DOSE:

0.2 g

smoked

Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

It was getting late on a chilly, early spring evening. I had finished my nightly routine of getting myself ready for bed, as well as getting my parrot ready for bed. It was finally time to reside to my bedroom for a nice session of bong rips before bed.

Recently I have been experiencing anxious feelings. I have also been studying and trying to get more in touch with my own spirituality and understanding of my existence. I have becoming more open to thoughts and ideas. I also have been reading alot on enthoegenic plant experiences. I have opened my mind more and in turn, aloud my consciousness and subconsciousness to have a deeper and more intense capacity for psychoactive experiences.

Prior to this experience, I had been been smoking various varieties and quantities of cannabis daily, for about 6 years. In my early days of cannabis use, I would occasionally experience panic attacks, racing heart, racing thoughts, shaking hands, tingling or numbness. Though these sensations for the first dozen highs were very intense, I can say in retrospect I enjoyed them thoroughly, whether frightening or not.

I consider myself an experienced pot smoker. For years now my experience with cannabis has always been mellow and pleasant. I stopped experiencing negative or anxious side effects while high. I can smoke bong load after bong load and always function properly. Like anything else you do day after day, you become used and accustomed to its effects. I thought I had plateaued in my experiences from the effects of cannabis.

What happened to me last night however was very unusual, and quite unpleasant. I had lit my incense, put my music on, created a relaxing atmosphere to get stoned in. I packed the first bowl, ripped it, and immediately followed it with a second slightly larger bowl pack. Just by the feel of the exhale of the 2nd rip, I knew I was going to be very, very stoned. Sweet.

I sit down in my rocking chair, unloading from a nice and productive day. I had ran long distance earlier on in the day, as it is part of my exercise routine, which may or may not play into later events [ leg shaking ]. I remember I was listening to 'blue rondo ala turk' by dave brubeck, and I started to ' space out ' and get deep into thought as what usually happens when I become very high. Eventually my eyes closed while I was sitting and my mind drifts off, thinking with great clarity and depth, enjoying the high.

With my eyes closed, my thoughts were producing slideshow like images when I finally got into a deep enough contemplative like state. It was as if I were looking at a mirror image of my subconscious and its thoughts. I remember thinking very purely and deeply, similar to the concentration achieved through meditating.

After no more than 15 minutes of this I am jolted out of this state, my eye lids thrust back open and suddenly I felt very startled. Similar to the feeling of almost falling asleep and being woken up abruptly and suddenly, leaving a slight feeling of confusion and quickly fleeting sense of anxiety. Although, this was much different.

Upon my eyes opening and snapping back to reality, I feel a mighty and odd sensation of tension in my rectum, as if my body is being sucked in, and folding in on itself. This is accompanied by a feeling of muscle tension throughout my entire body. The word ' seizure ' flashes through my mind, catapulting me into what I now realize was most likely an intense state of anxiety and panic.

At this point, I am not very aware of time, or much external stimuli. I was plagued by the sensation of impending doom and death, as I had experienced many years ago, when I was inexperienced and had virtually to tolerance to cannabinoids. According to my subconscious, I must have been expierencing a deadly and serious reaction to the cannabis I had smoked, which was a relatively low dose. I started believing that perhaps the cannabis had been exposed to or treated with some poisonous or toxic chemical.

The time line of events is sort of fuzzy, with minor pieces of time missing. I can still remember it clearly enough to describe what happened, maybe just not in the particular order of the chain of events. I stand up from my chair, purely out of panic, I had no intention of really moving anywhere. I consider texting my friend who I had acquired the cannabis from and inquire if he or anyone else had experienced an adverse reaction. I then start believing I may be dying and will start convulsing any moment, because I am constipated and my body was absorbing too many toxins [ I wasn't constipated at all, I had a bowel movement earlier in the day ]. My heart is racing in what feels like erratic patterns, my vision is zooming in and out of focus violently, the colors on the walls have a swirling like effect. My breathing then becomes choppy, fast, erratic. This has always been something that freaks me out terribly when experiencing an intense or anxiety provoking high.

I decided I need fresh air, that my incense is probably depriving me of oxygen and that's why I am dying. I stick my head out of my bedroom window, and marvel at the stars in this sheer state of terror [ which at that point I should have realized I was just stoned out of my mind ]. I'm looking at the stars, doing breathing exercises in an attempt to calm my revved up nervous system, to get a handle back on my breathing. I keep telling myself, ' john, you're cool, you're with it man, you'll be all good, you're just real fucking stoned '.

I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, depression, and ocd earlier on in my life. This was indeed, a full fledged, psychological trip on anxiety. Still trying to determine what is happening with me in that horrifying state, my mind begins racing with endless possibilities. I begin pleading to a god I don't believe in to let me live and be okay, that I wont ever mess with cannabis again.

I'm still leaning against my window when my legs start to tremor and shake. I am shaking like I am cold, even though I'm contently warm. This further freaks me out, as now I am sure I'm experiencing the prelude to a seizure. Not to mention my stomach had been slightly upset at the time, even before I smoked. But now, all of these were symptoms of some sort of horrible ailment, which of course is only going lead to death. My legs are visibly trembling, and the shaking starts spreading upwards, until my entire body felt like it was jiggling like jello.

Ideas and images of telling my mom I'm dying and have smoked something horrible like cannabis unknowingly laced with datura flashes through my head. Images of being in a hospital, of talking to doctors, and telling them how I smoked pot. Another side of my consciousness is repeating over and over, ' no one can or ever will die from smoking cannabis. You have smoked so much in your life, and this certainly isnt the last time. You're freaking the fuck out and having a panic attack, you're having a panic attack '. I should have listened to that reasoning sooner.

I then turn the music off, which at this point the instruments and singing sound distorted and terrifying. I lay in my bed wondering when this is going to turn for the worse. I begin trying as hard as I can to focus on south park which I am now watching on my tv. I laugh at something that was happening on the show, and was able to focus for a few seconds, distracting my racing mind. I find it odd how I believe I'm dying and I cant breathe, despite the fact that maybe 30+ minutes have passed of ' having convulsions and not being able to breathe', while completely lucid. I feel very uneasy and I am fidgeting around in my bed.

I try to get a handle on my shaking limbs by moving from sitting positions, to laying positions, trying to find some sort of peace and calm. Sometimes it would stop, and the second I would think about it again, my legs would start jumping around. I now feel the need to go to the bathroom, which is relieving because now I Know I'm not constipated. I finish my business and find an incredible state of calm and logic and reasoning while sitting on the toilet. My breathing becomes stable, my heart stops racing, my thoughts become clear once again. I remember that the colors on the walls and my surrounding were very very vibrant, and it looked as if the colors were swirling and moving, and there was a psychedelic like haze to my vision. My eyes were seeing patterns on the tiles of the bathroom floor, triangular shapes and patterns. Finally, I am calm again and It was just a rough come up to the high.

Wrong. As soon as I get up and leave the bathroom, the shaking and panic sets in again. I walk upstairs seeing the light still on in my parents room. I was afraid my mother would try and speak to me, for I was so tense and my heart was racing so fast I would have sounded like I was crying or very shook up. She knows I smoke cannabis, but I didn't want to alarm her or let her know I was freaking out. I Stumble back up the stairs and walk down the hall back into my bedroom.

My breathing was choppy and rattled, like how it felt when you were young and trying to talk while crying very hard. I am now starting to realize their was no seizure, their was no chemicals in my weed, I am not dying, I am not in trouble. Still the panic and terror drags on.

I remember laying back down on my bed trying to make sense of whats been happening, wondering what in the hell was going on. I think I may have watched tv for a few moments, and thats all I remember. I thought I had turned the lights off and went to sleep. I woke up which must have been around 30 minutes later, still with my clothes, my lights, and tv on. I think the tv was still on anyway. I am still very stoned, colors are still very vibrant and everything that is inanimate still has a moving or waving qualities. I was not shaking at this point, and my breathing was completely normal.

I fell back asleep and woke up a few hours later to use the bathroom, and took another bong rip to lull me back to sleep, apprehensive about the effects after my last two bong rips [ I probably don't seem too bright for doing this, but I was lying to myself when I said I wasn't going to smoke pot anymore, let alone the very same night a few hours later. ] I feel heavy and peaceful after 10 minutes, and after that I had a solid nights sleep.

I believe Cannabis like any other psychoactive substance is more of a vehicle for or a key to the mind, rather than the manipulator of reality itself. The cannabinoids only alter brain waves, the brain is what gives you the experience of your high, which of course is why each and every experience can be different from the last. My mind created this high, this intense experience. The chemicals and composition of our brains are what I believe to be the strongest psychoactive substances on earth. Cannabis just allows your mind to have the freedom to change perception and your reality according to its current state and setting.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 105837
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: May 22, 2026	Views: Not Supported
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