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To Insanity and Beyond
LSD
Citation:   SashaSachet. "To Insanity and Beyond: An Experience with LSD (exp105611)". Erowid.org. Nov 21, 2019. erowid.org/exp/105611

 
DOSE:
2 hits oral LSD (edible / food)
BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb
This experience took place in my shared house on university campus. The trip lasted 14 hours (3pm - 5am).

I received acid on 5 fizzy sweet cola bottles supposedly at a minimum of 100ug each but was warned that it was a new batch and the strength wasn't tested. I was advised to only take half a cola bottle to test the effects as it was likely the dose was much higher than advertised. I did not listen and despite it being my first time, I took 2 doses and my tripping buddy, Ovi did the same at 3pm.

(15:00) While waiting for it to kick in I was sat in my room drawing, however, after about half an hour I found I could no longer concentrate and I started sweating and feeling 'jittery'. I start pacing my room when I get a message from Ovi stating that he felt weird. I understood what he meant, it felt like my field of vision was a marshmallow and everything I looked at was slowly moving, breathing and merging.

(16:00) Ovi hadn't eaten all day so we met up and decide to buy a pizza, however, I was shaking so hard it looked like I had muscle spasms so I put on a huge coat and we went to the shop. While there, I notice my right arm is stuck in one position and it becomes numb and painful. While Ovi goes inside to eat, I sit on a bench outside our house as I find it easier to breathe outside. I watch the field and trees, they look like they're submerged under water and I see lots of geometric patterns. However, they're moving so fast and are so wiggly I eventually start to get nauseous.

(17:00) I try to bring Ovi outside to show him but we're both struggling to string together sentences and only make it a few steps before deciding to go back inside as we were tripping so hard it was difficult to remember what was real life. I kept hallucinating that we were in a Disney movie and everything looked like a cartoon. The power and intensity of the hallucination to me aback and I couldn't remember what was happening in my mind vs what was happening in front of me.

(17:05) After we get home, the pain in my arm becomes more pronounced, it feels 'blocked' and the blood felt sticky and numb and I was unable to move it. I begin to panic that we were sold something that wasn't acid and was in fact clogging my arteries and killing me. Looking back, I realise LSD increases anxiety and paranoid thinking but at the time I was unaware and started to feel scared. I decide the sober house mates should stay with us to make sure we're OK and remind us that we were in real life since I felt like I was going crazy. I was 'in my own head' and it was hard to talk.

I sit on the floor, extremely uncomfortable, clutching my knees and asking every 3 minutes when the trip will be over, I just wanted to feel 'normal' again so I could focus on my arm and decide rationally if I needed medical attention. In my head there were several 'me's saying, doing and thinking different things and I could not remember which 'me' was in this physical real life, on the kitchen floor.
I could not remember which 'me' was in this physical real life, on the kitchen floor.
I'd think up a scenario and it'd have a hundred different endings, only one of which had happened in real life and it was so difficult to discern reality from my mind. At one point I was telling myself to calm down but I couldn't remember which 'me' was actually panicking. I also kept thinking I could just 'shake off' my arm, the pain was 'caught' on it and I could shake it off so I must have looked pretty crazy trying to get my arm off me. I also felt like I needed to spit 'myself' out, I kept trying to spit and get myself out of me. At one point I snapped out of it all for a second and just said out loud 'I'm insane.' my house mates were comforting me telling me I was sane and it was just a bad trip but it felt like my brain and sense of self were floating away and would never return and I'd be left an empty vessel of a person with nothing but an aching arm.

At some point I went upstairs because I thought I might feel more normal by myself, and for some reason I changed my shirt. However, I almost dialled 999 because I 'thought my arm was about to explode' (it felt like there were 500 rubber bands around it) and so in some rational part of my mind I realised I needed to stay downstairs with the sober trip sitters so they could look after me and make sure I remembered I was in real life and wouldn't do anything crazy.

(19:30) My heart rate was continuously increasing, partly as a physiological effect and partly from the anxiety, so this in turn lead me to feel more fear, panic and confusion while my temperature fluctuated and I failed to feel comfortable. My house mates put on 4 hours worth of David Attenborough documentaries which calmed me down and distracted me a little.

(23:30) Before going into my own room, I try to watch a movie with Ovi but his room is dark and small, the window is closed and the hum of his electronics charging drove me INSANE. He is finding the trip fun and light unlike me. I look in the mirror and what I see is a version of myself with all my least favourite features exaggerated. I get slightly freaked out.

(00:00) I decide to sleep the rest of the trip off in my own room so I could see someone about my arm when I'd sobered up the next day (I was getting worried it would stop my blood pumping and cause a heart attack or stroke) but the pain started to spread to my shoulder and then my throat, my tongue felt numb and huge and I found it difficult to swallow. There is a perfumey taste in the back of my throat and I notice there's a lot of mucus built up (which wasn't there before ingesting the acid). I tried drinking water to get rid of it and got through about 2 litres before stopping as I wasn't sweating or urinating and I began to fear getting over-hydration (noticing a pattern in my paranoia here!).

(00:30) I get scared I'm going to suffocate in my sleep so I ask to stay in my house mates room for the night so that someone is present if I start dying. A few times it felt like my throat completely closed and I shoved my fingers in there to open up my airways and I spent the whole time feeling like breathing was not natural, it was a very conscious effort on my part and I had a shortness of breath. Looking back, this was most likely anxiety induced rather than physiological as I have had panic attacks in the past when I was younger, (though they had never affected my throat). It felt like if I let go and fell asleep, I would never wake up. I knew in my mind this was an irrational thought but I was convinced my mind would float away and never return and I'd forget to breathe.
I was convinced my mind would float away and never return and I'd forget to breathe.


(01:00) When breathing became slightly easier, I went back to my own room and lay on my arm to make it numb so that I felt less pain. I also covered myself in warm blankets and set up deep breathing exercise videos. However, the voices are echoey and distorted and the faces look twisted and evil. I turn them off and try to find a relaxing music playlist but I keep mumbling to myself and could not control my own body. I lay shivering and in pain for hours with the lights on which was uncomfortable (but better than having them off, where I kept seeing black demons dancing around my bed. Though I was aware this was just a visual trick it did not help my anxiety).

(05:00) I eventually get to sleep but spend the whole of the next day in bed, I felt frightened, weak and vulnerable. I had eaten nothing the whole day I tripped and did not eat the next day either. I did not drink alcohol for a few weeks after and did not go out or party with my house mates (we go a few times a week). I felt too shaky and emotionally traumatised as well as in physical pain - my arm still felt 'blocked' and weird.

After some research, I learned LSD can cause vasoconstriction, and since I have naturally bad blood flow (sometimes waking up in the middle of the night with my arms paralysed), I figured that was probably it.

I decided it was a much too high dose for a first time trip and the next time (while on 100mg of MDMA) I took a quarter of the dose. I simply swallowed to make sure it wasn't 25i or another RC which MUST be held in the mouth for an effect (as opposed to LSD which will work when swallowed) and made sure to keep arms warm and stayed in bed the whole time for maximum comfortable feelings. I still tripped, though it took a good 3 hours to kick in and I felt jittery, cold and uncomfortable again. However, not nearly to the same extent.

At this point, I am not sure the insight and pretty visuals are worth the physical effects acid gives me
I am not sure the insight and pretty visuals are worth the physical effects acid gives me
personally. I still feel a little strange, it felt like I had a screw loose and the first acid experience somewhat unhinged me. But strangely, I feel like a more open, empathetic and caring person for it. Use with caution.

Exp Year: 2015ExpID: 105611
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Nov 21, 2019Views: 658
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LSD (2) : Hangover / Days After (46), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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