Citation: Italia. "An Edgy All-Nighter: An Experience with Bad/Suspect Molly (exp105881)". Erowid.org. Sep 19, 2021. erowid.org/exp/105881
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Just got five 'molly' capsules. (About 250mg each) Powder is off white and crystal-like. Was told its MDMA... I doubt it, we will see. Have done methylone and Mephedrone in the past as well a good amount of MDMA.
~10:00pm In my apartment alone. I feel generally fine; not on any medications, and I've eaten once today at about 5pm. Decide to take half capsule before SO comes home to see how I feel. If it's good, we will take the others. If not, give them back. Dose is dissolved in Orange soda. It tastes awful and bitter.
No difference until twenty minutes later. My heart starts beating out of my chest and very, very quickly. At least 100bpm, if not more. Best friend shows up, sober. I begin to feel effects similar to soft amphetamines. I very quickly need to use the bathroom.
Starting to get scared and glad I'm not alone for now. I am very quickly upset again that this is not MDMA, and that its more than likely Mephedrone. I don't really like RC's in the first place although I've done quite a few. My heart is beating way too fast still. Heavy stimulant effects and 'speedy' vision. Pupils fluctuate rapidly. I am very cold though it is warm out. Smoking a cigarette makes me nauseated which is strange, considering I chain smoke on MDMA. I can't concentrate on conversation and easily become paranoid (i.e my roommate comes back and asks for her wallet; paranoid I turn off all music and put away all paints and sit outside). Blurred vision. I have to use the bathroom again. Strangely enough, my best friend needs a hug more than I do. It actually feels slightly uncomfortable to physically touch someone else but I am not sure why.
By forty five minutes in, I am able to calm myself down. Heart rate decreases, though only a little. Music is okay though not enhanced. MDMA-type Empathy is not present though I do feel generally more open to listening and talking. I sit and paint to calm myself down. It's nice but nothing like art when rolling on real MDMA so again, I'm quickly disappointed. Not feeling many euphoric effects at all. Decide to redose the other half capsule. Same method. Decide against a whole cap as my high heart rate is still a concern.
11:00pm SO comes home and drops one cap. Within 20 minutes he is feeling 'sedated but energized'. I am still speedy. Feel the need to go for a walk. 'Entactogen' effects are a little stronger now as I have an actual peak. Can feel my hairs stand up though no real touch enhancement. Visually, there is a little change in how things look. I have no desire to hug or touch my SO any more than usual. A little bit of a body buzz and slightly elevated mood.
Still very cold and speedy. Heart rate has lowered to elevated but somewhat normal. My breathing is awkward and forced, it kind of hurts. Walking is pleasant and my SO is also enjoying it. I am beginning to notice that our voices sound echo-y. I also notice that talking feels good but easily forget what I was going to say. Foggy thought processing.
12:30-1am- 1 1/2 hours in, I'm feeling better being outside. Being inside makes me feel foggy and uncomfortable; it may be the temperature inside versus outside. Feeling talkative. Music is annoying and really distracting so I keep it off. Not sure what to do with myself. Anxiety is not so present anymore but restlessness is overwhelming. Still can't really smoke. Enjoying talking about personal things though I worry about being annoying and I'm overly apologetic.
2am- Talk for another hour, both of us redose another half capsule again. There is an irresistible urge to keep redosing... Sedative effects and euphoria are stronger but nothing compared to MDMA. Its almost less authentic of a feeling; like feeling empathy only because I'm supposed to. Music is still very distracting, which bothers me a bit. Speedy effects don't seem to bother as much now though. Feeling content in talking for a few hours. Can't think of anything better to do. Feeling aware but not wanting to move. Slightly cold but it adds to my body buzz at this point. Being warm is uncomfortable anyway. Jaw is now clenching. Having random stomach spasms like I'm going to throw up- but they're manageable. Eye-shaking and blurry vision is still happening. I do not peak again, but the effects of redosing bring me up to a slightly higher level than baseline.
3am Another hour later, SO and I redose the last capsule and talk some more. Fifteen minutes in, I am dry heaving. Did not eat all day but had juice and water. After ten minutes of vomiting, laying back on our bed and having a head massage is soothing, and I notice some peak effects again for a few minutes (feeling like my hairs are standing up, slight touch enhancement, warm fuzzy feeling and generally good mood). Still calm but aware and open to talking. Effects begin to fade quickly. Can't think very well or remember what I was thinking about to begin with. Foggy, scattered thoughts again.
5:00am About six hours in, effects are mostly gone. I get a feeling of sadness and panic and want to redose but I am out and know this would be a bad idea. Begin to get anxious again and pace. I know I can't sleep yet and that is frustrating. SO is drowsy and begins to fall asleep of which I am jealous and irritated about. I am nervous now. I did not count on being awake and alone at five am for a comedown.
I am starting to remember the after effects from my last roll. I am getting upset and anxious- take a walk and have a cigarette. My stomach is growling. I try to eat but have absolutely no appetite. Pupils are still huge saucers. Jaw still clenching. It's starting to get sore now. I am very tired. Don't really want to be social but don't really want to be alone. Then again, not really caring either way. Try and lay down. It's not comfortable, I toss and turn.
It's 8 am and I am still awake. I have been trying to distract myself by reading or playing on my phone but it's all been slightly anxiety provoking. Not sure when I'll be able to sleep. Still hungry but I need to go out to the store and get food and don't want to move. Still no appetite anyway. Not so depressed or anxious anymore though I am worried. My last experience with this substance ended very badly. I was not able to sleep for two more nights straight and ended up being lethargic, paranoid and hallucinating very frightening things the last night for several hours before exhaustion took over and I blacked out. I did not remember the cause of this at the time of this second experience or I would have probably not done it.
I am hoping that I will be able to sleep soon as I do not want a repeat. I will try as hard as possible to get a couple of hours at least. Overall, drug is mildly interesting. Good for talking with people who are okay with you rolling with them. Can induce paranoia easily so stay where and with comfortable surroundings/people. Lacks the empathogen-type effects, very speedy and easily manipulated (I.e by where you go, who you're with, etc.) roll. Probably will not do it again anytime soon as the comedowns are not favorable for me and the peak itself is not worth the after effects.
10:30am I kind of fell asleep for a little while though it was that half-sleep where you are still aware of what's going on around you. My roommate wakes me up and asks for something. The paranoia and anxiety creeps in but not to the same extent as the night before. My eyes are burning as I know I am exhausted and decide to stay in bed. I fall asleep again but wake up a few times throughout the next couple of hours. SO is grinding his teeth in his sleep which irritates me more than usual. The sound is aggravating and makes my anxiety increase.
2:30pm I wake up from that half-sleep not feeling rested, but not as exhausted. I know at this point I will not be able to get back to sleep though I don't really want to do anything. It's uncomfortable again. I am slightly anxious. My blood sugar is noticeably low. My jaw is sore and still wants to clench out of reflex. My lungs/chest muscles also feel kind of sore from the heavy breathing from last night. I feel fidgety and want to eat because I'm hungry but know that I have absolutely no appetite still. SO woke up but has fallen back asleep after stating that he felt panicky and that his body felt very tired. I feel generally dysphoric. All I can do is give in to it and at least realize that the hangover is nothing compared to MDMA binges where I could not eat or sleep for days and felt very depressed thereafter. This is only slightly reassuring.
I was hoping that I would get legitimate MDMA though I was doubtful in the first place as I haven't been able to find it consistently in years. (The last time I did was about eight months ago and it had 4-FA and something else added to it which made me nervous but increased the effects of the roll greatly. It was an extremely physical roll and I ended up vomiting and immediately after, I had the drop or the peak. I was unable to think clearly but felt very happy to be around friends, etc.)
I am not really familiar with 4-FA as I had been told about it after my initial roll at that time but would still prefer it to Mephedrone/Methylone, though would still like pure MDMA over anything.
I was very easily dehydrated and my lips are dry and chapped now. I would hate to have to go to work feeling like this.
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