Citation: The Schwa. "Wow Everything Ever: An Experience with Ketamine (exp105723)". Erowid.org. Nov 2, 2016. erowid.org/exp/105723
Wow Everything Ever Full Blown K Hole
I'm writing this on a comedown. Let me start by saying, I remember the number 12 and my life, things before it, during it, and after it. I am reborn
I dosed, from as best as I can tell, near 12:30 but since taking Ketamine I am now questioning reality's existence and time itself. I will write to try and reflect that fact.
It is now 2:31 at the time of writing this and I will try and tell you of my amazing adventure.
I was, as best as I can remember, a human. I found myself 'stuck' once the plunger was all the way down, and the wrap around my arm was let go (tourniquet). All of time just suddenly vanished for two hours. My surroundings stayed the same, I'm almost unsure of it. But life suddenly came from my veins into reality, that is more real than reality itself. I know that sentence doesn't make sense, but the trip I take when I choose to do Ketamine is probably about as much sense making as that.
I felt it go up my arm, from what I can remember, it was smooth, starting at the mouth with a taste then, my vision became (the best human word is) blurry but it wasn't a blur, more like a mesh, a mesh of everything
it wasn't a blur, more like a mesh, a mesh of everything
. Everything coming together and me trying to catch up with it?
I could still touch this plane of reality, but the vision that I have here, that 'blur' started to overcome me. It is still wrapped around my head coming down as I'm typing this. I know it when I know it. It starts to take hold of me like someone holding my head too hard then that movement pushes out over my entire body.
I don't know for a fact that a minute is when I lost contact with this plane of existence, but this minute, or whatever minute it was doesn't matter.
But this is when thing get weird
1:00 minute-2 hours(ish)
Everything went a color, it wasn't a colorful color, but, it was a color, nontheless, it was more cream, or white background. It was something. That color started to move and speak in my head. It connected with everything. Everything I saw. Everything around me. I was in a room, so I felt restricted, but any movement I made felt like it had an effect that I could see, that effect was then sent to me in a dream like state of awe in that cream/white color world of movement. It was a fluid world. Time didn't exist here until I could comprehend it. I was in a state of total isolation of thought, or the reverse of that, if that makes sense. It doesn't. Because Ketamine makes no sense.
I was so in this world at one point that I felt myself get up as if to take heed of my surroundings. I walked but my feet made such a movement in the world that I couldn't understand them. It was as if I was seeing my feet *1000 frames of sight. I could feel the movement of my body getting up, yet, the rhythm felt more akin to an ocean sloshing in a jar. It was as if I could feel the very walls or the couch I'm sure I sat on for most of the trip.
I looked at my arm, once, I can remember. It brought me back to this plane of existence when I saw my own blood. I saw something, like a glimpse that seems to be the answer. Its like when you see a flash of light reflecting off the window of a car moving down the highway. Only that flash is a glimpse of the universe, and the car is moving in the other direction on the highway. It was as if I could hear, think, feel, understand, see, smell, taste, sweat, look at, all of those flashes, at once. The answer was only ever in those half seen flashes that came to me in waves. These waves wrapped around me until I accepted them. After that, something else came with a 'buzzing' of body and mind.
I wouldn't call it a voice, but it talked, or it had a message, it moved over me. It came to me. It told me things. Its hard to remember WHAT exactly. Yet, it said everything, it sung it loudly. I'm not exaggerating. I felt a ringing over my body, at this point, I'm sure I was just sitting there. Yet, I heard, it moved across the white/cream world I was seeing that was in itself everything that could possibly be seen. My mind reenforced this idea, or must have, because probably an hour in, my mind finally accepted reality wasn't real and then, WHAM, it kept coming until I heard, saw, felt, breathed, ached (in a way that is indescribable), felt my heart and life force itself just mesh together. Honestly, it was the best and worst feeling I have up to this point in my life felt. I lost touch with everything.
If I had to put a word to it, that word would be 'light'. Although, there is no description for what I 'felt' if feel is ever the right word.
It 'felt' like my entire body was there and being pushed down by a tidal wave
It 'felt' like my entire body was there and being pushed down by a tidal wave
, I was still there breathing, being, yet, my mind was outside that wave and moving freely in the cream/white and the voice. At this point. I felt my mind literally take me to a place I don't think will ever exist again in any dimension. Space and time actually bent. I will not accept any other notion, idea, or possibility. Space and time actually started bending until at one point I actually thought that whatever was happening was on an infinite scale, and I was experiencing it. I was fully aware of life, yet, I was on a different level. It was as if I was living in Mario's world as Mario, and I just found the cheat to get outside the map and stole all the mushrooms from the kingdom before I activated the cheat. This 'feeling', like I said, I don't think feeling is the right word, but I will use it because there is no other substitute for that word, was something that gripped me and took hold like a choke hold. Yet, the feeling over my body was one of 'buzzing' calmness that I almost could not sense myself.
At the point when my brain started trying to understand is when I lost hold of this 'world' that I was in. I can remember myself trying to see myself in the mirror we have on our wall behind me. The look on my face was one of utter confusion and little understanding a look that was parallel and reverse of what I actually was 'feeling'. I did this an unknown amount of times. Maybe 3, maybe 5, maybe 10, maybe 1. I do not remember sadly. This is not my point, my point is when I was coming down, I could feel it, yet I was not aware of it. It was so gradual I did not notice I was actually real until I started looking at my computer and attempting to understand what it said and was. I reevaluated everything actually all of reality. At which point (aprox 2 hours after injection) it still probably took me a good 15-30 minutes to regain control of my body and motor functions fully. Much was still fuzzy at that point yet I tried and thought my way through it until I found myself actually typing words that came together and then I found myself here typing.
My life isn't complicated. I doubt that has to do with one's experience when it comes to Ketamine and I doubt it could change it really. Although, I do not know this as a fact. But what I stepped into felt like reality. So coming down feels like truth is washing away slowly until all that is left is my head. My untouched unsqueezed head. It feels almost screwed on. I really do feel sad to actually feel this feeling drain out of me slowly.
This could be one of the most addictive substances in the world if everyone felt what I felt first time, yet, for some reason I know, what I felt will never be felt by me or any other man on earth again, and any other person trying, will only be riding the wave that I rode out of this existence. Ketamine was everything I knew it would be, yet it was more than I got myself ready for no amount of reading could have prepared me. This is an experience second only to DMT, yet, this was much more 'full blown' than any experience I have yet to have with DMT, and I have done DMT at least 50 times.
aprox 3:31 am
I saw my watch one last time before I dozed off into the night. The effects of 3ish hours after injection were still highly noticeable. My body had a pronounced calmness to it. It was very easy to fall asleep at that point with that feeling still wrapped around my head and body.
A few unexpected after effects during the morning after: Head less clear than it should be, body slightly sluggish, strange chemical taste in my mouth, pins and needles feeling over my skin (no pain, like my whole body feels asleep really). Aprox 8 hours after injection.
After effects are slightly pleasant as a footnote
No paranoia (like after doing LSD)
No pain at injection site.
Reflection notes (aprox 10 hours after injection and 4ish hours of sleep)
Reading the experience brings back memories of it, yet I still can't remember everything I saw and heard. It is all very fuzzy. I feel as if trying to convey what I felt during the experience is near impossible. I myself still don't actually know what happened. One thing is for sure. The first thing I thought and typed after I came to was 'Holy Shit'. So that has to mean something. All in all, I would love to do this again, and probably will. It was a life changing experience
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