DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 1:15	˝ hits	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:00	repeated	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide

My partner and I decided to take our first LSD trip together. We took one tab each at around 6pm, I kept mine on my tongue for about 15 minutes before it turned completely soggy and disintegrated.

After about another 15-30 minutes my body started to feel strange, strange twisty tingly sensations in my skin and laughing/giggling when I wouldn’t normally. A very positive feeling of happiness and carefree ease. We had taken it during the course of the evening, so the room was dark and we had on a coloured light which we could change colour, it lit up the room nicely, some spot lights in the corners of the room, a small laptop and tv displaying some visuals in the background. We had put together a playlist of songs we thought we would enjoy on our trip.

We did a few balloons and the strange feeling after a nitrous high seemed to be lasting longer than usual this is when we knew our trip was beginning . Textures started feeling weird and more intense against our hands, and they seemed to dance slightly. Body temperature was somewhat comfortable, we were feeling warmer than usual. An hour or so in we decided to up the dose, splitting half of another tab. After a short while we thought we’d take a walk outside. We couldn’t control our smiling, and just kept our heads down as we walked out and down the roadside, it wasn’t too late, people were still out, children with their parents. Smiling and talking very happily, I would catch myself after minutes of smiling too intensely, realising people are noticing that we were tripping. Direction was becoming hard to navigate, short term memory loss, at one point we stop and I feel completely lost, like I was never gonna find my way home again, pure horror, even though we had just walked a block down, we look up and see the sign of our hotel, reassured I say let's go home.

We start walking, my partner has to pull me towards him as I'm not realising that I'm almost walking into people. We get closer and we think maybe we can go back to a bench and sit for a while, try and enjoy the outdoors. We sit, completely disconnected from the world staring into space, and it's like the way everything was happening was so erratic, one second were sat there and then the next two hobos suddenly appear walking slowly towards us, one of them, he's African with dreadlocks, and stops in front of us, gets real close, shakes our hands and strikes a conversation with my partner as to why he hasn’t married me yet. That whole duration my mind kept shifting between “this is quite amusing, he's just bored he will leave soon”, and “this guys gonna mug us and then kill us”, I felt very scared and unsafe, I lost all balance of where I was and I kept looking over to my partner who seemed so comfortable in the situation. I knew our trip wasn't in full force yet and this could get seriously worse. The homeless man kept talking, and I don’t know how we managed it, but we eventually got back into the hotel room. The corridors were very trippy, chequered style carpeting, I started dancing around a few times, all the while talking about sitting on that bench and how afraid I was. I felt much safer and happier when I was in my own space again.

We had brought with us lots of paper and coloured pens. This was probably one of the best ideas for the trip. There was an abstract painting on the wall of a building in our room and all of a sudden it just started making sense to us. Abstract art was amazing. The colours, shapes, perspective. Surely these artists must've been tripping balls all the while. Visuals got much stronger. Staring at my partner's face, he was so clear but everything else around him glistened and glowed like on a totally different dimension photoshopped in. The world looked so strange from our window, watching people walk by down the road, mindlessness, in a robotic trance.

The colours from the pens changed by every stroke, a whole spectrum of one colour per line, it felt so good to draw; the pressure of the pen on paper and following it with your eyes felt so fulfilling. You couldn’t concentrate for too long on one thing though. Everything we did, I had such strong urges to write it down like “it took us so long to turn the speaker on”. Technology does not work with us on LSD. Our minds just completely refused to cooperate and understand what was going on, the mouse took forever to move and click. The whole idea of pen lids seemed so stupid. Packaging, there was 0% patience to open a box of chocolate properly, we didn’t understand why we needed so many lids, all we wanted to do was colour. Doritos (nachos) was a new found love, the crunch, my partner expressed how every time I chewed I expressed myself so genuinely “THIS IS AMAAAAAAAAZING” over and over again. It truly was, and the salsa dip, the different temperatures and textures, blew my head off. I could feel the textures and crunch inside my brain, it was amazing. I wish we had more textures and flavours to test out.

Nitrous oxide on LSD for me was such a profound experience. As our trip got crazier, the “trip” on the balloons did too. We did balloons on songs and the visuals were just mind blowing. Patterns that revolved and the way they centred themselves in front of our eyes and then inside of our minds and souls, endless spirals, round and round, they spun endlessly. I felt such a connection like we spun with them too. I saw some specific colours over and over like blue, orange, pink and green which I ran to a piece of paper to write down because they felt so significant to me. Green was an overall colour I saw and felt everywhere, I knew it was my friend, I found comfort in it. Each spiral defined itself. Represented us in a way that we realised that it was us, we were these spirals, we were staring into this mirror of ourselves. We then decided to draw while doing a balloon. Pens in hand, every visual, and endless spiral spinning round and around our whole being was pulled into drawing intricate lines so small then gradually we would repeat it, and repeat the same pattern, slowly getting bigger. This was an endless motion of picking another colour, drawing another line, picking another colour, drawing another line, they got bigger that they spread over the page. One particular balloon, as we entered this robotic trance, I glanced up at my partner and the information my brain could decipher at that point was that it was as though we were puppets being controlled by an extra-terrestrial force, like a scene from a movie, that’s what we looked like, and it was complete madness, that if anyone was to see that from an outside perspective we would be locked up in a padded room. We drew these patterns and spirals over and over. We would start in one corner and then our patterns and lines would collide and it'd become one big picture.

I kept repeating “an idea of an idea of an idea”. We would sit and talk so intensely about these spirals and feelings, and how much of what we've ever known about life and religion just seemed to fit around that state perfectly and made so much sense to us. I gained a new dimension of perspective of life of where we’ve come from. I heard a consistent hum, I felt it to be the hum of the universe. I felt warm, so pure, so ethereal, that warm blanket spreading over me. This was a bliss, an understanding of our inner spirals, how we eventually become one big spiral from a distance that is unimaginable. This feeling of how a fetus would feel in a womb, protected, serene and full of hope. These spirals that the universe gave birth too, and if we were to look beyond this life that we created ourselves from our ideas, we would find ourselves in this hum, in this echoed purity. It felt as though every time I did a balloon it was a future me sending the current me a message ; on one particular page I have written “we are pure, I hope that’s enough”. The idea of an idea; these spirals which consistently warm around one another, releasing energy, echoing an idea which another spiral will take into its own, and repeat it to the others. That disgusting doubt we have about ourselves about how ugly we are and we convince ourselves we are worthless was gone in those moments and I felt my significance. Over thousands of years, we’ve only echoed each other cos that’s how we've always felt comfortable.

Watching TV, we noticed how everything is so precisely scripted and constructed. From the way we look, from thinking that making a certain facial expression would look good, to how someone should react to a certain situation. I could not stop laughing. We kept saying “this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” and really it was. Our lives have been built around a construction of someone else’s idea, and so on. Nothing is original, and everything is so petty and meaningless. Forever stuck in these traps we’ve made for humanity. Yet our spirals still spin endlessly, the universe keeps expanding. The shapes I saw makes so much sense, what seemed like just a circle at the beginning in my mind beating, turned into the shape of a tear drop which spun in the endless spiral. This tear drop shape. We see it everywhere. The way that we join our thumb with our index finger in the meditative pose is not a circle but a teardrop in my opinion, the endless spinning. It grows and grows. Everything. There’s always a perspective. Like a scene on TV, the way our buildings are structured, there’s a never ending perspective. It’s all so subconscious. We’re forever spinning. At one point the tear drop changed shape which I cannot explain I would have to draw out, very Hindu scripture like or something.

I felt at peace, I felt I realised my place in the universe, and I don’t fear death as much anymore. Throughout the whole trip, whenever I looked at the time, time had been passing so slowly and I loved it. The night was eventually wearing off and we turned off all the lights, but the visuals were still so amazing, endless colours and shapes, feeling like we could move them and shape them with our finger tips. Not knowing if we slept when we closed our eyes, morning came and there was barely a hangover, a very happy feeling of content and perspective.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 104801
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: Feb 19, 2022	Views: 972
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