DOSE:	10 mg	oral	Pharms - Fluoxetine	(daily)
	30 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

I struggled with finding the right kind of medication. This was a hard and long process but I really have never been happier. I’ve been on a lot of psych meds, not all are listed here. Also, because of my current job some specifics will be left out.

A year ago I was on 20mg of Fluoxetine or generic Prozac for a panic disorder that I developed when I was twenty years old. I had been diagnosed with depression when I was 14, it’s been off and on since then but this was something new and terrifying. After a few big changes in my life I moved back in with my parents. I was joining a program called Americorps in five months and needed to save some money. The Prozac had helped me so much, and combined with meditation (one hour a day) I felt amazing. It was like I was really alive for the first time in years; I could feel things much deeper and I felt great. I was starting to put my life back together. Small side effects like reduced libido and appetite came about, and after a while I felt like I was in a dream. Eventually I wanted to try getting off Prozac, I figured that meditation was where my newfound zeal for life came from and I would be fine. Being on medication for life was not appealing.

After a few months the panic disorder and dysthymia came back, I decided to go to a new doctor to discuss what I was feeling. After talking, he suspected ADD and two months of trying new meds followed. In order I tried: Ativan, Xanax, Buspar, Strattera, Effexor, and finally Adderall.

For the most part nothing really worked, I wanted to avoid benzos, Strattera and Effexor just made me feel like shit and physically sick, and Buspar gave me the spins. The Adderall helped me so much though. At 10mg XR once a day I felt weird at first, but it was like the concrete brick around my brain had finally been broken open, I was calm, anxiety gone, and I stopped thinking about everything at once. It only lasted about four hours though. We talked about Prozac again, but I decided I wanted to wait and see if my year in Americorps would alleviate some depression.

I continued on 10mg of Adderall for about four months, it was still working but not lasting long enough. I only took it about four times a week. By lunch I couldn't feel it at all anymore. While I was at home on vacation I got the dosage upped to 20mg and this helped, but still didn't last long enough. My second assignment in Americorps was a humanitarian crisis, and was the most meaningful thing I've ever done in my life. This involved working 90 hours a week though, and usually I did 40mg of Adderall a day. The first dose was usually gone by 2PM, I ate and then took another. I didn't feel like I was abusing them, it was purely to keep my mind on the mission.

After returning to Colorado for a break between assignments I realized even after all my life changing experiences and new friends made, there was some kind of wall in my head, something keeping the dysthymia from lifting. It is hard to describe but it almost felt like a physical blockage. No matter what I accomplished, the feeling was always there. I remember thinking that I just shouldn't feel like this and I needed to change. I was just so sick of feeling like that.

I started back on 10mg of fluoxetine, and with the 20mg of Adderall it was pretty weird at first. It felt like the fluoxetine killed the amphetamine, I was focused but the mood lift from the Adderall was gone completely. I almost gave up, but having taken a few psych meds before I stuck with it, and I'm so glad I did!

A month into the fluoxetine, still at 10mg, the two medicines started to have a great synergy. The fluoxetine changed some of my views. I can catch my negative thought patterns and turn them around. I felt optimistic and alive like I had a year ago, and the Adderall helped a lot with the ADD. I feel like I'm finally on track with my life and I'm now working on catching up to my peers. The fluoxetine seems to extend the duration of the Adderall, while also making it impossible to get high. This is perfect, I can't abuse it and I also don't need a huge dose. I'm on 30mg XR now and I think this will be fine for a while. It also gets rid of the crash from Adderall.

The fluoxetine has different side effects this time which is strange, I have to piss a lot even when not on Adderall. Kinda like I didn't get it all out the first time, but it's getting better. My sex drive also is unchanged (maybe even better because I can finally feel!) I believe it's because it's a lower dose though.

A couple weeks ago I thought trying Strattera again would be worth a try, as I am still traveling and won't be home for three months. Getting Adderall prescriptions is really hard out here, especially in Texas. It was the same as last year though. It left me feeling focused, but tired and depressed getting worse by the day. I abandoned that idea, and found a doctor that would prescribe me Adderall after talking to my doctor back home. Now that I’m back on steady doses of Adderall and fluoxetine I just feel great, and I haven’t been able to say that in a long time. It’s amazing what depression can do to me. I hope this helped somebody, going through meds is a shitty time but well worth it if you can find the right one. It's been a couple of months and I feel the meds have stabilized at a good spot.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104355
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Jan 15, 2017	Views: 5,862
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Amphetamines (6), Pharms - Fluoxetine (80) : Not Applicable (38), Medical Use (47), Retrospective / Summary (11)