Citation: Goddess Mode. "Infinite Fabric of Pure Ecstasy: An Experience with 4-AcO-DET, Nitrous Oxide & Cannabis (exp105459)". Erowid.org. Nov 3, 2019. erowid.org/exp/105459
This was to be my first trial with dosing 4-AcO-DET orally, after semi-successfully vaporizing it for the first time a few weeks before. Judging by my previous experiences with tryptamine psychedelics of this class, I was basically expecting the trip to be 4-HO-DET but with maybe a cleaner body feelings and a little bit more intensity
I was basically expecting the trip to be 4-HO-DET but with maybe a cleaner body feelings and a little bit more intensity
in general. For this reason, I decided to take 30 mg at 9:30 PM, my T+0:00, with my record dose of 4-HO-DET so far being 25 mg. Before dosing I had prepared myself a bowl of cannabis to smoke in the shower, which is a pretty common ritual for me when coming up on psychedelics, and immediately after dosing I also prepared myself a balloon of nitrous oxide with eight cartridges in it and sealed it with a clothespin. As soon as I finished it up, I used the bathroom quickly to clear my system out for the trip, and then hopped into the hot water.
Usually, when I do this while tripping, I end up smoking not too long after getting in the shower so that I can let the effect it has on the trip build while I'm still lost in the warm haze. This time though, I honestly didn't really feel like pushing it to that point yet, and instead just enjoyed washing my hair like I would in any regular shower. I could feel the trip kicking in to some degree, but it was mostly a feeling of restless energy at that point, and some colorful static blurring of my vision. It wasn't too long before I felt that I didn't really need to be in the shower at all, so I finished up what I was doing and started drying off. When I stepped out and sat down on the toilet for a minute to let myself relax while everything was setting in, I noticed that flowing and waving patterns were starting to appear on surfaces, and my vision in general was beginning to breath and melt. These effects all had color schemes very similar to what I'm used to with 4-HO-DET, covering dark reds, yellows, greens, and blacks with other parts of the spectrum mixed in here and there, but they were much stronger than anything I've experienced on 4-HO-DET, which is normally fairly light for me in the sensory distortions department even when I'm paradoxically getting very vivid visions. I was also getting very light flashes of these visuals twisting into erotic feminine energy at this point, which is a fairly common thing for me on psychedelics, but this was pretty early after dosing. I was definitely excited about where this trip was going so far, and with that, I decided to start taking my first few hits of cannabis.
Honestly, it's hard to remember too much about how the cannabis initially starting kicking in, because it was almost immediately afterward that I started inhaling my nitrous oxide. I'm not sure if the trip just wasn't in full swing enough for the trip to be significantly different from a normal nitrous experience and therefore doesn't stand out in retrospect, or if on the other hand I was just already becoming so dissociated from the trip that the nitrous was just too abstract to bring back with me, but either way, I really don't recall much if anything about what happened in that balloon. What I do know is that by the time I was floating back down to 'reality', I was starting to trip pretty hard. My mind was beginning to race out of control, and I was getting an effect that I have only gotten previously on 4-HO-DET and high doses of LSD where I continuously mistake myself for characters in TV shows I've been watching a lot recently. The erotic imagery I mentioned in my visuals before had also become a lot more prevalent, and the trip was following the typical feeling of darkness that I have always felt on 4-HO-DET and 4-AcO-DET before. Strangely though, as delirious as this experience was in many ways, in other ways it was incredibly tame; in the past I have found that these compounds tend to be so easygoing and powerful but subtle that it almost doesn't feel like I'm tripping at all until I introduce some kind of stimulus on my own to crank it up, and then the trip just erupts, and so far this trip was sticking to the first part of that rule pretty well. So, given that, I decided to try putting on my headphones and listening to some music to see what would become of it.
In the state of mind I was in, I was having trouble thinking of a song to put on. I've actually been kind of in between genres right now though anyway, a lot of my preferences have been changing... so the 4-AcO-DET may not have been entirely to blame for that. Finally, I decided to just pick something that's playing on the radio right now that's not too overwhelming so I wouldn't really have to think about it, at least until seeing how music impacted this trip. I ended up putting on Ariana Grande's 'Love Me Harder', and once the beat started, there was no turning back. In an instant, I saw my body moving further away from me into the distance, with enormous pulses of colorful energy and geometric patterns flying out of my body as well. The synesthesia from the music was becoming so intense that it then completely blocked out any remaining perception I had, and there was nothing left of me but the visions. Every word and every note was seeping into my reality, influencing this massive cloud of sensory chaos that was 'me'. Imagery of lovers completely submitting to each other rolled by, and I felt all the love between them as my own. My sense of self was also transforming rapidly along with my imagination, and I was hopelessly swept away with it. What was happening here?
It all seemed so familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I felt like there was a decently strong chance that either I was dead, I was Ariana Grande, or I was on LSD
I felt like there was a decently strong chance that either I was dead, I was Ariana Grande, or I was on LSD
, but there was just too much going on to figure out which one it was. At some point in this, the sensory overload became too much, and I actually became aware of myself merging with what I can only describe as this infinite fabric of pure ecstasy... which I've only touched upon on LSD and while meditating on cannabis before. The best way I can possibly describe it is that it is represented to me as a wall of sensual arms reaching out to me, and once they overtake me, it's like every single pleasure sensor mapped to my body that my mind can possibly hold is turned on at once.... Everything in reality is perfect, all needs are met, all things are possible, and all experiences are ineffable....
And then, suddenly, the song was over. For me, the most baffling thing (aside from remembering that I was on 4-AcO-DET, not LSD) was the realization that I had just been lying there listening to music for that whole experience rather than running around the house in a dissociative fugue as I had thought, since at the time I truly could not distinguish between the two. Honestly, listening to that song had had such a powerful intensifying effect on the trip that coming back down into the silence was about as disorienting as trying to reconnect with reality after a big hit of DMT, but possibly even more dissociating. It took me a good five or ten more minutes of lying in bed before I even started to really comprehend what all had just happened, during which the whole experience seemed crazier and crazier in retrospect. By this time, I had actually also started to get a type of visual effect which I have only gotten previously from combining LSD with 4-HO-DET, which is possibly the hardest visual to describe of all....
Probably the simplest way I could explain it would be to say that it's like tunnel vision in that visual information degrades around the center of my vision with that, but with this, it's more like things become more intense the closer to the center of my vision they get, and then literally at the center is just this mechanical, fluid, colorful, geometric hyperspatial hole where reality collapses into the impossible. This effect had now become the most prevalent part of my visuals, which the dark patterns and imagery I noted before having moved more into the background and the mind's eye. Though, what was there was still quite intense; during this time I actually tried to explore the darker parts of my psyche again, like with themes of death and skeletal visions like I had gotten from vaporizing 4-AcO-DET before, and these things readily jumped out like they had been waiting for my call the whole time, but unlike when I vaporized it, they weren't pushy at all and receded without active support. Mostly, it just gave the trip an added sense of versatility which is unmatched by other psychedelics I have taken so far.
With the effects I was getting now and how ridiculously intense listening to that song had been, I decided to enjoy some silence for a bit more instead and went out into the house to roam around in the dark a bit. Though the visuals I described were still floating around, I feel like my attention wasn't really grabbing on to them enough to find meaning in them even in the darkness, and so I spent most of my time out there just relaxing on couches and thinking about life while listening to the rain pouring outside. In terms of how helpful the 4-AcO-DET was for this versus how much it was just my mindset of knowing that this is what I normally do on psychedelics, all I can really say is that the restlessness I had been getting for much of the trip was at the very least converting itself into some motivation for carrying these self-reflective thoughts through to their full conclusions. The trip overall was still remarkably sober-minded in between the insanity of it all, so I would probably have to stick by my past assertions that 4-HO-DET and 4-AcO-DET are psychedelics that you really need to be willing to work with on your own, but that they can be wonderfully rewarding when you choose to do so. I spent a good amount of time out here just thinking about where my life is going right now, how my interpersonal relationships have been developing, and what changes I need to be making in my behaviors if I really want to be successful in achieving my goals, and anything else I could think of to help myself move forward, before finally deciding to move back into bed because the trip seemed to be dying down a bit.
Once I was back in bed, I decided to try some music again. I began listening to songs by Diana Boncheva, starting with 'Drama', which I had never heard before but immediately fell in love with. The sound was much less overwhelming this time, now just feeling enhanced to euphoric levels like I would expect from a more moderate level psychedelic experience. I also smoked a little bit more cannabis around this time, but found that it was actually just intensifying a headache I had probably from all the sensory overload more than it was actually enhancing any aspect of the trip, so I decided against having any more after that. Mostly, the rest of my trip was pretty uneventful from a reporting standpoint.... I pretty much spent the rest of the night listening to more songs and texting a very close friend of mine, before finally being too exhausted from staying awake and staring at a bright cellphone screen and deciding to go to sleep around T+6:30. Though, before I did so, I did test the erotic aspect of the trip as well; honestly, I would have to say that the fantasy was not all that spectacular, and truthfully I felt kind of sweaty in a not that great way, but the orgasm was indeed pretty darn satisfying. Maybe in the right mood, the right temperature setting, and what have you, one could find some real use in this.... I'd definitely be willing to give it some more chances at the least before passing it up, the effect it has on my mind is deep enough that it seems worth dealing with a little physical awkwardness to allow it to really show what it can do. What I can say is that I was definitely very sexually stimulated for pretty much the whole trip, for better or worse, on a level that in the psychedelic world I can only compare to LSD.
So, in the end, this was a pretty awesome trip. Physically, the only side effects I experienced at all were some nausea and leg tremors particularly at the beginning, which would be totally possible for me on any 4-substituted tryptamine at any dose. I actually thought that this was one of the lightest psychedelics on my body I've ever taken, comparable to 4-HO-MET.
this was one of the lightest psychedelics on my body I've ever taken, comparable to 4-HO-MET.
I find it very interesting as well that my 4-HO-DET and 4-AcO-MET have both been from a single source and give me a little bit of body discomfort, while my 4-HO-MET and 4-AcO-DET have both been from a separate single source and have been totally clean feeling for me.... I used to think that this difference might be down to a difference between the indolols and the acetate esters, but now I'm really wondering if it just comes down to how well the batches of the compounds are made.
Ultimately, I get the feeling that all of these 4-substituted tryptamines are extremely safe and clean feeling compounds, providing little if any dangers or discomfort whatsoever as long as they're treated properly and with respect given to both them and oneself... Don't take my word as fact of course since these are research chemicals, but that's just my opinion. On the psychedelic side, really, I think I would have to say that I've found a new favorite research chemical... or maybe even just a new favorite chemical in general, possibly only tying with LSD. I loved everything about this trip: the fact that it contains both the light and the dark, the instant and completely stimulus- or imagination-driven switch from relative clearheadedness to total hedonistic mental destruction, the extremely powerful visions which are not only jaw-droppingly beautiful but also greatly appeal to my personal artistic sensibilities, the enhanced thought flow for working on myself, its seductive nature and corresponding enhanced sex drive, and its complete perceived body threat. Suffice it to say, I very much look forward to any future explorations with 4-AcO-DET and its non-acetylated version....
As of right now, it's about T+16:00 and I feel great. I felt pretty much normal again this morning, but smoking cannabis brought out some very mild perceptual alterations again along with a still strengthened libido. Overall, a pretty wonderful experience with no apparent negative consequences of use. Clearly I have found a very special ally in this compound!
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