rather regret taking the DOB, but then again, it was my first time trying it and it was on my checklist. About the LSA, maybe I have to take it alone, so I can feel something. The DMT really was something. Not only was it fun and interesting, moreover it helped me to fix my daily life.
Next time, I think I will combine 2C-B and 25i-NBOMe and take enough Ketamine to end up in a K-Hole (for me 180 mg). The MDMA and GHB could add some more emotion to the whole experience. Maybe next time Iíll take them before the Ketamine. Although the MXE somehow saved this last experience, it was not what I was looking for, so Iíll probably leave it all out or just gonna take 25 mg with the Ketamine. I should have some rolled joints, too. When nothing seems to work, THC can boost a trip or at least make it interesting or cozy enough. For now, Iím going to try to think about other things.
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