DOSE:	2 hits	buccal	LSD	(blotter / tab)
	repeated	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

This was my first experience with LSD. I had plenty of experience with weed and alcohol, and had done some nitrous. Somehow it came up that the guy I'd been casually dating had acid in his freezer, and we agreed to trip together a week later.

That day, it was beautiful out, so we went for a walk before I reminded him of our plan. We ordered Thai because he—much more experienced with drugs—said we would get sick if we took it on an empty stomach. I was impatient to begin, but careful to set positive intentions. I wanted to see the world in a new way. Whenever my typical anxieties crept in during the few hours leading up to the trip, I consciously and urgently calmed myself to prevent a bad trip. I put the two little pieces of paper on my tongue and moved them around my mouth for twenty minutes or so before swallowing it. Another half hour passed, and I began to express doubt that there was really any acid on those pieces of paper. But soon I began giggling a lot, insisting “I still don’t think I’m tripping but…I just feel so funny.” The physical feeling was somewhat like full-body nerves, but accompanied with happiness and an amusement at my very being. “Yeah,” he said, “you’re on acid.” With those words, the music built, but it built to me to something more intense than it would’ve been were I sober. It was not unlike listening to music after consuming a lot of weed.

I no longer had a sense of time, and it was not just that things seemed longer or shorter than they really were. If you asked me how long I had been sitting in a given place I would only be able to tell you less than 12 hours because the sun was still up. We had a timer set, but it took a huge mental effort to read and make sense of the numbers. We went outside for I think three hours. I danced through his tiny, urban, fenced-in backyard, feeling the grass and mud between my toes. I felt the gravity and suspension of leaning back while holding onto tree branches, and danced with the tree. In my mind, I described what I was doing as “a communion with the universe.” I wanted to touch everything. Things I touched did not physically feel different, or at least not much so, but I took much more joy in feeling them. I felt an urge to create “art” by stacking the objects I found in his yard, to not only feel the universe and dance with it, but create a beautiful space for myself, build my own world. I began to think of everything I did in life as building up my world.

For a while I sat and smoked cigarettes—chain smoked six or seven, when I was smoking only 2 or 3 a day at the time. I was mesmerized by the smoke. In it I saw many individual pieces of glitter dancing up into the heavens. I didn’t feel the nicotine. At one point I could no longer discern how loud things were, even relatively. A small party a couple of houses away sounded louder and clearer than the music we had on, then the music sounded booming to the point that I couldn’t hear myself talk over it, and I was worried we would get complaints and have to speak to a cop so we turned down the music and eventually went inside.

I had been entirely in my own world, but inside now I began to talk with him. He was much more businessy than I was, but speaking to him on acid I began to understand his values and concerns. He was building things for other people, the very thing I’d been trying to do with my “art.” Building things they wanted enough to build things in exchange. I wasn't just building my own world: everyone was building the world for each other. I remember this conversation as the moment I fell in love with him. It was a hard smack in the chest feeling and I just knew. I don’t know whether that clarity was because of the acid or because what we have is different than any other time I’ve been in love. We’ve been together two years now.

At some point, I checked Facebook on my phone, and just felt so happy that everyone was sharing these bits of their life with me. A bit later I sat up and spoke non-stop about traumatic moments in my childhood and felt peace with a lot of it. We had sex, which felt WAY nicer than normal, possibly better than sex had ever been for me, it was like I was in a world of skin and every motion had poetic weight. Eventually we decided to try to sleep, this was 13 or 14 hours after we’d taken the acid. He went outside to smoke a joint to calm himself, and then being alone in the dark room was when I started to get some negative visuals. The shadows looked like devils. Lying on the bed I felt like a sacrifice in a satanic ritual. I was momentarily afraid, but soon able to see it all as funny and cartoonish. I had really committed myself to stay positive throughout the trip. It took me probably 4 hours to fall asleep, just constant racing thoughts that I couldn’t slow down, but not unlike the insomnia I get sometimes off drugs. I only slept for about an hour, woke up clear-headed, no hangover, with that second wind feeling I get when I have very little sleep. I could remember things pretty well, the memories came slowly, popping up with some visual cue and surprising me. Reflecting over my morning coffee was half thinking about how I had grown personally and half thinking about this relationship. I was embarrassed about how much I’d opened up to this guy I’d gone on 4 or 5 dates with, but I also had these new, stronger feelings for him. I wondered why he’d chosen to do acid with me, since he knew what acid was like, and I really didn't.

The “building the world for each other” philosophy has stuck with me, and so has the boy. I’d say I grew more that day than I do over the course of a typical year. I think what made my experience so good was that I was in a fairly positive emotional phase and I committed myself to keep my thoughts positive, over the course of a full week leading up to the trip.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 105607
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jun 17, 2020	Views: 634
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