DOSE: T+ 0:00	200 mg	sublingual	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:00	200 mg	sublingual	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
T+ 4:00	1 cig.	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes
T+ 9:00	1 cig.	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
This is a story of an methoxetamine (MXE) trip. I have had experience with all of the classic psychedelics and some novel ones, and was a daily pot smoker for years until about 9 months before this experience. I quit smoking pot because I realized it was part of my anxiety problem which went over the edge and landed me in medical treatment. Regular high dosage phenylpiracetam and occasional meth use also played a role in my anxiety going over the edge. Having been seeing therapists for a long time and not wanting to smoke pot or do classic psychedelics due to anxiety I started doing DXM fairly frequently, and after some research, ordered MXE. I found dissociatives to offer a psychedelic experience that I found valuable, and felt safe with them because they didn't induce anxiety like the classic psychedelics can.

A note about the dosage – some people on the internet have said that the MXE from the supplier I purchased from is less potent than pure MXE, and that they would take twice as much from this supplier as opposed to pure MXE. That said, I also have increased my tolerance to dissociatives by taking DXM fairly regularly, so that I required 450 mg DXM to get effects I previously experienced at 300 mg.

10:00 pm – I take 200 mg MXE sublingually for at least 15 minutes then swallow it.

10:30 pm – I am feeling the familiar body load and relaxed trip associated with MXE.

11:00 pm – I believe I feel the full effects of the first dose, and having taken 500 mg in a night previously over a more extended period of time I decide to look for the M hole and take another 200 mg sublingually for at least 15 minutes before swallowing it.

12:00 am – I am strongly disassociated at this point and have switched from a TV show to silence so I can better appreciate the experience. I decide to go all out and take another 100 mg, which I manage somehow through blurred eyes and robotic movement, again taking it sublingually for at least 15 minutes then swallowing.

12:30 am – I can tell this will be a night to remember. I somehow manage to put on music and get a visualizer going on my projector. The psytrance and lights facilitate the coming experience

1:00 am – I am fully immersed in a trip regarding life being and death. I am amazed that consciousness can exist at all, and wonder at how I came to be and what the meaning of consciousness is. This is a IV or V on the Shulgin scale, at least as intense of an experience as I had on a very memorable occasion with 4 hits of strong acid. Phrases like crystal soul womb may seem too clichι, but I don't know how else to describe this extraordinary state. I have lost contact with my body and am engaged in experiencing being and awed that I can experience anything at all. Consciousness feels like an incredible and delicate gift.

2:00 am – I come out of my immersive experience a slight amount. Somehow I manage to stand and walk to the patio to smoke a cigarette. Coming back I realize I won't get back to the peak I just experienced, I lay back to the music and contemplate what just happened.

3:00 am – I decide to keep the party going and take another 100 mg of MXE sublingually for 15 minutes. I am still awed at the peak of my experience. I take some photos of my silhouette against the projector screen and send them to a friend, very brokenly explaining my experience. The phone seems ridiculous and magical and is very difficult to operate.

5:00 am – I am still awed by my experience, but by this point anxiety is beginning to creep in and I start worrying that I've broken myself and I won't recover functionality after this trip, though I should have known better having had similar thoughts in other comedowns before this which were proved untrue. My computer went to sleep somehow and it takes me several tries to get the password, so I worry I've damaged my memory. In retrospect the final dose of MXE was probably not the best idea as it just dragged this stage out.

7:00 am – The sun is rising and I smoke another cigarette. I wonder if I'm capable of going out to get coffee. I decide not to try. I have a song stuck in my head and it takes a great deal of effort to look it up on the computer. I'm still wondering if I've done permanent damage with this massive dose and if the difficulties I'm having doing basic things like using the computer will go away.

9:00 am – About this time I fall asleep.

1:00 pm – I wake up, a bit groggy, from an alarm I had set. I need to leave for an appointment with a counselor in half an hour. I realize I have regained the functionality I had been afraid I had lost forever, though I am a bit groggy.

1:30 pm – I guzzle some soda and head off to my appointment, where I come clean to my counselor about an issue I had been afraid to talk about all these months. I am able to be more honest than I have been previously, and I believe some progress was made.

Overall this was a very powerful experience which I would hesitate to repeat if only because at its height it was more meaningful than fun and I think I've learned the lesson I had to learn from this substance. As I am writing this several days later I am on a cumulative dose of 300 mg of MXE for the night. I am still impressed by the experience and am beginning to relate it more comprehensibly to a friend, who I may give my stash to as I feel I may be done with this particular chemical. I am glad I had this experience, and I think it helped me to value myself and open up. I'm not sure I could repeat it if I wanted to.

This was a very valuable and memorable time for me, and I am grateful I was able to have this experience. I believe I will think about this for the rest of my life.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 106035
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Oct 11, 2022	Views: 391
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Methoxetamine (527) : General (1), Alone (16)