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Being Wary of My Demons
2C-E
Citation:   introspector. "Being Wary of My Demons: An Experience with 2C-E (exp105318)". Erowid.org. Nov 7, 2020. erowid.org/exp/105318

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
20 mg oral 25E-NBOMe
  T+ 3:00 10 mg oral 25E-NBOMe
BODY WEIGHT: 180 lb
I had recently managed to get my hands on some laboratory grade 2C-E over Christmas break and I was extremely eager to try it. A few days later I was with my girlfriend at the time and I decided out of the blue that I wanted to do it because I knew that she could take care of me if anything went wrong, or if I was acting crazy. Now to my main point: the drug.

T+0:00. We were going to the mall to get my phone fixed. I then decided to weigh out about 20mg of the 2C-E, and pour it into a flask of orange juice to carry along with me for the car ride. 20mg is a dose leaning towards the heavier side, but in my past experience with psychedelics and also having a preexisting condition of low serotonin, I know that it takes more than the average dose to really affect me. Nevertheless, I down the drink within the 20 or so minutes it takes to get to the mall.

T+0:30. After being unable to fix my phone within the first ten minutes of being in the mall, I decided to get a decent button down with some of the money I got for Christmas. Waiting in line (long line I might add), I started getting hot. Not sweaty, just that kind of uncomfortable hot, where I would rather be sweaty instead. I started getting a bit of a stomachache as expected and a general uneasiness with the people around me. Everything is just so up in your face in the mall. I could tell I was also getting a lot more sensitive to the light; it almost hurt, it was that illuminating.

T+1:30. Now I was really starting to feel the genuine effects after my stomachache had passed. We had just gotten back from the mall, where I desperately wanted to get out of because it did not feel right to be there. Not too good of a setting.
I desperately wanted to get out of because it did not feel right to be there. Not too good of a setting.
Walking around in the mall was somewhat fun though because wherever my body moved to, I felt as if my supposed spirit had to catch up. It could be described as a rubber band stretching out and snapping back into place. I guess a “body-tracer” will have to be a term to suffice for now. Though, once I stopped moving, everything sobered up a little bit. Granted, I could still think coherently through all of this. I had also noticed that some of my deeply suppressed thoughts were starting to come out. Revealing to my girlfriend that I had called my stepmother “Mom” for a period when I was younger just after she had gotten married to my father. I assume now that being in a divorced household gave way to the lost want of a nuclear family. I had completely forgot about that part of my life until now. No visual distortion yet.

T+3:00. At this point I decided to take a supplement of 10 more milligrams of the 2C-E because I wanted a little bit more visuals. They were there but only slightly. The great part is that I could control them. I could stop the waves that were coming across my vision. I have not experienced this before; it was actually a pretty amazing and convenient effect. I usually like to look at myself in the mirror to check how sober I am- the crazier I look, the more inebriated I must be. This also correlates to how stupid I may sound to sober people. My eyes were bulging in and out. It looked like I was staring at a fun house mirror. I heard people should not look at themselves in a mirror when they are tripping because they will get scared or something, but I could not help laughing at how insanely weird I looked. I recall I started playing with my face, making different expressions like in a Jim Carrey movie. All I know is that I felt good and very happy with who I was and what I looked like at that moment. The visuals were quite present. Though, I could tell that they had this different feel to them. They seemed a bit less intense than LSD, but not like the drug itself.

T+3:30. This may not seem like a logical movie at the time, but damn, it felt right. It still feels right. I broke up with my girlfriend. I realize now, at my age, I should not be looking to settle down with a woman. I have so many years ahead of me that I need to experience by myself to get to know who I am and see what I want in people when it comes to relationships. I realized that the life I am living as my own man is just now beginning. This drug helped me see my deepest emotions that I have not dealt with yet and just brought them all out on the table. I cannot say how relieving it was for me, a guy who carries a huge amount of stress, to let out something that I never had the courage to say, because I was afraid of breaking someone’s heart. It was killing me at the time. I kept saying to myself prior to the break up, things would all smooth out in the end if I stayed with her- as if I would forget these feelings. Looking back on it now, I laugh because at first she was so scary when I told her we were done, since I was still tripping REALLY hard and she was pushing and shoving me. So all the while she’s trying to punch me, the wallpaper is doing back flips over itself in my peripherals. It was quite a ride.

T+4:00///T+8:00. Through these next 4 hours my peak had started descending to baseline, while taking in all the closed-eye visuals that could come to my head. I might add that they were quite spectacular. Every rainbow-colored pattern that I could imagine came into my head. It was a great way to relax a bit. Once sobered up, I left my now ex-girlfriend’s place. 2C-E in some way helped me genuinely understand what I was saying when I broke up with her. Sometimes I will say or do things based off of my emotions and people will ask why I did that and I would have no clue either. This all made sense to me. Everything that was said and done that night all made sense now.

I am truly grateful to have tried 2C-E that night, no matter how hectic it turned out to be. I came out of this experience as better version of myself because I finally learned that I needed to stay genuine with who I am and what I want out of this life, because it is too short to please people out of fear of making them unhappy.

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 105318
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Nov 7, 2020Views: 683
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2C-E (137) : Relationships (44), First Times (2), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)

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