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Monsters
Methamphetamine & Alprazolam
by Fearful in Houston
Citation:   Fearful in Houston. "Monsters: An Experience with Methamphetamine & Alprazolam (exp105502)". Erowid.org. Jun 24, 2020. erowid.org/exp/105502

 
DOSE:
  repeated   Methamphetamine
      Pharms - Alprazolam

BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb


I should preface this by saying, this is not a public service announcement. This is just a story about fear.

I found meth easily enough. One day it was offered to me; and I said 'sure.' This was certainly not the first time it was offered, but I was there experiencing this. I was alive. It was so fucking good. There it was! Meth was magical. It was like a fairytale where everyone lives; slaying dragons and saving the world. What meth gave me evolved from a feeling, into a certainty that everything was ok after all. I will never ever feel that good again in my life. I told myself 'this can't possibly end badly.'

It didn't end. I wouldn't use super high amounts of meth. There were never any experiences that lasted longer 4 days. It was never a daily habit, but it slowly destroyed everything I thought I knew and felt.

My keys from my laptop were starting to break. I was frustrated that the my neghboors living above me wouldn't keep it down. I was trying to save the world with my laptop. Damn them, they have been yelling and threatening me for days. Did I mention that I lived in a one story house? Yes that's right; my neghboors were living in my attic... There were also people hiding in my bushes spying through my window. Finding the keys to the front door was not easy after a cocktail of meth and xanax. The door opened and there I was in the front yard, in my boxers slashing wildly at the bushes and yelling. There I was, in all my glory. This would not stand, I'm not crazy, they really are hiding all around me. I could prove it to the world. I started filming with my phone to get hard evidence. But what about the monsters? How could prove their existence to others? Besides things haven't gotten bad yet. It was only the second day. Back to my room to think. It was time to regroup.

The voices from the attic were intolerable.
The voices from the attic were intolerable.
'Don't go to sleep, or we will kill your parents.' I went on my first instinct and ran up and down the attic stairs for hours looking for someone to kill. I wanted blood. There was nothing else for it, I need to murder those attic dwellers. How were they escaping me? They can't possibly be more intellegent than me. Things were starting to get stranger and stranger. Looking out my window I could now see beings crawling out from the flowerbeds. They were very dark and very formidable. Black green grey snakelike beings wearing smiles and holding guns. I was a little afraid but I can't show weakness. I will stand in front of any type of monster or phantom without fear. My main problem was they were interrupting my high. Nevermind this nightmare, I wanted to enjoy myself.

My pleasure was short lived and things turned into the dark ugly prison. The things in my attic and everyone in my neghboorhood turned into monsters...Not the cute cuddly kind that you see in horror movies. My hand shakes writing this. I had to destroy them. It is impossible to tell you how evil they were. They were hurting people and I had to listen to it. I heard their cries for 24 hours straight. I can't not give you anymore details. I dont want the reader to suffer that kind of darkness.

Luckly, the police came shortly afterwards, and I somehow didn't hurt anyone. I ended up in hospital for an extended period, and slowly started to recover. It has been over 6 months since it happened. I have been sober this whole time and I still hear voices. They are not nearly as formidable, but they still tell me horrible things sometimes. It is difficult to remind myself 'they are not real. They are hallucinations made out of my deepest fears.' I am starting to find some happiness knowing that it is not real and that they are not really after me. I have to remind myself to look at the bright side, 'I'm still alive, it didn't kill me after all.' I now want nothing more then return to society and live free, and not to waste another moment wondering if it really did happen.

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 105502
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 32 
Published: Jun 24, 2020Views: 1,355
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Methamphetamine (37) : Combinations (3), Addiction & Habituation (10), Post Trip Problems (8), Multi-Day Experience (13), Health Problems (27), Alone (16)

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