Citation: Chidgey. "Psychedelic Surgery: An Experience with DMT (exp106379)". Erowid.org. Nov 19, 2020. erowid.org/exp/106379
This is a report of my first breakthrough on DMT. I had smoked DMT twice before but had never broken through (although they were still intense experiences).
Set and Setting
This experience took place at my house with my housemate and his dog as my sitters. It was a Sunday and I was in a very happy and relaxed mindset. I had not planned on smoking any DMT on that day, but as the day progressed, the idea entered my head and on impulse I decided I was going to undergo an experience. Due to my positive mindset and lack of anxiety I knew that this was the best moment to do so. I grabbed my stash and my pipe and headed upstairs to my bedroom. My housemate and the dog stayed downstairs but due to my experience with psychedelics I knew I'd be ok on my own. Plus if I did need anyone my housemate was only downstairs, a mere shout away.
Dose and Method
My chosen dose was 50mg as I knew this was a strong dose and would be plenty enough for a breakthrough experience. My chosen device for smoking the DMT was a 'DMT Machine' which is comprised of a glass bottle with a hole in the bottom and steel brillo pad (topped with DMT) placed in the neck of the bottle. I have found this a very effective way of vaporizing DMT without losing any to overheating.
Due to the fact that I had no reference of time during the experience I will not present this as a timeline. If I did it would merely be speculation.
Upon entering my room I wasted no time and loaded the pipe. Without thinking I put the pipe to my lips and lit. I took a huge lungful and held for 15 seconds. After blowing it out I instantly took a second long hit. By now I could feel the drug taking effect. After holding another 15 seconds I took a third and held. By this point my entire head was buzzing and I could hear the distinct sound of the 'carrier wave' approaching. That's when I closed my eyes.
The first thing I noticed was that instead of black the colour behind my closed eyes was a light baby blue. 'It's not enough!', chipped in my ego mind, and I knew that it was true. I opened my eyes and took a fourth hit. The room was breathing and flowing at this point but nothing I hadn't seen of high doses of mushrooms before. After holding the hit and blowing out I closed my eyes again. This time I knew that this was it.
This time the first thing I saw was the incredible chrysanthemum that has revealed itself on previous experiences. I find that it looks like a pattern of infinite detail that's made up of buzzing, folding, hyper spatial worms or snakes (in shape not species). The carrier wave became much more prominent and buzzed with immense energy. I could feel it encompassing me and was ever accelerating. The visuals and buzzing grew in intensity more and more until it was almost unbearable. All this felt like it happened in a fraction of a second and that's where things got really weird.
Suddenly I was in a space filled with blinding liquid white light. There was nothing recognizable, just pure white light which as the pattern before was folding in and out of itself. As soon as I entered the space I was aware of being surrounded by what felt like thousands of beings, they had been waiting for me and I knew it. As the white light would fold and bend (through dimensions?) another entity would reveal itself to me, although they were impossible to look directly at. The only entity that felt like it was there for the whole time was a definite female entity. Although I couldn't 'see' her as such, I could feel her size. She was immense and I felt like an ant next to a whale in her presence. For some reason the environment felt very surgical and I will explain why next.
Every time one of the entities presented itself to me it would do something to me. For instance I felt like I was torn apart, put back together in a different order, thrown about like a ragdoll and some of them were even jumping in and out my body/consciousness. It definitely felt like a procedure of some kind, like I was being 'operated' on. These entities sure knew what they were doing and I had no control whatsoever. Overwhelming would be a massive understatement. Luckily most of my ego mind had been lost at the get go so I managed to get through the ordeal without worrying for my life. When my ego mind did slip back a few times it was more curious than scared. I was asking questions to the female entity such as 'what are you?', 'are you gods?', 'What are you doing to me?' and 'What can you teach me?', but all my questions were met with silence. The entities had business to attend to it seemed. I was slightly disappointed but oddly knew deep down that whatever they were doing, they had to do.
After a minute or two of this the white began to slowly dull down and I could see another white form beginning to take shape in my field of view. Was it a cloud, no it's an animal, is it a dog, what the hell is that? The closest I can describe to what appeared is a cross between a jack russell, a hamster, a guinea pig and Totoro (from a popular japanese cartoon). This bizarre creature bit onto one of the 'utensils' that one of the entities was using and began pulling on it. The next thing I know is that this creature and the entity were having a pull of war over this tool of some kind. I watched this epic battle unfold completely bemused as my mind began to pull itself back out of hyperspace. The last thing I remember seeing was some sort of super futuristic tube full of pulsing light and covered in the most extreme sacred geometric patterns ever. My ego was back by this point so I was even able to look at this illogical object with my rational mind which was incredible. I just gazed at this wonder until I finally floated back to earth like a feather.
Upon opening my eyes I was still having intense OEV's but I was definitely back to this reality and was thankful for this fact. My body began to shake as I realized the ramifications of what had just taken place. I ran downstairs to tell my housemate about my adventure but all I could manage to vocalise for the next twenty minutes was holy shit, that was crazy, I seriously don't know what that was. The closest I could equate it to was an alien abduction (although getting abducted in a UFO would probably be less weird than the DMT experience was). I felt amazing after this experience, even better than I did before I smoked it and have had no negative effects since. If nothing else, DMT is inspirational and gives food for thought. I could not stop thinking about it for days (in a good way).
What I Learned
The main thing I learned was that DMT is not to be messed with. It is extremely intense and could be massively damaging to the unprepared. Unlike mushrooms I did not have any great insights from the DMT except that the world is a lot weirder than I though, and so are psychedelics. I also learned the value of set and setting, if I hadn't been so relaxed beforehand I doubt I would have let go quite as easily as I did.
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