Citation: Just Say Know. "Made a Profound Impact on My APD: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose (exp105291)". Erowid.org. Jun 24, 2021. erowid.org/exp/105291
sexual orientation: pansexual and bisexual.
bipolar, ADHD, Autistic, and APD (avoidant personality disorder). I havenít been on meds until recently, celexa (now slightly increased) and abilify.
(separate and individual summaries) Nicotine, caffeine, cannabis, cannabis resin, LSA, amphetamines (age 5-13), nitrous oxide, powdered wormwood, and lucid dreaming. These are the forms of altered consciousness Iíve explored.
Nicotine: for me nicotine is enjoyable every now and then; but nicotine also feels ďtoxicĒ. It makes me feel slightly weak, I notice. And I rarely enjoy it as much as other drugs. i mainly vape. Before I smoked a few cigarettes in my life. I also feel this weakness while chain vaping. The vape isnít good for me though! Because it still contains nicotine; though I know itís not nearly as harmful and addictive as cigarettes. But nicotine use seems to be according to how slightly I get buzzed on it. I donít like it as much as any other drug though; but itís definitely addictive; I should be extremely careful about using it.
Caffiene: since a young age Iíve drank coffee nearly daily for my entire life. Caffeine is addictive for sure. But itís also delicious! Though good coffee is hard to come by; I am picky. Unfortunately caffeine isnít all that beneficial; I donít think its all that harmful either.
Cannabis: Iíve tried cannabis at the age of 12; but only became a user and less of a ďtryíerĒ when I was 16. I am 18 now and have used cannabis and it has affected me positively with my ADHD and bipolar and APD. It also affects me in the sense of a delightful headspace. Yes I like cannabis for the high and the medical application for it. I also get insomnia some nights. Lately Iíve been getting good sleep without the cannabis though. But some nights cannabis can help me get a good nights rest.
Cannabis resin: I once received 14 grams of resin; it took a few months of frequent smoking to finally finish it. I find that resin is more damaging to my lungs and vocal cords; due to heat and thick harsh smoke and I have yet to find a resin FAQ unfortunately, I would like to learn more about resin; I occasionally partake.
Amphetamines: from the age of 5 they had me on amphetamines. I had anorexia and serious insomnia as a result. By the age of 13 they had me on the maximum adult dosage. Eventually I had to discontinue use due to blood pressure issues. They also had to prescribe me other meds to get me to eat I think.
LSA: LSA made a profound long term impact on my APD. I no longer feel like everyone is constantly judging me. I donít feel like I canít be myself around others. LSA was the start of my interest in psychedelics. I havenít used many psychedelics but hawaiian baby woodrose seeds have always been my choice of LSA; Iíd eat the crushed seed matter. It causes psychological nausea every time for some reason. Also Iíve used high doses (10 seeds) and have experienced intense crisis situations and although I benefited positively from facing it on my own, a nice trip sitter would have been wonderful at the time. LSA is wonderful! Or at least I think so. It helped me to see things in a different perspective and allowed me time to take in. it allowed me to appreciate the beauty of things. I once caressed the earth gently; it was incredible! Beautifully incredible how connected I became with the massiveness of the earth. It was a giant and I was just a small ant compared. LSA could be a medicine one day; I believe. I say it needs to be researched more; if someone could put up some research projects with it to see how it affects people compared to other drugs. LSA made textures visually pop out, colour enhanced and sight would become sharpened and clearer. Iíve seen very beautiful landscapes, tree bark, rocks, a creekís water, fallen logs, miles of woods and terrain, and all kinds of amazing beautiful things in my nature trips. Other home trips were nice; but nature trips are the best of all! Ohh and I receive many interesting tactile sensations; its as if my skin is orgasming wherever I touch.
Nitrose Oxide: I once inhaled some whippits. When I first used it; I got a big enough hit to burst into uncontrollable laughter. Other times I attempted inhaling and mainly got a headhigh; which was very interesting on its own; though I wish for uncontrolleable laughter again dammit! Ha ha haÖ
Powdered wormwood: the first time I snorted it; I got an uncontrollable erection. Interesting. I also notice itís just an interesting experience; Iíve never noticed or remembered lucid dreams with it though. Not entirely sure how Iíd describer it. It was interesting but not too much. It wasnít entirely an aphrodisiac; it only lasted around 10 minutes peak and then stayed in this wormwoody feeling for a while (hours or so, depending on how much Iíd use). Iím not sure if this describes it well though.
Lucid dreaming: I have experienced other worldly experiences; even out of body experiences. It was amazing; Iíve done all kinds of things; traveled in the astral world throughout the house and outside in the yard where everything was different. I once found myself in a dream where there was lamps everywhere and I turned them all on. I also had these teeth that were all weird and crazy. Iíve walked into a gymnasium with a bunch of pools and babies floating, not swimming, but stagnantly floating upright staring at me. Iíve fallen into an alchemy void and been roared at by a celestial dragon. Iíve found nerd friends, and one had this dream of destroying a city with a robot thing he designed, it was epic, he was all like ďkilling all of these people is so worth itĒ. Iíve had some crazy travel dreams where I travel or walk in cities, houses, magical places, eerie places, and just in many different areas. Dreaming is amazing; I love it and wish I could lucid dream naturally.
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