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Total Ego Meltdown
by Tae
Citation:   Tae. "Total Ego Meltdown: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp106016)". Oct 10, 2018.

3000 ug sublingual 25I-NBOMe (blotter / tab)
[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
Type of Drug taken: 25i-NBome
Dose: 3x 1000 ug blotter paper

I am rather new to psychedelics, I used Mushrooms, Cannabis, some kind of Synthetic cannaboids, and this chemical, from which I have taken about 50-70 tabs over half a year. Since I have been using this drug, I had very blissful, insightful experiences, it helped me rearrange my world view, look at things from a different perspective, but at most of the times it was really exhausting and confusing, and despite the obvious harm to my body, and thinking, I kept using this compound.

The trip, which was my last with this chemical started on a sunny day, when I had nothing important to do, I was free on my own, so I decided to go outside, on a plateau near my hometown, and trip in the beautiful Mother Nature, and experience the openness of a large blooming field.

T+0:00 I arrive at the plateau, and put 3 pieces of 1000ug blotter, under my tounge. I start to walk and think about things in my life, I was really calm and happy, the sun was shining brightly, and was really looking forward to the experience. I had not taken anything in a month, so I knew the experience would be intense.

T+0:30 I arrive in a sparse forest, and I start to recognize patterns in the branches of the trees, the colors start to intensify, and I feel an urge to run out to the field and lay down with closed eyes.

T+1:00 I am back in the forest, starting to be a little bit confused about where I am, but nevertheless, I continue to venture deeper into the woods.

T+1:30 Fuck. I realize I am really lost, colors are swirling around me, chaotic thoughts start to appear, but luckily, I spot a landmark, a castle near my village, so finally I know where to go if I want to get to a familiar place.

T+2:00 I am in the middle of the field, and having REALLY confused thoughts. I start to feel that my body is rotting, I hear voices, distorted personalities of my close friends talk to me about things I can't comprehend.
I start to feel that my body is rotting, I hear voices, distorted personalities of my close friends talk to me about things I can't comprehend.
My consciousness is torn apart, my ego is melting down into madness. I am existing in at least 4 timelines at the same 'time' and having vivid and disgusting hallucinations.
I am existing in at least 4 timelines at the same 'time' and having vivid and disgusting hallucinations.

-In one of the timelines I die, but my decomposing body is still walking with me. I hear my own screams as I try to overcome my total disintegration. I shout 'NOO' 'I WANT TO LIVE' 'GIVE ME STRENGTH GIVE ME ENERGY'

-In another timeline I am a visitor to Earth and material existence, came to earth on an alien spaceship populated with some kind of divine creatures speaking angelic tounges, and they want to leave me here, taking only my Spiritual self with them, leaving my body, and the whole world to rot. I take off all my clothes, tear my bracelet apart, and start to run naked on the road, screaming commands to my angelic comrades, in order to not let them leave this material world to disintegrate.

-So there is another timeline In which I am Jesus Christ and am receiving commands from the almighty God, looking at the mess I made, with tearful eyes, promising to never do anything like this again, and to save the world from this kind of madness.

-In another timeline, I am the consciousness of my lately died grandmother, experiencing the gravestone being put over her head, and hands gently closing my eyes forever, letting me to slip into oblivion.

So as you can see, I was really really messed up, my ego disintegrated in the most disgusting way, my consciousness, my self controll is non-existent, and my bag, my clothes and all my things are scattered all over the place.

There were episodes of this madness that I am not able to comprehend looking back. At one time I met a guy with a motorbike, still being naked and I started to shout commands at him (apparently he did what I told him, he went to specific directions, started to collect my things, but many times threathened me that he would call the police).

Later, I remember running away from my own decomposing body from another paralell crazy timeline, still naked, I ran back and forth into the woods, voices were talking crazy things in my head, and making me do really twisted things.

T+3:00-6:00 After climbing on top of some rotten haybales, and injuring my legs, I ran into the woods. There is a part I don't remember, the next memory is that I am 'dancing' on top of a hotel, reciting spontaneous poetry about the actual situation, which sounded extremely enjoyable at the time. I can't really explain the system of my thinking at the time. I played with light, decomposed the white light from the sun into all the colours, and started to feed on it. Also, it was like on a post-apocalyptic world, where all this 'madness' seemed normal and acceptable. There was a dog with which I communicated telepathicly, I made him do what I asked him to, and declaimed poetry about this blissful existence. The only problem was that there were people around me, and I was naked like a newborn child, so it was not a socially acceptable situation.

My next memory is about a man in red shirt calling the police, and asking me if I smoked weed or something. I was sitting under a tree, and enjoying the light, not caring about my nakedness or what the people were thinking. Some time later the police arrived, and they were joking about me, and calling the ambulance. After some time I managed to tell them my name and address, so they could tell my brother that he should bring me some clothes. Later, when I had my clothes the ambulance arrived, and they took me into the hospital. I was still really confused, but relaxed and happy at the same time.

I had terrific luck, because my father came in, and when the chief medical officer examined me, they spoke about who I was, and he saw that I am not a lowlife criminal, or a neurotic maniac, I just used some shitty drug.

They let me home, miraculously I got away from any kind of legal harrassment. I wrote the experience down to warn everyone of the potential dangers in this chemical. In the beginning, I feel sane, euphoric, normally functioning and really open, but as time passes and I use this continuously, it got worse, really confusing and mind fucking. I got rid if the remaining pieces.

Exp Year: 2015ExpID: 106016
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Oct 10, 2018Views: 1,404
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25I-NBOMe (542), Police / Customs (60) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Various (28)

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