Citation: wanderer. "We Settle for Pleasure We Revel in Pain: An Experience with LSZ (exp105144)". Erowid.org. Jul 25, 2016. erowid.org/exp/105144
||(blotter / tab)
| T+ 5:00
First of all I want to apologise all readers for my English as it is not my native language.
Saturday evening, after a busy day, alone in my place. For the couple of days before that trip I had been haunted with the idea that I need to sit down and do something with one of my music tracks I had created some time before (I am not a musician it is just a hobby of mine). A week earlier a postman had brought me some magical paper, so to speak and taking that into account I decided to play some music that night and enhance my experience with ~100ug of LSZ.
Before I took off I had taken a shower, tidied up my place, prepared my workspace and lit up a small candle on my bedside chest. Just for the mood. Also I had made a green tea with cardamom and peppermint.
Although I have taken couple of notes during the trip, the most of given times are just approximations. Also it is important to note that this was my first time with any members of the lysergamides family.
this was my first time with any members of the lysergamides family.
8:20pm Placed 2/3rds of a blotter tab on my tongue
8:50pm I feel like being hit with the first wave of something
9:20pm Every single sound is like a small universe with the whole story behind it, oh my god, it's so good to hear the music again
9:24pm I can catch every single sound and note, also it's very easy to visualize what I need to do with a sound to make it express itself better. Also certain sounds have very strong sexual impact on me giving me an erection without any sexual thoughts whatsoever.
9:30pm I notice slight muscle trembling from time to time and a slightly uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. In my mind muscle trembling may be due to the temperature in the room, but the stomach thing is most likely related to the whole bunch of psychosomatic symptoms I have been working with for the last year and a half. Those negative feelings do not affect my overall mood, I feel very joyful and happy that I was given that opportunity to explore the acoustic world. So far I have noticed no CEVs or OEVs at all, however the colours are slightly brighter.
10:40pm The colours get even more brighter, but still no fractals whatsoever. And the music? My god... pure eargasm...
11:20pm I am starting to have some psychological insights. The music still sounds otherworldly, but slowly I am spending more and more time contemplating the silence and the thoughts that go through me.
11:42pm I feel very sad and left alone, sitting here it this lonely room. I am thinking of the things I've done wrong and people I've caused pain.
11:50pm I reach for my guitar. Although I am very poor guitar player, it feels really good and gives me some sort of a melancholic relief that I can slowly pull the strings one after another in a quite sad fashion.
00:10am I take Leary's Psychedelic Experience from my book shelf and begin to read. Especially the part pasted below had a very deep meaning to me during that time (I have my copy in my native language but pasted original version for the readers' sake).
Exercise humble trust and remain fearless.
You will merge into the heart of the Blessed Ratnasambhava,
In a Halo of Rainbow Light,
And attain liberation in the Realm Endowed with Glory.
00:30am Pain in my stomach makes me feel nauseous. I am still reading Leary's instructions in the candlelight.
01:05am Couple of seconds ago I threw up. It had strong psychological meaning to me and what was strange is that when I was vomiting and for couple of seconds afterwards I had the only CEVs I had that night.
During that time a thought popped up in my mind that the fact I threw up a second ago may be due to the fact I had intoxicated myself and I may require a help. Fortunately ten seconds later I was back in my neutral thinking state.
01:27am I feel better but still I have quite painful stomach cramps from time to time. I decide to drink a solution of vitamin c, as vitamin c in high doses produces diarrhea. My dose of vitamin c was far to low to produce diarrhea, but I thought that this may be a good idea to get a relief, and also it's pretty safe.
01:35am I am getting back to the music, it's still magical...
02:05am Again I am totally captivated by the music, though my stomach still fights its own battle
02:18am I think the plateau is over
02:32am Yep, definitely the plateau is over, the music still sounds great but has lost that something. All the negative effects also have decreased.
03:41am The first yawn proclaims the end of the night.
03:50am The nausea came back again.
04:05am And there was the second vomiting, as the first time it was only saliva and water.
04:15am I feel surprisingly good and the only thing I need now to achieve pure happiness is couple of hours of sleep.
06:30am Finally I fall asleep.
11:00am I wake up. The whole day I was a bit tired because of the small amount of sleep, besides that I felt great.
I did not expect that kind of dose would hit me so strong. Anyway I consider this trip to be very good and successful. Especially I am very happy of my mindset when things moved towards bad trip. Also I am glad with all the changes I have made to my musical track during that night. It's very pleasurable to work like that :) and one more thing... Leary wherever you are you are a genius!
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