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Connected by a Universal Theme of Love
Ayahuasca
by Alex
Citation:   Alex. "Connected by a Universal Theme of Love: An Experience with Ayahuasca (exp106313)". Erowid.org. Feb 20, 2018. erowid.org/exp/106313

 
DOSE:
1 cup oral Ayahuasca (tea)

BODY WEIGHT: 185 lb


Note: I am unable to accurately gauge the dosage consumed, as the Ayahuasca tea was prepared in advance by our Shaman.

I had been traveling in Peru for a couple weeks, and found myself in a small camp deep in the Amazon, 3 hours by boat outside the city of Iquitos. When we arrived at the base camp I was blown away by how much life the rainforest had. While it was teaming with life everywhere, something about it made me feel uneasy and out of place.

On the second night at the camp a group of 5 other travelers and I would be participating in an Ayahuasca ceremony. The ceremony took place that night in a small hut with our Shaman, the Spiritual Guide.

Inside the hut we all sat cross-legged next to our buckets (each person had a bucket for vomiting, as “the purge” is a very common thing to experience when consuming Ayahuasca). The Shaman sat down with us and explained what we would be experiencing that night. He passed out the Ayahuasca, in the form of a bitter dark tea. We then drank, closed our eyes, and meditated on what we wanted to get out of the experience, while we waited for ceremony began.

After 30 minutes the first sign that things were starting to change occurred with the floor rocking back and forth like a pirate ship. Panic and uneasiness began to strike me as I experienced this coming up. Sensing my nervousness, the Shaman guided me out of that dark place by chanting and sending out his energy.

At 45 minutes I really started feeling the strong rush of the Ayahuasca seeping into my consciousness. I signaled again to the Shaman to guide me with his energy, and he came to my aid with more chanting. This put me at ease, though the feeling was still overwhelming.

Soon after, the Shaman began his ceremony. This included singing, humming, feathering noises, smoke & aromas. He made his way around the group, blessing each individual person with a song. As my turn came up I was feeling nervous and uncertain, as I had heard of other travelers experiencing Shamans with mal intent, who turned out to be witches masquerading as spiritual healers. I did not know the Shaman personally and was beginning to doubt his intentions, inducing paranoia. As it got closer to my turn to be blessed, my nervousness grew.

It was my turn. My eyes were closed. As the chanting and blessing began I intrinsically sensed that he had nothing but the best intentions to be our guide and healer. I began to embrace the experience instead of fight it. The only words that can describe what followed would be an intensely vivid trance.

The singing of the Shaman and the shaking of his feathers brought me into a waking dream. I looked to my side. I had wings. The wings of an eagle. As I was soaring I felt a certain part of me break free. Free and unchained from the limits of my own thinking. I saw that life does not operate on a grid; there is wiggle room in everything, and flexibility is needed to co-exist as part of the universe. As I enjoyed soaring across visions of vivid mountain, lake, and forest landscapes, the feeling increased. I knew at that point I would carry this unearthed feeling of freedom with me forever.

During the trance I also experienced visions of family, friends, significant other and deceased family.
During the trance I also experienced visions of family, friends, significant other and deceased family.
I could appreciate their presence in a way I hadn’t before. I knew that I had taken these people in my life for granted. I felt strong feelings of connectedness to family and a longing to appreciate those who are in my life. It was there I experienced that the world is connected by a universal theme of love. It’s the energy of love that connects us to each other, and the rest of the universe.

Still chanting, the Shaman’s song seemed to melt into my soul. I appreciated it on a profound level, as if his song remained inside and became a part of me. I was reminded of an Anaconda I had met earlier in the day. I was struck by how impressive this creature was, with its strong muscle and coils. He was the king of his domain, and I only a guest in his home.

After 2.5 hours the ceremony ended. I opened my eyes, and the patterns on the blanket next to me were swirling like snakes. I walked outside to use the restroom and saw sparks of light and fireworks. They looked like bright fireflies darting around my periphery.

In the restroom there was an insect crawling on the wall. When I first arrived in the Amazon, I was a bit uneasy about all the insects around. But at that point, my perspective had completely changed. I felt a deeply euphoric connection to this insect and the universe itself. It made me smile and realize I was a guest in its home.

The camp was very serene at this point, but still full of life. It struck me deeply how musical all the sounds of the Amazon were, with trees rustling, insects buzzing, and thunderclouds rumbling. I realized at that point that there is more to music than instruments. Music is everywhere in the world. The sound of life is inherently musical in itself.

At 3.5 hours in I was still feeling the effects, but had come down enough to interact more with my surroundings. I made my way back to the common area. Others were sitting on the deck, reflecting on their experiences. A guy sitting next to me was playing a wooden flute he had. It sounded beautiful and natural, in a way that recorded audio couldn’t. We all talked about what we had experienced during the ceremony. Though the ceremony was a solitary experience, there was still a feeling of connectedness amongst everyone. We talked, sat in hammocks and gave our thanks to the Shaman, who nodded in an understanding way. All doubts of this individual had long drifted away and what remained was a deep appreciation for what he had shared with us.

At 4.5 hours the others started to retire to bed. I sat out more, as I noticed lightning and a thunderstorm off in the distance. It was calm and beautiful out, yet the Amazon was still buzzing and alive. I went back to my room to sleep but decided I was not quite ready to end my journey, because I had yet to purge. I knew this was an important part of the experience because it is said that the purge rinses us of all the toxins and negative energy that we have accumulated throughout our lives. I felt it coming soon.

At 5 hours in I had mostly come down, but the feeling of nausea I was told I’d experience really started to creep in. I sat outside on some stairs with my bucket, and I knew it was time. I finally let it all go. The blackness that came out seemed to be all the dark and negative matter that collected in me during my life. It was rinsed out during this experience, leaving nothing but a fresh and clean state. It felt great to let it go. Once I was finished I knew it was time for the experience to come to an end. I made my way back to my bed, and listened to music on my headphones as I gently drifted off.

The next day was as peaceful as my experience the night before. The rest of the camp was drifting around, going about their morning. Our Shaman was sitting in his usual hammock. “What did you think of my ceremony?” he said with a knowing grin.

Still carrying the peaceful serenity of the experience the night before, I stripped down to my shorts and jumped into the Amazon River. This made the whole experience come full circle. With the journey complete, I knew I would take everything I had experienced with me for the rest of my life.

The next two days involved exploring the Amazon. The subtle uneasiness I felt from being in the rainforest prior to the ceremony had completely melted away. I was much more calm and accepting of the place. I felt a deep connection to the rain forest’s inhabitants.

On the last day I was leaving back to Iquitos. On the final leg of our journey I had the opportunity to swim with one of the rainforest’s elusive inhabitants, the pink dolphin. I swam next to pink and grey dolphin that relaxed leisurely around me. At no point was I more appreciative of the rain forest’s acceptance of me and the experience I had in it.

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 106313
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 26 
Published: Feb 20, 2018Views: 984
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Ayahuasca (8) : Entities / Beings (37), Guides / Sitters (39), General (1), Group Ceremony (21)

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