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Could Not Remember Who I Was
Citation:   kaxar. "Could Not Remember Who I Was: An Experience with Dexmethylphenidate (exp105829)". Erowid.org. Aug 26, 2016. erowid.org/exp/105829

30 mg oral Pharms - Dexmethylphenidate (powder / crystals)
  30 mg insufflated Pharms - Dexmethylphenidate (powder / crystals)
  30 mg insufflated Pharms - Dexmethylphenidate (powder / crystals)
Focalin Trip Overdose

The day prior I was given two 30mg Focalin XR capsules by my very good friend. He told me they would 'mess me up' and didn't say much more. I took them both orally the same day and felt like I had snorted 1kg of pure caffeine. The euphoria was overwhelming too, and I couldn't stop running my mouth.

That night I went to my friend's house while I was going through an exhausting and painful come down to ask for 3 more, amounting to 90mg. This is where the actual trip starts.

I woke up Saturday morning still feeling like shit from the seemingly everlasting come down, and waited until noon to pour one of the pill's powder onto a moon pie and ate it. After a few minutes it kicked in, milder than the previous two times. I decided I should snort it to ensure I get the maximum effect possible, and so I snorted small amounts over the next hour until I had 30mg left. This time I snorted all 30mg at once and this is where it began.

I lay down on my bed, and immediately I felt my spirit leave my body and ascend to outer space. I could feel nothing, I was completely numb and could not move. My vision was completely distorted, as the image of my bedroom faded into one big white blur and then changed into what looked like a massive white wall extending from planet earth (below) all the way to what I believe was heaven. Above me at the top of this wall there were nebulae, appearing in every color imaginable. The light coming from above was brighter than anything I'd ever seen in the real world and I was able to look directly at it without harm. After what seemed like hours floating through space, I felt myself dropping very fast, as you would feel on a rollercoaster going down.

I woke up in my bed and saw that nearly 2 hours had passed since I took the Focalin. But the trip was far from over. I could not remember who I was and I started texting people asking them if they remembered me. Some didn't reply, some were confused and one knew I was tripping and told me that I had the wrong person. This further convinced me that I was dead. So for the next 6 hours I laid in bed and pointed at things and kept continuously seeing fly agaric mushrooms with faces forming around me and transforming into other things. I still couldn't remember much but I no longer thought that I was dead.

When I thought the trip was over with I turned off the light to sleep. This triggered intense hallucinations and visual effects which lasted for hours until I finally passed out.

As I type this report, the aftereffects are fucking awful. My eyes have never hurt so bad in my life. It's unbearable.

It's highly addicting and the feeling afterwards isn't worth it.

Exp Year: 2015ExpID: 105829
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 26, 2016Views: 5,866
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Pharms - Dexmethylphenidate (501) : Alone (16), Overdose (29), Bad Trips (6)

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