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Love-hate Relationship With This Love of Mine
Etizolam
by OrganicJunkie
Citation:   OrganicJunkie. "Love-hate Relationship With This Love of Mine: An Experience with Etizolam (exp104533)". Erowid.org. Dec 13, 2018. erowid.org/exp/104533

 
DOSE:
  oral Etizolam (daily)

BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb


I've been taking etizolam for a while now, ever since a 'business' acquaintance of mine introduced it to me and got me in with a sorta secret online vendor selling his (or her) own press Etiz pills. Although Etizolam isn't 'controlled' here in the UK, you still need someone to supply it to you.

Anyway, around the time I first used Etiz I was still able to get hold of Valium and Xanax, both of which would have been absolute preferences over this legal alternative at the time. I was only really using these type of drugs to get myself to sleep after using stimulants, to numb me out whilst I was hungover or on a comedown, or to add to the sedation of opiates. I had determined there was no recreational value to benzodiazepines so the possibility of abuse was non-existent to me. Within a year or so I found myself unable to source Xanax, and getting hold of Valium was really hit and miss, so I went for the obvious choice of Etizolam. It was cheap, it was legal, and it did the job. It got me to sleep. It made me feel better. It relaxed me.... It made me confident. It made me feel cozy. It made everything better. It made everything easier. It made me not give a fuck. It made me forget things. It made me wake up in random places with no recollection of the previous night. - I guess that's kinda funny though, it's always interesting trying to piece a night together.

What isn't that funny is finding myself worried and stressed at the fact I only have a few left. Being agitated and irritable when I've got none left. Disinterested in, and frustrated by the presence of other people. Until the next order turns up, then everything's alright again. Yeah, everything's fine, I'm relaxed, content, care-free. But where did that last year disappear to?

To cut this personal, and probably uninteresting story short, I'll conclude by saying the following:

As a drug user with great self control, and no real previous dependence in any of my extensive drug use; I find Etizolam not only moreish, but I suppose, mentally addictive. I was dependant, numerous times, and I'm confident it'll happen again when I next have money spare to buy a load.

I don't want to deter anyone from this drug, because I'd probably go as far as to say it's a good drug. It doesn't seem dangerous at all and I would definitely choose this over diazepam (Valium) any day, because it feels nicer and doesn't last as long.

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 104533
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 19 
Published: Dec 13, 2018Views: 912
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Etizolam (568) : General (1), Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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