DOSE:

0.5 hits

oral

LSD

(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

(( the actual experience begins several paragraphs down. ))

I knocked the second thing off of my bucket list a few months ago (the first being able to speak another language.)

Hallucinogens. Ever since I first heard of them, I knew it was something that I had to experience myself. Being a natural loner, I accepted that I probably would never be able to since I don't have many hookups. Nevertheless, the opportunity showed itself to me and I jumped at the chance. My best friend, T, invited me to go to Life in Color with her and her friends. We would drive down, stay the night in a hotel, and drive back the next day. I agreed without hesitation.

I met T's friends when I got in the car with them on our way out of town. There was L, whose parents were rich and had just bought her a new car for her 16th birthday. She seemed nice, but in a condescending way and I got vibes that she didn't approve of me. There was her boyfriend, D, whom I immediately got along with. Lastly, there was D's best friend, J. They had kicked out one of their friends so that I could come. That friend was supposed to be their hookup for the acid tabs, and an hour into our drive he called to say that he might not be able to get it for us. I suddenly felt very unwanted and I could feel everyone's regret for bringing me instead. Even T.

A couple hours later, we arrived and secured our hotel room. We smoked a few bowls while we waited for my stepbrother to show up because he was going to be the driver. Everyone was a little disappointed because they weren't sure if they could find acid inside the venue and for most, that was going to be the high point of the trip (no pun intended).

We got to the rave and I was separated from the crew almost instantly. I ended up spending the majority of the rave by myself, but I didn't mind at all.

I met up with my group around 2 am and they were all rolling. They'd found molly and taken it and they were all so lovey and wanted to hug me. We left and it was hard to get out of the parking lot because there were paramedics. Someone had collapsed in the parking lot and we still never found out if he or she is okay.

My stepbrother drove us back to the hotel and he went home. We went to our room and smoked some more while everyone took turns showering. Apparently they had found some acid tabs after all; D and J would each get one tab, and T and L would split one. They didn't get any for me.

Everyone left to look for a vending machine and D stayed behind. He hugged me and said he was worried when I got separated. He asked if I was going to trip with them. I explained that there wasn't enough, and he worked it out so that I would get a half tab because he really wanted me to experience it with them, especially for my first time. L was not happy when she found out. I dropped my half tab and then the other girls dropped theirs.

We waited about a half hour and got worried that we weren't going to trip at all. The first thing that I noticed was the vibration of my body. I could feel every muscle; every miniscule movement I made stretched and felt amazing. I didn't have any visuals yet so I lifted my fingers to look for tracers... I didn't get that far because I was instantly distracted by how INCREDIBLY SOFT the air was. The whole atmosphere was almost tangible, fuzzy and so comfortably warm. I could reach out and pet it and it made me so happy.

Everything about going up was soft, warm, comfortable, and SO pleasant. It escalated from comfort to happiness to pure ecstasy; it was honestly the most extreme happiness I have ever felt in my life. Every tiny movement felt like and orgasm and I couldn't stop smiling.

I looked straight up and the place where the mirror met the ceiling looked like another dimension. I could feel myself going up and over the light at the top of the mirror and into a classroom setting. I didn't like it so I came back.

I remembered L saying that looking at yourself in the mirror is the biggest trip and you'll never see yourself the same way. I was disappointed when I looked at myself and I looked exactly the same. I was almost disgusted to look at myself because I was so ugly. Dark circles under my eyes, no makeup, disheveled hair, acne scars, and pale, chapped lips. When I was sober later, I realized that isn't actually what I look like, but when I was tripping I was convinced that I was the ugliest person in the world and maybe that was why I was so unwanted, even by T, my best friend.

I was teetering on the edge of a bad trip when D started talking. 'Is this show even real? Whaaaaat?' The TV was on and I think we were watching Friends. 'I'm frying,' said D. 'What the fuck?! Look at their necks!' We all laughed, deep belly laughs that felt amazing and genuine, because the actors on the show all had ridiculous giraffe necks and we were all seeing the same thing. J laughed too, but he hadn't taken his tab so he wasn't on the same wavelength as us. It was like we were all thinking the same thoughts, laughing at the same moments and gasping in pleasure at the same sensations. All someone had to say was one word and we all agreed enthusiastically because we knew exactly the meaning. J took his half tab. A commercial came on TV that had a man in a pig mask. We thought it was scary so we turned off the TV and the darkness was very intriguing.

At some point, D turned on the light. It was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen: glowing, alive, crawling across the ceiling with electric and jumpy motions. It was almost too much for us and we wanted to go back to darkness. We turned off the light but turned on the hall light so that we could see.

We got up and smoked several times. We stopped worrying about blowing out the window. We wanted the whole hotel room to be filled with the sweet smelling smoke.

We decided to go out in the hall. It felt like the most rebellious thing we could do. We had this sensation that 'they' didn't want us to go out, 'they' wanted us to stay in the room where it was safe and 'they' would get mad if we went on an adventure. We walked out, slowly, gasping and laughing and the carpet and tumultuous walls. We touched the ice cooler at the end of the hall and then ran back to safety, hysterical from such an adventure.

Someone asked the time and it was 5:30 am. What? How?? Time was such a trip. I swear it went backwards sometimes.

I kept getting the sensation that someone was missing, but after counting realized that everyone was there. I saw someone run across the room to the door several times, but checked and everyone was sitting or laying on the beds. I realized that there are others and they protect us, sometimes scare us, and they make the air thick and soft with their presence. They aren't threatening. They aren't ghosts or demons. Maybe angels. My good friend claims that they are Jinn, and maybe he's right. Just... Others.

At one point, my finger brushed against T's side and we both gasped in ecstasy. Amazed, I did it again, but she shied away from my touch. She didn't want me anywhere near her. I felt incredibly sad and I felt excluded and unwanted again.

I went to the bathroom as I was reaching my peak, and when I came back, everything got intense. Everything was folding into itself. Time, and space. Everything had a sense of repetition. My thoughts were fast and repetitive. I felt like I was always on the verge of a groundbreaking discovery, but just when I almost figured it out, my mind would jump backwards to the first thought in the chain. I felt frustrated that I couldn't dwell on one thought, but decided to just ride it out. Literally. The bed underneath me was moving. It stretched and moved in waves and folded in on itself, just like time, my thoughts, and the flow of everything going in circles. Someone found a video of optical illusions; one of them had patterns that were disappearing into themselves and repeating, spiraling vortexes and resurfacing shapes and objects. 'That's it! That's exactly what it looks like right now!' L said, and we all agreed excitedly.

The bed I was on felt so enormous at times, and I lost track of where the other bed was. They wouldn't stop moving and changing places and flipping upside down and folding in half. Despite my bed taking up so much space, I felt if I moved at all I would fall off and the vine pattern in the carpet would grab me. I clung to the blankets and tried to keep my balance.

We smoked again. And again.

I looked at my hand. It was surrounded by electric energy, like colorful lightning zapping around my fingers and up my wrist, following my veins to my heart. I touched my skin and explored my body. I was so soft, especially my breasts. I was surprised and delighted to rediscover that I had nipples. I was in awe when my fingers traveled into my mouth and I could hardly stand the warmth of my breath.

I let myself drift into one of the vortexes. I don't know if I actually slept or was just in a trance, but next thing I knew, the sun was up and L was standing between J and I, telling us it was time to leave. T was parroting everything L said and they both seemed very condescending, complaining that they would have to baby us because we were too far gone. I was annoyed and my best friend was still ignoring me.

D wouldn't get up. He said he wasn't okay. 'Just have to make it to the car, love,' L said to him gently. We somehow managed to gather all of our things and make it downstairs to the car. We left the room smelling dank and there was kandi everywhere but there was nothing we could do.

Just as going up was pleasantly warm, coming down was pleasantly cool. Water was amazing. We listened to music in the car and it was healing. I felt a headache coming on, but I somehow absorbed the music and it healed me. We were all so peaceful, except for D, who was groaning in the front seat, and J, who was just reaching his peak since he dropped his tab later. We stopped at the store for snacks and everything smelled so very good.

At some point during the drive home, J's fingers twitched against my thigh and he made a little noise of delight when he experienced how soft my leggings were. He continued wiggling the tips of his fingers against my leg and that tiny gesture felt so orgasmic to both of us. It was strange how we had hardly talked all weekend, knew nothing of each other besides our names, but we were sharing such an intimate connection. As the car ride progressed, so did our touch. We wanted to explore more -- but it wasn't sexual in any way. I had no sexual thoughts or desires and his hand never ventured anywhere besides my outer leg. By the time we got back into town, our hands were clasped together in his lap, he was leaning on me making comfortable mumbling noises, his other hand was running the length of my leg and my other hand was tracing the designs on the back of his shirt. I got out when L got to my house and I haven't seen or spoken to J since.

I would not take back this experience back for anything. It was the happiest I've ever felt in my life. If I ever get the chance to trip again, I will in a heartbeat, and hopefully have more adventures.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 105634
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: May 15, 2021	Views: 827
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Relationships (44), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)